Hey, I take it where I can get it.
In telling you about my nap experience yesterday, or rather - my non-nap experience, I left something out.
Last night my friend and I were watching a movie called "The Visitor". A small, newish movie who's leading actor has been nominated for an Academy Award. He did a great job. It was a good movie ...... though I hesitate to use the word "good". OK, it was good. It was a bit uplifting, and then it also was not.
ANYWAY, there was a scene that made my heart cry.
A woman, who is very, very lonely, sad, scared, depressed, etc, knocks on the door of the leading man's bedroom during the night (they are new friends, have only been friends, and it is his apartment). He tells her to open the door, she does. She sticks her head through the door and looks at him. He looks at her. In those looks I could feel every bit of her pain, loneliness, sadness, fear, grief, etc. She slowly walks into the room ..... he moves back from the edge of the bed and lifts the blankets for her to crawl in next to him. And she does. She lays down, facing away from him and he wraps the blankets and his arms around her and she cries. And cries. And cries.
It's not sexual, though it's apparent that they do love each other ..... but he doesn't turn it into anything other than what it is ...... a moment for her to be held, protected, secure, heard and taken care of.
And after my non-nap experience that very day, it touched me to the depth of my soul.
So there you go ..... another glimpse into the bottom of my soul.
That may be all for today.
I just finished 'The Shack" discussion post.
I was blessed at church again today ..... by the people in my class and by my friend's wonderful message.
I've had a draining week.
I'm glad that I was blessed today ..... maybe that will help make tomorrow, and the current wait, less draining.
I wonder if I could find a doctor who'd be willing to put me into a drug-induced coma? Not for long ....... maybe a month? Or six?
Just enough to wake up one day and feel ...... rested.
Let me know ..... I'd be willing to cough up big bucks for that.
6 comments:
Somewhere in the Bible it says if two lie down together, they will keep warm, but one does not stay warm alone.Thank you for daring to be so vulnerable with your words about missing Jim's embrace.
You have had a very draining, on the edge, screaming into the pillow, angry enough to punch a doctor who is an ass, and fear-filled week. To wait for an unknown diagnosis, alone, without the man who held you for so many years...such pain ...
We who peer into your life through this blog silently wait with you. We are humbled to know the person you show yourself to be.
Please God let the wait end soon and with hopeful news!
JB
Good afternoon my darling daughter. I'm glad you were blessed at church again today. I know right now it's very few and far between times you feel that. I hurt for you so much. I wish I had a magic pill that would give you the rest you need. I wish...
I love you so. I will continue to pray for you and the peace you deserve. I wish I had the power to give that to you also. My tears come often because I can't help you. I HATE THIS FEELING OF HELPLESSNESS AND HOPELESSNESS. But I continue to pray. I love you.
I know. i understand. I've been there....and still am.
Donna from Australia
Hello, Donna from Australia,
Thank you for dropping by and thank you even more for letting me know you're out there ..... with me.
such a sweet post. and soooo brave of you, each time you sit down to post, to pour out your soul and be so transparent and vulnerable.
i have little to offer you other than the ability to carry your mat. i awoke this morning at 4:15, restless, and unable to sleep. i prayed that you were sleeping and that you were having a restful slumber. and if not when i prayed, then hopefully soon. because beyond just the waiting, i'm praying for peace for you, for strong arms to hold you.
i have no idea what your circumstances feel like, i am nowhere near your situation. but i know our Father, and if nothing else, i can walk alongside you and pray. and i am.
blessings to you today,
purejoy.
J, the thought came to me today that the results of your biopsy must be benign. If the results were less than favorable I believe that you would have been notified ASAP. (The word 'lawsuit' comes to mind for failure to notify within a reasonable time) If results are negative, benign or normal, they usually get pushed to the bottom of the pile as far as priority goes. Maybe now that you are not as 'interesting', the doctor has lost all interest. In my heart I truly feel that it is benign.
Post a Comment