This is Jim with his youngest brother and his wife at Daughter #1's graduation. That was a happy weekend. The pictures make me smile. I love this man. So. Much. Sometimes I wonder how you can love and miss someone so much and still survive. I wonder.
My aunt and uncle drove in today. My mom's oldest brother and his wife. I love them and am so grateful that they came to share this weekend with us. So grateful.
I continue to feel blessed. I don't understand God's mind and I know I never will. It's not mine to understand. But I know, in spite of the pain and the loss and the grief, that I am blessed. And sometimes there is a pin point of light ahead of me. I think it will slowly become bigger than a pin point. I pray that it will.
Son #1 graduates in 2 days. I am excited for him. Not so much for me, but it's him that I concentrate on. There were some days when I wondered why God smote ...... I mean, blessed .... us, with so many children. Now I know why. He has perfect wisdom. I need all 6 of them. I am excited for their futures and for what God has in store for each of them.
The shock of the tattoo is passing. I love it more and more with each passing hour. I can't express what it means to have Jim's signature as a physical part of me. I love looking at it. Anyone who ever received a note from him will instantly recognize it. He was a great note-writer. He grew into that.
I got my gown yesterday for Saturday night. My preggers penguin gown. Hopefully I'll pull it off. I love the orange and black collar. Go pokes!
Jim's brother, sister-in-law and their daughter arrive tomorrow. Then my dad comes on Saturday. I will be surrounded with love and support, as will Son #1.
What more can you ask for in life? Love and support.
God is good. All of the time -- whether we feel it or not.
Trust me.
5 comments:
I will look at you on stage Saturday with great pride as you wear your orange and black and I will also be bursting with love and pride as I watch both of our boys graduate, along with many other wonderful students. I pray for God to give you his strength because I can only imagine how difficult all of this is without Jim. Just keep looking at your wrist and know how much you are loved by Jim and so many others. I am so happy so many family members are here this weekend for #1 son and for you. I adore your mom and am so excited she is moving here! Love you all!
You are so cool J! I can imagine you looking at the tat on your wrist and smiling. I love your humor and wit and you have a heart after God's own. May He continue to bless you and all of your family all the days of your lives through all moments up and down :)
Ok...how are the tattoos??? Are they at the "scab" stage or the "itchy" stage???!!!!
AARRGGG!!! Just wait!!!
I get light headed just thinking of them tattooing over that vein on the underside of our wrists!! eewwww!! What was that like??!!!
Now THAT I couldn't do!
Say "hello" to everyone for us!
Wish we could be there. So MUCH!
Maybe someday.
I was so happy to read your words today. You are blessed, beyound words. You are also a strong person and from reading your blog it seems as though May has been unexpetedly a some what ok month. Not as bad a first thought. God does work in mysterious ways and hopfully soon your pin light will become a flash light (you can see much better with one of those!) Anyway, reading your blog this morning had started it off just right. This is going to be a good Friday. Thank you. I love you so much and of course wish I was there with the family. Tell everyone hi and hugs and kisses from way up here in Indiana. Miss you!
First of all I need to say that I am at my computer shedding many tears that Son #1 is graduating. Happy tears. I love him and that whole crazy CTK class of his. They hold a special place in my heart.
Second, you are so blessed to have so many people in your life who love you so dearly. Not only do they love you but they are racing in to hold you when you need it most. You have great family and friends. They really rock.
On the days when I am wretchedly (is that a word?)angry at God for Mom not being around, I always seem to be bombarded by women in my life. God has blessed me with many, many women to share happy moments and sad ones too.
My heart breaks for you that you have to face the day, every day, without Jim. I am so thankful though that God has surrounded you with so much support and love. They will help the pinhole of light to grow for you.
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