Football is killing me

Alright, what's wrong with me?! These middle school football games bring out the worst in me!! I sit there watching our teeny, tiny team (cuz compared to the brutes they played last week and today they are very small!) getting trounced yet again and all I can think about is going home to see if we have any scotch -- and I don't even like scotch!. But, since hubby is, at this very moment, presiding over a school board meeting I think he'll need the scotch worse than I do when he gets home --- wine will have to do.
When one hulking monster from the other team face-masked (at least I'm learning stuff!) one of our little guys it took a lot of inner strength for me and about 17 other parents to not charge the field and knock that ruffian on his butt! And the ref never saw it (or at least he didn't call it).
I go from rage at the injustice imposed by the opposing team, whose birth certificates I'd LOVE to see, to huge frustration that our guys seem to get the ball and then fall face down on the field. Someone really should explain the idea of running with the ball and avoiding the big guys. But I guess if I was the little person with the football I, too, would drop down and play dead rather than be buried under a pile of sweaty, stinky thugs.
Oh, don't comment in favor of the opposing teams. I'm sure that, off the field, they're all sweet and charming and adorable. But on the field, they are the enemy of my son and therefore the enemy of me (isn't that from ancient Greek or something?).
On the home front -- I have decided that I must be missing a piece of my brain. It has moved far beyond, "I don't get them". I'm not sure what it has moved to, but the stupidity of the actions of some of the opposite sex species in my house has left me speechless. I will not go into detail here, to protect the not-so-innocent, but suffice it to say that, just when you think everyone is finally growing up and maturing and becoming responsible, you are laid flat out by the stunning fact that they are not. I have come to the conclusion that my brain must be missing something that their brain contains. If I had this piece then I'd totally understand the inner workings of the male human. I think a study should be conducted on this theory. You could win a Nobel prize if you figured out this conundrum! Actually, what it boils down to is this: God puts us together but makes sure that we spend a lifetime trying to "get" each other. He has one wicked sense of humor.