If I have to watch one more episode of "America's Next Top Model" my brain is going to completely ooze out of my ears.
For some odd reason all three girls seem to be able to lose themselves in that show -- and it seems to be a never-ending marathon. I think this is definitely contributing to my severe ADD and memory loss. Well, that and .................. you know.
Daughter #1's CT scan is set for Tuesday morning. I'm trying to put that out of my mind.
Today I went to a luncheon with some of the women from one of my tennis teams. I love those women.
It was sort of good to get out and do something from "before" -- even if it's not the "before" me.
I want to say hi to all of the GPhiBs that have commented, e-mailed and sent cards. I love you all and each of you has made me smile. Thank you. I hope to see you in April.
And to everyone - thank you. I'm still here and you're a huge part of that. Thank you for your comments, cards, e-mails (I read everything --- I rarely answer but I do read) and your calls. And thank you for your love and your prayers. Today I had a glimmer for a nano-second: "I will survive and still have God." Then it was gone. Like a flash.
But it was there.
7 comments:
So glad that you've had some small joys lately. I have faith you will return to live a life of full joy. It will be different, but it will be blessed. You and God and your wonderful family and friends. xoxo
Hi Janine,
I know for you, too, the pain and sorrow seem to be longer than 24 days but I want to tell you what an inspiration you are to me and to many others. I have always loved your sense of humor and admired your strength. You haved maintained that strength in such a difficult time and that is admirable also. You have a very strong support group...for that I am grateful. I KNOW your base of friends - and you are very, very blessed! What an awesome group of friends! We loved Jim and are sorry we didn't tell him so. So,...now I am letting you know that we do dearly love you and your family. Most particulary, we learned the lessons Jim taught us in how to love our kids and others is to keep God first-always. The doubt about God's love will pass and hopefully we will all accept His decison some time soon about taking Jim way too early and not be mad about it! (me too!!) We pray for you, your loss and your family daily and want to be a part of your life. Please let us know what we can do that will bring you some peace or joy - if, only for a short time. (My Bloody Mary was pretty good - huh?). We are also learning to TELL those that we love how much they mean to us. Thank you for being in our life and PLEASE call if you need anything! Love, CT
I love you, CT. And your Bloody Mary was great. :)
Dear Janine, I didn’t get to know the “old” Janine for very long before being “reintroduced” to the “new” Janine. But, I think New Janine deserves a break. She has some very positive qualities. Old Janine loved her kids, but New Janine cherishes them. Old Janine enjoyed her friends and times they spent together, but New Janine has an appreciation for them born of experiencing great loss. New Janine has a better understanding of how precious, and short our time together is. I don’t think what happened to you was good, in fact I think it was awful. But I do see the good that has come of it; friends who have loved and supported each other, people who no longer take their loved ones for granted, and prayers lifted…and answered. I will continue to pray for Old Janine and New Janine to reconcile and I have every faith that someday they will.
Rebecca
I was so glad that you came to the luncheon today. It was nice to see a few smiles. I do want you to know that while it sometimes seems like life is just going on the same for everyone else, that is not true. What you are going through has affected me even though I never knew Jim. Your daily blog has reminded me that our loved ones time here on earth is limited. You and Jim impressed me last year when you read the book that I had concerns over. That gave me a glimpse of the wonderful, caring man that Jim must have been.
We do have a great tennis team, and it was very nice to have you with us today. You don't have to post this....I just wanted you to know these things.
Lyn
I LOVE YOU!
Janine--sometimes I read your blog and feel like a voyeaur, wanting to turn away but strangely drawn to your nakedness--your bare emotions. Today I glimpsed something else...Our savior saying through you, "I was naked and you clothed me." Thank you for allowing others into your life at this time instead of shutting off the world. You are indeed loved. Some of us know of no other way to help at this time but to pray for you and your family...thank you for allowing us into your heart so we can know how best to pray.
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