Ask Me Wednesday!!

Yes, it's Wednesday.  And yes, in spite of the really crappy week I've had and the stress that is wracking my body as I type this ....... I will answer the questions of my lovely, inquisitive readers.  Cuz that's just the kind of thoughtful, self-less, kind, giving person that I am.

OK, that even made ME throw up a little in my mouth.  Ick.

     Before I start I want to say thanks again for all of your prayers and encouragement.  I hope that tomorrow goes as well as can be expected .... even though my expectations at this point are not too high.  I will have to rely on the expectations, love and prayers from the rest of you.  God and I are kind of in time out at the moment.  

     And while, yes, I can see that it was better not to be poked in the hip by someone who isn't really sure where, or what, he's poking ..... and yes, I can see that it's MUCH better that I will be on IV sedation ...... it still TOTALLY sucks.  All of it.  Every bit of it.  And I, for one, am tired of the suckiness.  I am tired of being the poster child of a female Job.  

I.  Am.  Tired.

Strike that ...... I.  Am.  Weary.  

And I'm not sure how much weariness one person can take ..... nor how long one person can keep being weary, before she doesn't anymore.  

And that, I suppose, remains to be seen.

     I had my Circle time tonight.  Those women, very much like this blog, are a life-line for me.  Even as we continue to expand and have more women join us, we continue to grow closer and share more.  And I'm more thankful for them than is possible to describe.  They are amazing and I love them.  Thank you, ladies, for tonight.  Thank you for a break from the weariness and thank you for rooting for me .... tomorrow and every day.

     So ..... on to the questions, which, may I just say ...... were of a different sort this week.

But I said I'd answer (most of the time) so off we go ......

My sister, D, asks:
Ok, the question I have... is Julie your little sis from college? And is A, sister in law A?

You are close, D, but no cigar.  Julie was one of my pledge sisters in college.  I loved her then and I love her now.  She has always had the gift of making me laugh.  I wish she lived closer to me.

And yes, A, is my sister-in-law A.  Most of the time.  

I also have a friend A who used to post so it would be a bit confusing.  I don't think she posts any more, or she posts and I just assume it's A from Big D.  So for now, assume that all "A" posts are from my sis-in-law and if my friend A is reading this .... and ever wants to post .... she will have to add an initial or at least an initial for her town.  

Or .... they can just keep me confused, which might be of more interest to both of them.

Wendee and Susan asked pretty much the same question:  Why am I stressed about this procedure, especially since I've had 6 kids and had the pain of childbirth?

Ummmmmm, because I am a wimp?

No ..... here's the deal ..... the pain of childbirth (and no, there is no other physical pain that compares.  I've had a kidney stone and don't listen to any wimp of a man who tries to tell you that it's worse than pushing a baby out of your body.  That.Is.A.Lie) is an all-together different kind of pain.

It is a  pain that isn't wasted.  You have to get through the pain to get the most amazing gift in the world.  You don't get that gift with any other pain.  It's just pain.

And, as an aside, in my own very humble opinion, the epidural is God's very, very best medical inspiration known to man.  I've done it with .... and without ........ and there's no contest.  

     The stress also comes from not really wanting to be fully present while someone is digging into my body, even though it may be numbed with a local.  The local doesn't touch the stress and the discomfort of the pressure and whatever occurs.  I'd much rather be loopy and relaxed, which has got to be more helpful for the doctor who's doing the digging, don't you think?!

     And no, the "C" word has nothing to do with it.  I'm not even there yet.  If that is what comes from this (and truthfully, the way the last 13 months have gone, I will be pretty surprised if it doesn't come from this) then I will deal with that stress at that time.

I don't have enough energy left in my body to worry about the next thing.

One "thing" at a time ..... for me, anyway.  Evidently, not so much for God.

Nat asks:

What does your new job include at the church?  And part 2 of my question - what do you enjoy about your new position?

Kudos to you, Nat, for asking a better question this week, but what makes you think I'm going to let you have a 2 parter?!  Sheesh ..... give someone an inch ......

:)

     My job changed in October.  I used to be the Director of Missions.  Now I am the Director of Care Ministries.  Huge difference.  Huge "before" and "after" change.

I am in charge of our Grief Share support group ministry, our Divorce Care support group ministry, Stephen's Ministry (which provides care for all kinds of people who just need someone to talk to during difficult times in their life), our ACTS ministry, which provides meals, household help, transportation, etc. to people who need help during difficult periods in their life.  Those are the main ministries, though more could be added later.  We shall see.

      And what do I enjoy about it?  Hmmmmm, well, I guess I'd have to say that I enjoy letting people know they are not alone and that they're not crazy and that I can validate their feelings and their grief by saying ..... "I'm so very sorry" .... and "What you are having to go through now TOTALLY sucks!".  

     It's kind of like the enjoyment I got out of being a mentor mom for MOPS ..... I enjoyed being open and truthful with young moms and letting them know that they are NOT bad mothers because they sometimes don't enjoy their children.  Heck, sometimes they don't even LIKE them!  And that's OK.

And of course, I love the people I work with and I need them in my life.

Mary asks:

As a mom with a teenage son, I have a question on sons and girls - have you encountered a situation where your son was infatuated with someone you knew was not a good influence, and could definitely lead to trouble?  How did you handle this?

      Hmmmmmm, I would have to say .... not really.  Not seriously involved with someone like that.  Not yet anyway.

But if I were to imagine it, I think it would go something like this .....

I would question him a bit about why he liked her, what they enjoyed doing together and what, if anything, he (or she) thought about the future.  What are her goals?  What are his?  Because maybe, in answering those questions ... he would hear the answer himself ..... that they don't quite fit together.

     But maybe he wouldn't hear that .... he wouldn't figure it out.

     Then I think that my job would be to keep my mouth tightly shut.  Because we all know what's likely to happen when a parent tries to stop a relationship ...... it continues on ... harder and faster than it would have if she'd kept her mouth shut.

So I'd be quiet .... and I'd pray a lot.  

     I have told my daughters that if they fall in love with someone I'm totally sure is not the best person for them .... they will never hear me say it.  I do not want to be the one who drives them into the arms of the wrong person .... just for spite.

Because once you say something ..... it is never forgotten.  If if the happy couple decides to wed ..... they will both know that you did not care for one of them.  Always.

So ... that's my policy.  For good or bad .... it is what it is.

Anonymous asks a very strange question ..... to me, anyway, and I find it quite humorous that Anon was too chicken to post his/her initials or ID on the comment:

When will you know you are ready to love again?

Oh.For.Crying.Out.Loud.   How in the world does someone know that?  I didn't know that when I met Jim.  It just happened.  

I have no idea.  None,  Zip.  Nada.  

How am I supposed to know that now?  

     What I can tell you is this ...... the thought of loving someone else used to make me sick to my stomach ..... nauseating, feel like throwing up sick ..... at just the thought.

And now, though I am nowhere near ready for that ..... it doesn't make me feel sick to think about it happening one day.

So I guess ..... if it's supposed to happen some day ..... it will.  

But not for a very long while.

Oh, my sister, D, also asked me if I was re-doing something else and didn't tell her.

Yes.  And no ..... Miss R.E.T.

My plan is to rip the carpet out of every room in this house and then put in another kind of floor.

I'm sure it'll be a couple of months before anything is done.

     And, since Julie lives in Tulsa now, I doubt that she'll be showing up with her shovel tomorrow morning.  

     And Tamara is so glad to be out of the house and away from her two adorable children, that I doubt she'll come and kick anyone anywhere (though she is more than welcome!).  

OK, I think that's all of the questions.  

Again, and as usual, if I forgotten to include one of your questions, please e-mail me and let me know.  I promise to address it quickly and it will hopefully show up in that day's post.  

It is now 11:50 p.m., which means I have 10 minutes left in which to eat and/or drink whatever I want before the clock strikes midnight and I am turned into a hungry, thirsty pumpkin.

My lovely friend J, who evidently has no life outside of taking me to medical appointments .... God bless her, is picking me up at 7:00 a.m. to head down to the med center.  We will be joined by my friend/boss/pastor, who will have a calming effect on me ..... and also seems to have nothing better to do.  

I.  Am.  Blessed.

But still in time out.  

So please keep praying and please keep commenting your encouraging words.  I will have my life-line phone with me so that I can continue to read and post your comments.  I will have it with me until they pry it from my cold, drug-induced fingers.

I will Twitter when I can (see right side of blog).

I shall see you tomorrow ...... at least, that's my plan.