As I'm sure you can tell by the length of time between posts.
It's not that life is so great that I'm too happy to write.
Or that it sucks so much that I can't find the words to express myself.
Life is just life.
And my motivation has waned.
On the outside ...... life is good, life is busy, life is fun.
Things aren't always as they appear ...... on the outside.
I miss him.
And that will never change.
That's nothing new.
There doesn't seem to be anything new to be written.
Or the desire to write.
Maybe my days of writing are past.
Maybe the usefulness of this space has ended.
I wish I knew what to do or where I should live for this next part of my life.
I wish loneliness wasn't the prevailing feeling right now.
I know that this is a season in my life and that one season is followed by another.
I also know that in some places, one season can seem to last forever.
I'm hoping this is a very short season.
7 comments:
I have missed your posts but I do
understand. Life can be so much.
So boring and so routine. I quess that is why God gave us different
seasons. Different seasons of weather and of life. Some we like
more than others some do seem to last longer than others. Glad you
are enjoying living in New York.
Love, Raydene
OH MY! When I wrote my comment I had not read all of your post only
about days of writing being over. And then after I posted went back to finish reading with mouth open
so funny.
Please keep writing. Keep being you, my hero. And I thought we had this settled, you're moving to New York! Love you lots! xo
Totally understand how the urge to write wanes and fluctuates over time -- and the loneliness too. I wouldn't be surprised if some of it has been triggered by the tough things lately -- #6 starting college, the trauma with Jack. The immediate crisis points have passed, so now your psyche can process them, react -- and miss Jim more, and feel the loneliness instead of stress or crisis modes. Still happens to me, and it's been over 8 friggin' years now.
Write when you want to write, or don't post. Just make sure your crazy widda friends can find you on FB or somewhere so we don't worry too much. ;-)
Love ya, and
And for the record, I really hate trying to leave a comment on my iPhone. Stupid keyboard and blogger do not play together well!! Harrumph. But I have a feeling it's the same gripe you have, given what you've said before about blogging on your iPad. :)
I love your posts!
I get it. But I have to tell you that as someone who is pretty much on your timeline it has been reassuring that someone else with the same timeline is feeling the same things. Most blogs out there are written by newly widowed folks. Your blog is one that I turn to regularly because of similarities. It's been very comforting and empowering. SOooo... even though I understand, I still hope that you will continue to write.
With much love and understanding,
Sandy/Ct
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