I Want to Feel "Normal" .....

.... and yes, of course, that is a relative term.
But it's been so long since I've felt any semblance of "normal" ..... I really, really miss it.

What a very strange day this was.

Michael Jackson.
There's not a lot more I can add to those two words, is there?
I remember that he was the first "boy celebrity" that I had a crush on ..... way back when. Back when he, too, appeared to be "normal".
I liked him.
I liked his songs.
I liked his dancing.
I remember Daughter #1, at the age of 2, dancing to "Beat It" .... or at least trying to dance/moon walk, to it. Headband on her head ...... singing her little heart out. Back when "Thriller" was still a huge hit ..... years after it came out.
I am so sad tonight.
Sad for the lost soul that he appeared to be.
Sad for the little boy that I had a crush on in 6th grade.
Sad for the man who never seemed to feel that he could not wear a mask.
Sad for his children, because they, like mine. no longer have their "normal".

It feels as if the world is spinning out of control.
Or is that just me?

Tonight my orthopedic doctor called to chat with me and see how I was doing.
And to tell me that I can not play tennis for another 3 weeks, at which time he will have me come in and evaluate the inflamation and fluid build-up.
I was supposed to play in a match tomorrow.
And though it may seem so incredibly shallow to many people .... I am crushed.
For me, tennis is such a huge release of stress. It's just as much a mental need as it is a physical one. And it also meets a social need.
I know, in my brain, that this is a good decision. My hip still hurts, though it's better than it was when I came back from Russia.
But my heart and my soul really, really miss tennis.

Tomorrow I go to pick up Son #2 from camp. I haven't heard from him all week, so I'm hoping that he had a blast.
Next week, Son #2, Son #3 and I will go on vacation. My mom is coming in to stay with the livestock and to keep some kind of order in the house. Bless her heart.
I think that I will have to take my computer with me to Disney World ..... I cannot be unconnected from my Peeps for more than a couple of days. One of us will crack. Most likely .... me. Although I have noticed that many of you start to crack if I do not post on a regular basis.
You warm my heart. More than you know.

I am looking forward to this vacation ..... and I am also dreading it ..... very, very much.
The two sons and I are doing 3 days at Disney World and then a 4 night Disney Cruise. The last time I was on a cruise was the day after Jim's funeral.
I am not looking forward to spending most of my time alone, knowing full well that the Sons will be kept busy (and hopefully happy) with all of the teenage activities that are offered.
I'm looking forward to relaxing, but not looking forward to not having Jim sitting in the lounge chair next to me ..... where he always was.
It will be a very different, and I suspect, somewhat difficult, vacation. Just three of us .... rather than eight.
But who knows what/who God has in store for each of us? I hope to be open to meeting people ... to making new friends ..... to enjoying whatever time the Sons will give me.

I will have to come up with some really "dandy" questions to keep all of you occupied. I will try to post at least a couple of times ..... just so that you don't have to suffer from the symptoms of withdrawl. But I'm not sure how that will work.
We shall see.

I don't leave until the end of next week .... so don't start stressing about it yet. But ..... if you have any suggestions for some wonderfully-conversation-inducing questions .... please let me know.
I like to keep my Peeps happy.
And I certainly don't want any of you getting bored and becoming someone else's Peeps while I'm gone.
I mean ..... how incredibly shallow would that be?!!!

That's all for tonight, Peeps. I have a full day tomorrow .... driving.
Yes, I know. It's more excitement than most of you can stand.
Try not to be jealous.
Two hours to camp.
A few hours in the 100-plus heat, admiring all things camp-like, and then two hours back.
Mother. Of. The. Year.

If I do not post tomorrow you will know that I am too busy with my heat stroke mothering responsibilities, to write a post.

Have a happy Friday, Peeps.
You deserve it.

:)