Who needs a therapist ....

.... when you have this,

and this,

and three good friends who will spend a beautiful morning playing tennis with a friend who can't quite keep up (but who hopefully will soon!) for two hours (plus a tennis coach who is gracious enough to be kind when hitting the balls to me to make sure I didn't have to move much).

   Today was my mental health day .... and it was VERY much needed.  After tennis we all went to one's house for lunch and some video watching.  So very nice.

     The only mar in the day was when I called my doctor's office this morning.  I wanted to make an appointment to see her to talk about pain management and what else I could be doing, so that the pain is better and that the pain stops leading to depression -- especially at night when the pain, and the depression, is much worse.

     The woman who answers the phone told me that I could not be seen until April 21st.  Really?!  Seriously??!!  Yep.

I told her that I was in intense pain and that depression was getting bad.  She told me that if it got to the point of me doing something drastic, to call her and she'd try to fit me in the following morning.  

I informed her that it has already been to that point in the past week, and that although it was better today ..... at the moment I was talking to her, it tends to get worse at night ..... when her office would be closed.

Yeah ..... well ..... ummmmmmm ..... she pretty much ignored that and repeated what she had already said.  I tried to get her to "hear" me a bit longer and then just gave up and took the April appointment, which I later cancelled.

     If it weren't so tragic it would be freakin' hilarious, wouldn't it?  Tragedy/Comedy ..... this is my life.

     Fortunately for me ...... my doctor knows me a bit better than the average patient and she had given me her cell phone # last year, when the depression first set in after Jim died and it was very bad.

     So, after some encouragement from a wonderful encourager, I texted my doctor and asked if I could e-mail her with my questions ..... because of the pain, depression and because I'm flying blind here as to what to expect in all of this.  My surgeon gave me zero information about healing time, pain, anything.  I have been clueless.

    My cell phone rang in less than 30 minutes.  I love my doctor.

She has read the reports and knew much more than I did about the surgery and the results.  She was horrified to read how much more involved this all was and what a huge ordeal it was, and will continue to be.  She could tell me why the pain is so bad (the whole scraping of the bone thing, as well as the muscle being cut in two) and how long to expect some degree of pain (at least 6 months).  She told me what meds to add, what she would prescribe and that she wants to see me in a week or so.

Yay. For. Her.

     So .... I am encouraged --- even though I now know this will affect me much, much longer than I had anticipated ---- because at least I understand it better now, know what to expect and know that she will help me to keep the pain under control, which will hopefully help with the depression.

   Encouragement is good.  So very, very good.

And on that note ..... I must update you on Son #2, who was home for spring break last week.

He is doing amazingly well.

A. Maze. Ing. Ly.

He is a different person than he was in December.  It's like night and day.  He was happy and talkative and animated and ..... wonderful.

He still doesn't want to be there, but knows that he'll be home for good in 10 more weeks if he can just keep his grades up.  So far, so good.

I am so thankful that God gave me the strength to stick with this ..... to not cave in and let him come home.  

He would not be the young man he is today had I caved.

I am so proud of him ..... as is Jim.

So ..... a good day.

And .... a good evening.  Son #3 and I went to have dinner with some very good friends and it was a very nice evening.

I am thankful for every-single-good-hour in my life.

So thankful.

And .... in my never ending quest for things that will make you smile ...... 

THIS is why this adorable, loving, wonderful horse/dog no longer sleeps in my room.

Enjoy.

:)