It's amazing how two relatively "good" days can be shot to hell in just one hour.
I sat down with my brother-in-law and a friend who has been awesome and volunteered his expertise as a financial person. I lasted about 30 minutes -- maybe. And then I was right back to square one --- not believing that I'm sitting there having to have this discussion. Not believing that this is my life and that I have to deal with this for "40 + years". I don't want to be here 40 + days without Jim, let alone years. I don't blame the guys --- I have to deal with the stuff. I just wish I could deal with this stuff.
Tomorrow Daughter #1 has her CT scan. I have to go the attorney's office at the same time. I have two great friends going with her and two great friends going with my brother-in-law and me. The next morning we go to the tax accountant's office. What a fun week.
It's time for an Ambien.
6 comments:
Hey sis! I'm sorry you had such a bad day today. This just bites! I hate that you have to feel this way, I hate that my once happy go lucky, most positive one of the three of us sister if feeling like there is no end to this black hole of crap surrounding you. I hate that I sit here at my computer thanking God that you write on your blog everyday so we can know what is going on but then I get mad at God because you have to deal with crap you shouldn't even have to. I miss my sister who would laugh at one of my stupid jokes, I miss my sister who would make me laugh at my own expense :) I hate crying because I hurt so much for you and I want this to end now! I don't want you to be unhappy anymore. I don't want the kids to unhappy ANYMORE! Somebody please stop this horrible ride cuz they want to get off of it! I love you Janine so much and so wish I was there because I want to hold you and hug you and never let go.
Good morning my darling daughter. I'm so sorry yesterday was so hard. I know it will get better, but right now I'm sure that's no consolation. It's just very hard, with no end in sight. Your visit at the attorney today is just going to be one more of those hard things. But you have your "peeps" and their prayers. Don't lose sight of that. All your friends and family are fighting for you to get past the horrendous pain. A dull ache would be what we are aiming for right now. Our prayers for W are going up, as well as for all the kids. And you are in my prayers all day, every day. Lean on those around you as long as you need to. That's what they are there for. I love you and I'll see you soon.
Being forced to face the reality of where you find yourself sounds painful and unbearable at best. I'm grateful in the midst of it all you are surrounded by people you trust and that love you. Praying that everything goes smoothly today without any trouble and you get good news on Daughter #1.
Love,
Julie
Janine - I'm so thankful for this blog,as I've ached to know how you are, how I can pray, but felt that it wasn't fair to suddenly step in as if we were best friends. And yet, I love you! All I know is that I would be feeling exactly as you are! I feel that I couldn't do it! I'm so so sorry - and I care about you, am praying for you, and love you!
Malinn
Ditto Malinn........... I could not of said it better.
I think about you and pray for you everyday and feel like there is not
a thing I can do. I read your blog
every day and don't want to intrude. I will keep praying. I hate to see you hurt. Hang in there
Janine, one second at a time. I'm so glad you have this blog and you can express the pain, it does not stop it, but it gives you an oultet for some of it and it lets your family & friends stay in touch with you and gives you a way to take in their love and support.
love you,
Gina
I'm so sorry! I wish I could take it all away. I wish we could all wake up from this horrible nightmare. I love you. K
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