A Day Full of ......

...... sons.  
Which makes it a pretty dang good day.  :)

I had a short meeting this morning.  I'm going to be mentoring a student (who's considered "at risk") at a local elementary school this year.  I'm not sure what to expect with this, but I hope that it goes well.  It will be good to be around a younger child again.  And to hopefully make a difference in his/her life.  Just by giving him/her attention.  He/She will probably make more of a difference in my life than I will in his/hers.

After that I came home and worked MOST OF THE DAY on setting up a new printer and trying to print pictures that I need to send to our high school.
Let's just say that technology and I are "friends", but not friendly friends.  We're more like "I-only-put-up-with-you-because-you're-a close-friend-of my-close-friend, but-if-you-weren't-,I'd-never-spend-time-with-you.-Ever.-friend."
In other words, we put up with each other.

Which means that it takes me hours to figure out something that would take a computer geek a matter of minutes.
But ...... and here's the important part ...... I conquered it.  Mostly.  I think.

While I was knee-deep in converting files to print, and downloading drivers, Son #1 called.
Just to talk.  
And say hi.
And ...... to say "thank you".
If you have a son over the age of 13, then you know exactly how huge this was.
And how very, very good it felt.
I love my sons.
:)

He had a meeting with a young woman today.
She's 21 ...... one year younger than he is.
And she has two children.
And lives in a run-down motel room.

And that hit him.
Hard.
So he called me.
And said, "Thank you."
"Thank you for being a mom who always supported me and encouraged me to do and be the best that I could be ...... so that I didn't end up living in a run-down motel room."
I almost cried.
But I didn't.
Sons don't respond well, overall, to tears.

I think we talked for close to an hour.
He made my day.
:)

And then once I posted this picture to Facebook .......

with the caption, "Two possible additions" and immediately (I'm not kidding ..... immediately.  Like within two (2) seconds.) received a text from Son #2.  He asked if I was at home.  I texted back and said, "Yes, why?" and he wrote that he was coming over to see those dogs.  And so he was.  Even though their owner was at my house, ready to take them home.  She graciously waited for him to arrive and get to meet the two canines.  He liked them.  But really, there's not anything to not like.  :)
(This friend's husband has been transferred to S. Africa so they and their 2 children, a son who's a senior and a daughter who's in 7th grade) are moving at the end of the year.  And they can't take the dogs.  And are heart broken.  So I told her that I would take them.  Yes, I most likely lost my mind for a second, but here's the deal:  they're adult dogs (not hyper puppies who chew on everything and aren't house broken), they love each other and cats (though Oliver does not return their love ....... yet), and are really great dogs.  And, here's what I like best, they're big dogs and they have big barks.  Which makes me, a woman who is home alone quite a bit of the time ...... and soon to be all of the time ...... feel a lot safer.  

So I told Son #2 to come on over.
And just so you know, Daughter #3 texted me immediately after Son #2 texted.  What the heck?  Are these kids stalking my FB page or what?!

So Son #2 came over.
And liked the dogs.
Of course.
:)
And then the two of us went to dinner.  At one of his favorite places. And I enjoyed spending time with him.  
Very much.
:)

Son #3 came home to meet and play with the dogs so that he could give his opinion (he likes them a lot and is very pleased that I said they could sleep in his room.  VERY pleased.  :)
Then he went to a football game.
So it was just Son #2 and me.

I have great kids.
Really great.
No, they don't always act great, but they still are.
And I'm very proud of each of them, for different reasons.  And for who they've become.
In spite of.
So much.

I love that they want to Skype with me and each other every Sunday night.
I love that they sometimes take time to ponder things ...... and then call me to say, "Thanks, Mom."
Because, really?  What mom doesn't love that?  It's what we live for.  Mostly.

In other news ...... I last saw my rheumatologist in June, or maybe May.  I can't remember.  But at that visit I told him that I was not going to take the meds any longer. They weren't doing anything to help with the pain,even though he had tripled the dose over the last year.  He wasn't willing to change to a newer, maybe better, med, so I said that I was done.  I didn't see the point of continuing to take a chemo drug when it didn't make any difference to my joints.
So he said OK (because what else could he say?).  And he said that I could just maintain with other pain meds (that also don't help) with my regular doctor.  I didn't need to see him any longer, unless I got worse.

So I didn't see him all summer.  And nothing changed.  My joints still hurt, but they hurt about the same amount as they always had.  And I just ignored them as best I could and kept on keeping on.
I still used acupuncture, hoping that it would help with the joint pain.  And still do.
And am still hoping.

But then ...... about 2 weeks ago, things got worse.
The pain crept past my toes and feet ...... and into my knees.
And past my fingers and hands ...... and into my wrists and elbows.  
I wake up every night because the pain wakes me.
Every morning I creep out of bed slowly, because my feet and knees are screaming at me.
My fingers are swollen every morning ...... which makes it hard to open a bottle that has a seal on it (like a bottle of orange juice, or chocolate milk ....... or whatever).
Things have definitely progressed.
And not in a good way.

So I called that doctor's office yesterday and made an appointment.  For next week.
I'm way less than happy about that.
But I can't deny the fact that something is definitely going on inside of my body ...... and it's not good.

Before Jim died ...... I was perfectly healthy.
I had high cholesterol (that is 100% hereditary), but that was it.  I took no other meds, other than a multivitamin and extra calcium.
That was it.

But then he died.
And my "after" began.
And my body went to hell in a hand basket, to use an old quote.

If anyone needs proof that grief can physically change and ravage your body, I would give them ...... me.
It's astounding to me that my body has changed so much in less than 5 years.  And that I've experienced almost every single thing that grief can bring to a person.
Depression.
Cancer.
Pernicious anemia.
Rheumatoid arthritis.
Memory loss.
Sleep loss.
Post traumatic stress syndrome.
High blood pressure.
Irregular heart beat.
Immune system problems.

You name it, I've probably experienced it in the last 5 years.
And that sucks.
So much.

Because ...... REALLY?!!!
It's not enough to lose the love of my life, the father to my children, a father who was very much needed by his 3 sons, a husband who was very much needed by his wife of almost (but not quite) 25 years, the only man she ever loved.
No, we all had to lose him ...... and then I get to endure so much more.  So many physical problems that have made life even more difficult.

But ...... it is what it is.
And so I move forward.
And try my best to ignore the physical problems.
Which, isn't always the best answer to a problem.
But there you go.  

I'm not very good at "resting".
Especially when "resting" makes my joints hurt worse than staying active.
Another cruel joke.

Well ...... I think that's quite enough for today.
This was a long post.
I didn't intend it to be long.
But I never do.

I just start writing.
And go with the flow.

You never know where that flow will take you ...... do you?

Happy Thursday/Friday, Peeps.
And thank you.
Thank you for being here.
As always, I appreciate it.
More than you know.

:)