This is Just ......

...... amazing.

Utterly, sincerely ...... and astonishingly ...... amazing.

It shouldn't be, of course.  This should be just a fact of being with someone for the long haul.  It should be a given that every married couple will do this for each other.

Instead ...... it is ...... amazing.

My dear friend Sandi sent me this today.
And, although it really, truly amazes me ...... it leaves me mostly thinking, T.A.N.W.*

And so I leave it here, for all of you.  THIS is what you need to send to your spouse.  To the person you have pledged to be with ...... until death parts you.
To hopefully, the person who means more to you than anyone else on the face of this earth.

And if he/she doesn't ...... then I hope that you at least like him/her.
On some days.
:-)

Sandi, as I wrote up above, T.A.N.W.
Except that God certainly blessed you with a wonderful man.
But then, I don't have to tell you that, do I?

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
You've done a wonderful thing today by sharing this with me and letting me share this with them.
And I'm sure that each and every one of my Peeps thanks you.
From the bottom of their heart.
Love you, my friend.

Here is what she shared:


Hi Janine,
Read the very good advice in your blog regarding things you need to do before death affects your family. Lots of people put this off because it is time consuming in so many ways.
When my father-in-law died, T and I were there for my mother-n-law to help with all the necessary things. Same when my husband's brother died. There for my sister-in-law. Same thing for my sister when her husband died.
I told T,  "When I am going to need you the most, you won't be here (meaning his death , if he died first and that was a real possibility because he has heart issues) for me.
So a few months later (for Valentine's Day) he handed me a book, it was an "Upon My Death Book." It included something he wrote regarding grief. How he knew of it and how he wanted us to deal with it. It included a poem he wrote and wanted read. It also included the color of the casket (we have since picked it out and paid for it), what his wishes were regarding memorial handouts, going to church, going to the cemetery, military honors, flag on casket, cost of casket, vault, cost of the opening and closing of the grave (we have since paid for that~~which locks in the price when you do it).
The book also included how many death certificates I would need, pallbearers, whom to contact at work/with phone numbers, HR contacts and their numbers. How much life insurance from the company in different death scenerios, open/closed casket, visitation times, what he wanted in the obituary etc. Whom in the Family to notify with their phone numbers and he wrote, "Make a copy of this list and get someone to notify people for the family".
Then he told me to put this book in a place where it would always be~~so when something happened to him~~I would know right where to go, when I couldn't think clearly ... and it would all be there. It was the most loving thing he has ever done for me and I cried. To this day, it of course, needs periodic updating is such a comfort for me.
And then there were enough pages left, that I did the same for him. Including a couple of special songs I wanted at my memorial.
What a burden lifted. But this can not take the place of the very important advice you gave in your blog. We have always kept each other abreast of the financials in our lives and so many wives are not aware. It ended up hurting them. If they say they have life insurance, make them prove it. If they say they have thus in investments, make them prove it. Make each other accountable.
Thank You for doing such a loving service,
Sandi

I will be posting Part 2 of "What You Need To Know ......" as soon as I get the time to sit down and write for another hour.
I'm leaving for NY in a couple of days (Whoop and Double Whoop!), so have a lot to do in order to get ready.  But fear not, it will be posted.

In the meantime, keep those questions/comments coming.  This is turning out to be a more important topic than I had imagined.

Thanks for reading, Peeps.  And for spreading the word.  Share it with everyone you know who needs to be prepared ...... just in case.

Happy Monday.
:)

*There Are No Words