Ask Me Wednesday!!

Happy Wednesday, Peeps.

Well, I signed the Will.  Made the additions and corrections, swore I was of sound mind (?!), and over the age of 18 (???!!!), yada, yada, yada.

My friend, J, made the drive with me.  Thankfully.

It was good to have someone to talk to .... about things other than the reason for the drive.

Plus I didn't fall asleep until after 3 am last night/this morning, so it was nice to have someone to keep me awake.

The whole appointment was far less painless than my last visit with my attorney .... which was when we went over our Will after Jim died.

But it was still ...... stomach lurching.

But it is done.  And I am relieved.  And thankful.

I have a very kind attorney.  Jim liked him a lot.  And trusted him.  And so do I.

So that is done .... until I decide at some point to change my mind about something.

A woman's prerogative and all that ......

The boys and I are packed and ready for the trip.  Mostly.  I think.

They are ready.  I am trying to be ready.

I am of two minds ..... and really have been for 18 months.  I'd like to have one mind, but it doesn't seem to work that way.

I'm looking forward to relaxing and roller coasters.

I am not looking forward to alone time on that ship.

And to seeing so many fathers.

Not.  At.  All.

But for now ..... I will not think about that today.

I'll just be Scarlett O'Hara for a while.

Without the 19 inch waist.

And the flock of males.

My mom is hanging out with the horse/dog and the wildcats.  She is a wonderful Mom.  I am very grateful to her ..... and for her.  I wish I'd had more this when the kids were small .... but it wasn't possible.  I'm just thankful that it is now ..... when I need her more than I can say.  And more than I tell her.  

Thanks, Mom.  I love you.

Very, very much.

So good news, Peeps ..... I will have internet access in my room on the ship (as well as at the resort itself) so my 
lifeline computer will be packed in my bag.

Which means more good news for you ..... I will refrain from asking you a question tonight.

But don't get too comfortable .... I may still ask one, or four, at some point during the next week.

OK ..... on to the questions:

Anon #1 asks:
When you are tired at D-world: just sit? get on a slow, empty ride? push through the tiredness?

Who do you hope is in the finals (men & women, singles and doubles) at Wimbledown, and why?

What do you expect to experience at the Conference in San Diego? Will you be connecting with widows you've only meet online?

Dear Anon #1,

You ask a lot of questions!  Which is a good thing!

So for #1:  The answer to that one will probably be .... all of the above.  I will most likely sit at some points and let the sons wander.  I may also just stay at the pool at the hotel and let them run around the parks for a while (and then hit the roller coasters at night with them) ..... and I'm sure I will definitely try to push through the tiredness on several occasions.  I am just going to play it by ear.  But they both know that I may lag behind, which doesn't seem to make them sad at all.  Son #2 will be way too busy checking out "babes" to notice if I am walking beside him.

As for the finals of Wimbledon ...... I would like to see Serafina (or however you spell Marat Safin's sister's name) go to the finals, but I'm really not that into it this year to care a huge amount.

As for the men ..... Roger Federer is my choice.  I would absolutely love to see him win the Grand Slam ..... he deserves it.  He makes tennis look like a beautiful art when he plays.  And I hear that he is a wonderful and giving person.  So he gets my vote.

And .... it doesn't hurt that he's easy on the eyes.  But that would sound too shallow so I won't say it.

As for the Conference ..... what do I expect?  I expect a mask-free weekend and one filled with laughter and tears.  And I cannot wait to meet many of the women I've met on line.  Truly.  I think it will be amazing.

MJD asks:
Question: When was the first time you knew you had the gift of writing? What books are you reading on the trip?

Dear MJ,

I'm not sure that I have yet accepted that I have a "gift".  I would never have said that .... even if asked, before Jim died.  It wasn't until well after he died that I started "hearing" people say that I was doing a good job ..... that my words spoke to people.

This is all quite new to me ..... Daughter #1 has always had the gift of writing ... and Jim and I were thrilled to encourage her in this ..... from the time her 4th grade teacher (who is now a dear friend) told her, and us, that she was amazingly talented at writing.  I was happy to encourage her, and wondered where it came from.

I am taking the book, "The Help" (I think that's the title) with me to read on the cruise, as well as some historical novels and "Twilight" downloaded, as well as some "beach reads" ..... which just means "fluff that will distract and entertain me".

Anon #2 asks:
What is your all time favorite recipe? Do you have a favorite tv show? And how is baby Stellan doing?

Wow .... my all-time favorite recipe?  I'm not sure.  I have a great spaghetti sauce recipe that my wonderful friend, V, gave to me when D2 and D3 were born and she came to Chicago to help us out.  The kids love it.

I love most mac and cheese recipes ...... as well as mustard potato salads.

But since I am pooped and not willing to look up any recipes at the moment ... I will have to ponder this one.  

Oh ..... I do have an AMAZING black bean/corn relish recipe that my friend A gave me ..... it is to die for.  Really.  

Someone remind me ..... I'll share that one (unless A shoots me, or tells me not to).

Favorite TV show?  Hands down ..... 100 % ..... "30 Rock".  I LOVE THAT SHOW.  It never fails to make me laugh out loud.  It's going with me on the cruise .... to make me laugh when I feel lonely.

As for Baby Stellan .... it's been a couple of rough weeks.  He was back in the hospital last week, but the last time I checked he was back home.  It's only a matter of time before he will have to have surgery, though they are trying ... and praying .... to postpone it as long as possible to get him older and bigger.

Please keep praying for all of them.

And thanks for asking.  :)


Tamara asks:
What is your favorite thing at Disney World besides the Aerosmith roller coaster? Do you have some good books to take with you on the trip? Like, good escape books. Not books about work or self help; novel type books. 

Dear Tamara,

Well, the Rockin' Roller coaster is hands down my favorite.  Other than that ..... I guess it would be Tower of Terror.  There is a newer roller coaster at Animal Kingdom that I have to ride .... I think it's called the Himalaya, or something like that, and I hear it's good.  I think there's also a newer space-themed coaster.

I love any roller coaster ...... except for the ones that shake your head all over the place and slam it into the bars.

I also like the ones that drop you down very fast ...... So. Very. Cool.

I guess it's the rush.  

It's a bit sick ...... but I love it!

As for your book question, see MJ's question above.  And thanks for the offer of a good book .... I should have read your question earlier to take advantage!  Since our flight is at 7:30 a.m. I won't make you come over and bring it.

That's how much I love you.

:)


Shelley asks:
red or white wine? Do you have a favorite kind/brand?

Hi Shelley!

Red ..... but only after I saw the movie "Sideways".  Really.  Sounds ridiculous, I know, but I didn't like red wine before that movie.  It made me want to try it more and give it a chance.  And now I rarely drink white.

I love pinot noirs, shiraz and red zins.  Nothing too dry.  I enjoy Kendall Jackson pinots, as well as their shiraz.


W asks a very, very difficult one!
What would you do if you hypothetically had a four-year-old child who didn't respond to any form of punishment? Repeated, always consistent consequences, time-outs, taking away of toys ... all toys sometimes, and nothing phased your hypothetical child. What would you do if this child thanked you for time-outs and thanked you for yelling? And finally, what would you do if you had a child that responded to punishment by saying things like, "That's okay. I know God loves me. And he loves you too, even though you're punishing me?" Just curious.
Dear W:

Oh my goodness.  Are you raising Son #2????!!!!!

This is definitely a hard one.  And the only answer I have is to keep looking for what pushes his button.  There IS something ..... it will just take a lot of work and time to find it.

There is something that he cares about more than anything else ..... you just have to find what it is ..... and then use it.

I would also say that it might work better to use positive reinforcement with him.  Catch him doing good things and reward him for that.  I used a fishbowl ..... and marbles.  When I would catch the kids (mostly Son #2) doing something good, I would toss in a few marbles ..... letting them/him know, of course, and praise them/him.  When the fishbowl became full, something really good would happen, which was agreed upon before hand.  Like, going to a movie, or going to McDonald's and everyone got a Happy Meal, or something like that.  So it became a group effort, even if it was just aimed at one particular child.  That seemed to work better for him than discipline.  

But you still need to keep working at finding what he truly loves above all else.  It takes time .... and can be very frustrating, but it's there.  Trust me.

And good luck.

Hypothetically, of course.

:)

Carrie asks:
Hmmm...thinking of a question for you... when your kids were small, who handled most of the discipline for your kids - did you spank them & Jim, too, when he was there or just him when he got home? (or maybe you didn't spank, I don't know, but we do, so that's just an example). We both spank our little one, but my hubby's spankings are much more effective than mine. :)

Hi Carrie!

Well, since I was the parent who was home most of the time .... it was me.  Unless it was a day that was too much for me .... and then I would turn it over to him.  But I really tried to never use the "just wait until your father gets home" phrase on the kids.  I didn't want Jim to be the bad guy when he came home from work.  I knew he didn't want that ..... and I didn't want him to be seen as that. 

If something big happened, I would call him at work to let him know what was going on and what I thought we should do, and ask for his input.  We needed to always be on the same page.  As the boys got older I often just let him handle many of the discipline issues with them.  

And yes, we spanked ...... but with certain children, it was very less than effective.  With others .... all I had to do was look angry and they'd break down in tears.  You have to find what works best with each child .... which is a lot of work, but that's our job as parents.  It's definitely not for cowards.  :)

OK, Peeps ..... I have to get up at 5:15 in the a.m.

So I am going to hit the hay.

I will write to you from Disney World .... and hopefully share some photos.

If you happen to be at Disney .... look for me .... and the sons.

Or if you happen to be on the Disney Cruise starting on Sunday .... look for me.

I'll be the woman stationed at the pool most of the day with a frozen drink glued to one hand ..... and a book glued to the other.

Thanks for the questions ..... and thanks for the prayers.  Please, please, please keep praying.

I want to enjoy this trip .... as much as I can.  I want to be able to stand through the waves .... which I know will threaten to knock me down and drown me.

I want to make good memories ..... in spite of missing Jim and wanting to throw in the towel with his absence.

I need your prayers.

Very, very much.

So thank you ahead of time ..... for the prayers and for your encouragement.  You are some of the most amazing people .... and I am constantly blessed and humbled by your words.

See you in Orlando!