.... who you are now that you're not _____'s wife ....
.... who you are now that the kids are grown .....
.... if you matter ....
.... please, take a moment .... or four .... and go here to find out what a HUGE difference you can make.
I know what it feel like to wonder each one of those things.
I know what it feels like to wonder if this, this road of grief that seems only wide enough for one person, is all there is.
I know what it's like to not want to look into the future because when we do ..... all we see is a Valley of blackness.
I know what it's like.
And .... I know what it's like to come out of that Valley.
I don't think I'll ever face anything again in my life that will be as horrible, as debilitating, as horrific or as hard as that long, deep valley. Even typing those words brings tears to my eyes. I don't like going back there .... even if only in a thought.
But .... I also know that when I took a moment to pause in that Valley and look at something other than my grief, I found out that I .... a broken, grieving, hopeless mass of tears .... could make a difference in someone's life.
And it really didn't take much effort. Which, at that point in my life, was a very good thing.
When I made the decision to help someone else, someone much more helpless than me, a small, ever so thin crack appeared in the thick wall of grief that encased me. It was so small that I didn't notice it. It's only in looking back that I can see where the deterioration of that wall began.
It began when I looked into the eyes of two children, even though it was only through a photograph.
Two children who needed someone .... at a time when I felt I incapable of meeting the needs of myself, let alone anyone else.
But I fell for those eyes .... and for the children behind the eyes. And I made a difference. Fortunately for me, at that time, helping them took very little effort. Embarrassingly little.
Here are those two miracle children who began my long, long trek out of that Valley:
Sergio:
Gino Caroline
We've been in each others' lives for almost 4 years now. The first pictures I saw showed 2 much smaller children.
Two children who looked a little afraid.
Four eyes that revealed a lot of sorrow.
My eyes recognized sorrow.
So I decided to help them in the only way I could at that moment.
It wasn't a difficult decision, once I decided to look past my grief (which was difficult at that time).
It didn't take much effort.
In less than a month after I "adopted" them .... I found out something that caused another crack to appear in my grief:
I mattered.
Not because I was Jim's wife.
Not because I was the mother of 1 through 6.
But just because of .... me.
And a choice I made at a time when I was mostly unable to make choices.
I mattered.
Sergio and Gino Caroline told me so.
I know how it feels to know that even in the darkest dark of the Valley, you matter.
So please, go here and find out how little it takes .... to matter.
And you will find .... that doing something so simple to help someone else ..... helps you more.
I promise.
Happy Friday, Peeps.
I'm off to watch Son #1 graduate from college (which will be a joyful/tearful event .... I know most of you get that).
And then we'll be off to watch Daughter #3 sing and act. Both which she does amazingly well.
And that's not just because I'm her mom.
I promise.
:)
So I shall leave you with a discussion question. Don't you just love it when I do that?
Whatever. I like it.
Well, I like it if you all participate.
It's a huge bummer if that doesn't happen.
Don't be a bummer.
Give me a little joy. :)
OK, here it is:
1. Do any of you sponsor children through Compassion (or any other organization)?
If so, when did you start and what made you decide to do it?
2. Did any of you go check out the Compassion site after you read this post?
If so, did you decide to sponsor a child? Or are you considering it?
3. Do you have any questions about Compassion or sponsoring a child?
OK ..... discuss amongst yourselves, Peeps.
And Happy Friday.
:)
Janine,
ReplyDeleteI’ve never commented before, just lurked. I am not a member of "the club" thankfully but have a friend who is and found your site while trying to find a way to help her. In answer to your question (because I don't want to be a bummer) I am happy to say that yes, I have adopted a young girl named Angie through C I. I am sad that it took me so long to do it - one of those things you think about but just don't get to do it. I don't have any children but I have 2 special God Daughters who told me last year that instead of exchanging gifts for special occasions they would like to do something to help others instead - what great girls they are. I told them about CI and we chose our girl together. We have exchanged letters and photos and hope to continue to do so. I would encourage anyone to get involved. If you are grieving and even if you are not, it is tremendously rewarding and you're right - it (and you) matters!
Have a wonderful weekend - thanks for your touching posts!
Brenda
2 children from Compassion...One about a month older than Matt, who we got through KSBJ, and one from Kenya with the same birth date as Brianna, that Matt and Mark got at a concert when Matt wanted to adopt one and Mark said, "only if there's something unique about the person so we know we're supposed to take him/her." Then they handed them a card of this girl from Kenya with Brianna's birth date. guess some would call it coincidence :)
ReplyDelete2 children, but through Watoto , not Compassion. Our church had been involved with them for several years; and went on a trip to Uganda to build a home in their village. My husband desperately wanted to go but had relapsed. right after he died our church decided to take a second trip to Uganda and build in his name. My kids and I picked 2 children, one girl and one boy and have sponsored them for the past 3+ years. Felt like it was just a small thing we could do to honor something that he so wanted to be a part of. And like you Janine, getting those letters and pictures from the kids has made a huge difference to all of us. In fact, we are getting ready to return to Uganda in Feb 2013, and this time my 2 youngest will be traveling with me (last time was just me and my youngest daughter, the "baby", my only son and the 2 "big girls" stayed home). Yes I went to the Compassion site after reading your post. and so wish i could afford to sponsor more..........
ReplyDeleteI sponsor 2 children through C.I., both after my Jim died. During my husbands eulogy, one of his friends told a powerful story about Enoch from the bible and walking with God and his interpretation of my husband's walking with God. It was a very moving moment for everyone there. So about 4 months later, our church was having Compassion Sunday and I walked up to the table and there was child named Enoch from Uganda! That definitely felt like a message from Jim or God and he became my first child. Later that year at XMAS, Shaun Groves came and did a concert at a local church. I'm a big Shaun Groves fan, so I attended, not knowing Compassion International would be represented there. Again, I walked up to the table to look at the packets and the one that called to me was named Emmanuel from Tanzania. I thought it was cool to find a child named Emmanuel (God is with us) on XMAS, and figured he was meant to be my 2nd child. It's been over 3 years since my Jim died - and I am faithful in financial support for them, but not as good in emailing/sending letters. I really need to get better at that, thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteOur family has sponsored a CI boy Zachary's age since he was about 9 years old. Something we decided to do because we were able and blessed. We found out through Promisland at church. Just last year we were notified that he had left the program. It was kind of a bitter sweet thing. We will sponsor again when we can. It was a blessing. Saved all the letters and pictures, just like with our own son.
ReplyDelete