I just came back from a funeral.
Jim's cousin lost 2 of her children last week in a tragedy. I didn't really know them, but had met them on a few occasions and they had been in a couple of groups with our kids. One was the same age as D#1, the other was the same age as D#2 and D#3. They had known them a bit.
Anway, I went to the funeral today.
I went to another funeral several years ago for this family ..... when the husband/father died.
So I sat there this morning with tears streaming down my face ..... not for me, but for her and everything she's gone through ..... alone.
She has a great family who support each other a lot, but she's still alone.
I could feel my heart tear for her this morning as I sat there. It's like the scab got pulled off again. I just wanted to grab her and hug her and not let go (which she would've found strange since she barely knows me).
I didn't see the magnitude of this coming ..... the huge feelings of compassion and empathy that caused me to hurt so much. Again .... this is hard to explain, but it wasn't for me or Jim or my kids ..... not for what we've lost, but for what she has lost ..... again. I cannot imagine her pain and the inky blackness that must be surrounding her. I wish I could've said something to help, but we all know that I couldn't. No one can. All I could do is hug her and tell her how horribly sorry I am.
It felt so pathetically small.
I think it's time for me to go wake up each of my children and give them a huge hug on this last day when we're all together.
They'll help the scab heal a bit.
:)
Please pray for this family, Peeps ..... thank you.
And Happy Tuesday.
7 comments:
Your empathy and compassion speak of your deep feeling for others and your love for them.
May God bless your day! (and your Zombie fighters too!) jybs
Janine - that is so awful! Can't imagine first losing your husband and then 2 of your children! The pain would seem to hard to bare! You hurt so much for her because you understand her pain! Bless you! Am praying for this family!
Love, Malinn
what a huge heart you have, janine. i'm sure you'll be a sweet comfort for her.
what an awful tragedy.
And you know, that is what people have been feeling for you as you've gone through YOUR tragedy. Heck, I don't know you at all and have felt such pain for you when I've read some of your entries. It's like ... empathy squared times a million. It's a helpless feeling, but I believe that any support you can lend her will make a difference. xo
I really appreciated Al's message this morning: "Nothing you can say will really be enough. But just being there is so imprtant" and you were there. That was so important. There is another piece to this puzzle that God showed me, today, why I was supposed to sing at this funeral. The mother of the deceased is in a relationship with a man who worked for me last year. He is a science teacher, and I believe he lost his son and his mother last year as well. So now, between them, they have lost a husband/father, three children and at least one parent in just the last few years. I am praying that the message of hope given today will help to diffuse the intesity of the darkness for these two families. I have also been praying for you and your family, that you would truly know God's presence when everything else seems so absent.
In Christ,
Aaron Tomhave
You are not wasting your sorrow. The Lord has worked a great deal of sympathy and empathy into your heart and He is going to use you big time in alot of lives. You probably will be one of the only ones who knows her that can really truly pray for her. He will hear you for her. Love on your children tonight...may your time be extra sweet with them before they all scatter again. Blessings, hugs and prayers..
Someone once told me that by experiencing the tragedy that I have in my life, I have been given the gift of empathy and compassion. Not everyone who goes through loss receives this gift. Well, there are times that I am glad I have been given it. When I have held a friend in my arms and had the sense to just be quiet, I have been glad. Othertimes, when I have felt the scab rip off and cried sobbing tears that led to chest heaving, I have felt that this is a really crappy gift that I would rather return.
I know that God is using you in the lives of so many and, while that has to be incredibly painful for you, you are such a blessing to so many...including me. I love you and I am grateful that you are allowing God to work through you and your pain. I have learned so much from you and I continue to watch and see how God is going to use you.
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