A dollar per sock

I wish more people read this blog (or least made comments!) so that I could get some ideas from them. Once again I'm at my wits end. Why, oh why, can some people in my home NOT keep their socks on their feet? This has been an issue since --- oh, maybe 1996 (give or take a year). I have 3 children (not to be male bashing, but go ahead - guess what sex they are) who can't seem to keep their feet covered. Now, I have no problem with them going barefoot -- heck, most of the time I'm barefoot at home (I try to keep my shoes on in public since some places frown on barefeet -- go figure). But, when I decide to go barefoot I leave my socks in my room. Sounds normal, right? OH. MY. GOSH. I'm going to hang someone up by their toes momentarily!!! Here are some of the places where I find socks: under the couch, under the couch cushions, inside the lift-up arm rests of the couch, in the toy box, in a planter, in a video drawer, on the porch, in the garage (which I guess is better than wearing them out in the dirt), on the stairs (kudos for at least getting it on its way to the bedroom), in the piano bench (cuz I'm guessing that you can't use the pedals with socks?), under the kitchen sink, in the dog's bed (oh yeah, blame the dog) and the latest find -- in my new car!!! That's it, the last straw, your last chance, my last nerve - you name it, it's the last!
My latest plan was to throw away every sock I found. So I told the boys --( oh dang! I told you who it was!) ahead of time. Leave a sock, lose a sock. Then, when the socks are all gone we would go to Wally World and they would use their own money to buy their socks. This has been going on for the past few months and .... yep, there are very few socks around here, but hey, no big deal cuz ---- no one cares!!! Now let me give the oldest son some credit -- he doesn't leave his socks around any more. He's become more of a neatnik the last few months (sigh of relief). And, let me give the middle son some credit. He isn't leaving his socks around, either. That's cuz HE HAS NO SOCKS LEFT! He's been sockless for a couple of months now and his shoes are reeking!! So the blame totally goes onto the baby, I mean, youngest son. He still manages to have socks --- which makes one question who's socks he's been stealing? No wonder son #2 has stinky shoes. Anyway, the time has come to adjust the plan. Son #2 is going through a can of odor eater spray a week. Son #3 is getting ready to be harmed -- really, my-last-nerve (no matter how cute he is!).
So here it is: a dollar a sock. Not per pair, but per sock. Now, you need to know that son #3 is a tight-fisted millionaire. OK, he's not a millionaire but he does have a few hundred bucks stashed around here. And he has quite a bit tied up in stocks. Seriously. The kid went to his dad months before the Wii came out and insisted that he wanted to buy shares in Nintendo, saying that the stocks were going to go sky high. Got to give him credit -- the little business brain has made us over $8,000 so far (we had to buy shares in order to get some for him). Loves to hold on to money -- socks, not so much.
So I informed him today that he had half an hour to search this house and uncover every sock stashed. Thirty minutes. Then it was my turn. A dollar a sock. And dang if he didn't find every single one. Well, so far.
Part two of my plan is to go to Wally World and buy everyone new socks (they all 3 wear those white anklet socks. whatever.). I'm going to come home, open the packages and write each son's name on the bottom of each of their socks. Big. In all caps. And black magic marker. From now on, I'll know who's sock has been stashed and that child will have to fork over a dollar. Per sock. Either those boys will keep their socks on or I'll have a lot of pocket money! Maybe I'll start buying lotto tickets with all of my dollars! Wow -- this could be a very good thing! ........ I'll keep you posted.