...... is going on?!
W.
T.
H?
For the past 2 days I have been on the brink of crying ...... and anything, anyone ...... or any word can set me off.
I just feel full to the brim. Like a dam getting ready to burst.
Almost like I'm overwhelmed, but by what?
I have no idea.
But I can tell you exactly when it started.
Exactly.
Yesterday morning I was driving and a Billy Joel song came on.
"Only the Good Die Young"
And that ...... was all it took.
It didn't even hit me when the song started. I was singing along, not paying any attention to the words (the way I always, ALWAYS have with songs on the radio) and then, for some reason, I actually heard the words I was singing.
And I thought, "Yep. That's true." Still not upset or anything.
But within about 10 seconds I certainly was.
Both.
It wasn't the rest of the song. Of course.
It was just that one line.
Over and over and over.
Ever since then, I feel like crying.
A lot.
Oh, and I just returned home a little bit ago after being gone for several hours. I stopped and picked up the mail, came in the house and went through it.
I have something from OSU about re-upping for football season tickets.
Only here's the rub ...... and the thing that set me off again, fighting to hold back the tears in front of Son #3 and the ladies helping to clean my house ......
...... it was addressed to me ...... and to Jim.
You know, that guy who's been dead for over 5 (FIVE) years.
The guy who NEVER bought season tickets.
W.
T.
H???!!!
The dam is cracking more and more.
But I haven't had the time, or the privacy, to just sit and let it out.
Which might end up being disastrous for some innocent bystander pretty soon.
Or maybe my tennis partner tonight.
I really hope not, since he's the husband of one of my team mates.
Ack!!!
That's all.
I've got nothing else.
Just needed to let that out in the hopes of making me feel better ......
and to hopefully lessen that overwhelming feeling inside of me.
And to make me feel less like crying.
I hope it works.
Happy Friday, Peeps.
And keep asking questions.
Please.
4 comments:
wish I was there to give you a big hug. Sorry you are feeling that way. would listen to you cry - or cry with you - or whatever it takes. Love and miss you.
Oh Janine, wish I had something profound to offer. I'm sorry for your pain. Big hugs!
So sorry Janine. :( It just comes, unfortunately, still. Out of the blue, when least expected, WHAM, the tears need to flow and flow, and maybe flow even more. Songs, places, "letters" addressed to both, etc., that most times don't bother us too much anymore, suddenly do! I will pray that you will have a time and place where you can just release the pain with your tears and then, move forward some more. Much love and understanding!
Praying for peace to wash over you!
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