And posts.
I've had enough.
And I can only imagine how you feel.
:)
So I decided today that I'm done with the negative thoughts.
Three years ago I had no control over that.
But now I do.
Most of the time.
So I am choosing to find joy.
I may have experienced some horrible crap from a couple of people, but I've only experienced love and concern from most people.
And most people are the ones who count.
The others aren't worth the time to think about.
Today as I was driving to the other side of Houston I heard the song "I Just Want to Celebrate" by Rare Earth (a Motown band that was at its peak in the two short years from 1970-1972. Music is a very hard business .... even for a white Motown band.)
I had already decided to get over myself when I heard this song.
Here are the lyrics:
I just want to celebrate another day of livin'
I just want to celebrate another day of life
I put my faith in the people
But the people let me down
So I turned the other way
And I carry on, anyhow
That's why I'm telling you
I just want to celebrate, yeah, yeah
I just want to celebrate, yeah, yeah
Another day of living,
I just want to celebrate another day of life
Had my hand on the dollar bill
And the dollar bill blew away
But the sun is shining down on me
And it's here to stay
That's why I'm telling you
I just want to celebrate, yeah, yeah
Another day of living, yeah
I just want to celebrate another day of living
I just want to celebrate another day of life
Don't let it all get you down,
Don't let it turn you around and around
And around and around
Well, I can't be bothered with sorrow
And I can't be bothered with hate, no, no
I'm using up my time by feeling fine, every day
That's why I'm telling you I just want to celebrate
Aw, yeah
I just want to celebrate yeah yeah
Another day of living, yeah yeah
I just want to celebrate another day of livin', yeah
I just want to celebrate another day of life
Don't let it all get you down, no, no
Don't let it turn you around and around,
And around and around, and around
Around round round
'round and around round round round
don't go 'round
A great song.
Better than I remember.
But maybe that's because it means something different to me now.
:)
I had "Circle" at my house tonight.
We had a new woman.
She's 10 days out.
Ten days.
My heart hurts for her ...... and for everything that's in store for her.
And I am selfishly grateful ...... that I am past those days.
It's hard for me to even think about those days.
Those first two years.
When I do let myself think about them (which isn't often), I'm surprised that I'm still here.
Those of you on this road get that.
Those of you who aren't ...... don't. Not really.
And I hope that you never do.
Ten days.
I would not have been in a group of widows at ten days.
Which isn't to say that she's doing "better' than I was ..... or that I was doing worse ...... but only to say that we all grieve in our own way.
And that's ok.
I'm sorry every time someone new joins our group.
Truly, truly sorry.
But also thankful.
Thankful that someone who's grieving the loss of her husband has several women who understand ...... and who get it.
Thankful that many times ...... no words are needed. No explanation has to be made.
And no time is wasted.
Each woman is immediately accepted, validated, listened to ...... and loved.
It's amazing.
And needed.
I wish every widowed person had a "Circle".
Happy Wednesday/Thursday, Peeps.
:)
Hey Janine,
ReplyDeleteI've told you this many times but I will continue to tell you....I love reading your blog....I so look forward to it and get excited about EVERY new post!!! How did you create your circle?
xoxo
Maureen
Admit it... when you read those lyrics, you sang them. I did. :-)
ReplyDeleteGreat song and the best attitude!! I'm smiling with you and I hope it's for many more days to come!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the time, effort and passion you put into the community. I wish you didn't have to do it, but am thankful you do.
ReplyDeletea great song; and I am glad that you are feeling better an concentrating on the positive. however, I don't think it's a bad thing that you put the negative out here. I have told you before and will tell you again - your sharing of the good AND the bad has literally saved my life. Just knowing that all those feelings were "normal" and that I wasn't crazy or the only one was a comfort. I think your honesty with ALL emotions has been a saving grace to many widows.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the new member to your club. My prayers go out to her. I don't think I ever could have mobilized at 10 days to do that. She is lucky to have found you and your circle.