Mixed Up Morning

I should be packing to visit my sister.

Wait.

Scratch that.

I should at LEAST be thinking of packing to go visit my sister.

After all, she lives where it is currently cold and may be a bit wet.

I live where it's cold here this morning and the temperature is 57 degrees.

Yes, that's cold for us.

I have lost the ability to pack for cold weather over the last 18 years.

My blood is thin (I don't care if that is a myth, I believe it!), my mind is muddled and I'm a weenie when it comes to being cold.

A huge weenie.

And probably, truth be told ...... a whiney weenie.

Though I will do my best to not whine (or curse) when I get to the windy city (where I lived and loved it ..... over 20 years ago).

My mind is muddled this morning because I've been going from one room to the next, starting one project and then getting distracted and ending up in another room. This drives me crazy. But today it did more than that.

Because this morning I some how got distracted when I went to pull out a suitcase to pack, and ended up in the back of that large closet, going through Jim's clothes (where I had stored a lot of them).

Yep.

I think that even if you've never lost a spouse, Peeps, you can somehow understand the emotions that would go along with that.

I have told my growing boys that they are welcome to wear their Dad's clothes if they'd like. So they, too, have gone through his clothes. Only they don't tend to put things back in place and so I sat back in that closet and took everything out, touched every T-shirt, remembering him wearing each one, re-folded everything and put it all neatly back in the boxes.

And I didn't cry.

Until later ..... just out of the blue.

Grief is so .... just so unpredictable.

You think you're doing OK one minute (though you learn to hate to think that because then you're looking over your shoulder for the next wave) and then suddenly you're not.

I'm OK .... it wasn't a huge wave. And though I still feel emotional about it, because it made me miss him all the more, I'm not drowning.

I'm just .... wishing.

OK ..... now that I've gotten that out of my system, it's time to get back up and muddle around the house some more.

I've forgotten what my last chore was supposed to be.

Oh yeah.

Thinking about packing.

I think I need an aspirin.

Wonder what will distract me on the way to get that?

I'll keep you posted .... if I remember.

Have a good Monday, Peeps.