So much for one relatively good day. See, I can't trust that. Wonder if I ever will again?
Today started out with a bang. Son #2 over slept and missed the bus. Thank goodness for friends who respond to drugged phone calls. The sleeping meds work, but I need to sleep the correct number of hours to let them wear off the way they're supposed to.
Then I went to lunch with my mom and some wonderful friends. I had a much-needed margarita, which only made me sleepier and so I slept through the first half of "27 Dresses". Which is a good thing because Daughter #1 was unhappy that I was going to see it without her. Now I can go see it again.
Then straight to another meeting and home around 6:30. I shouldn't have checked my e-mail. It seems Son #2 is flunking Algebra, yet again. He didn't turn in the only 2 homework assignments from the past 2 weeks and he made a 46 on a test. And then he got mad because the dogs are no longer here. And then I lost all control of my emotions and broke down. I tried to explain to him how hard this is for me. How hard everything is for me now that my best friend and heart are gone. How hard it is for me to have to make all of the decisions for the rest of my life.
I cannot feel anything but exhaustion and despair tonight.
Add to that the fact that my mother-in-law's surgery is tomorrow and her surgeon's office was not cooperating with sending tissue down here for the genetics testing. So that was a mad scramble and I still don't know if they'll help us.
And tomorrow the boys have their CT scans. I dread trying to get the barium down them. It will be a very long day. We'll be there from 11:30 to probably 2:00. And then we wait ..... some more. The surgeon is supposed to be back in the office on Thursday, so hopefully he'll look at all 4 scans then.
Oh, and Daughter #1 hit a curb today while trying to avoid having a semi slam into her. One tire completely ruined.
And Mom's plane was 2 hours late, but she had to go to the airport at the regular time and she's probably still sitting there. She won't get home until 1:00 a.m.
And for the first time since December, no cards came in the mail. I'm not writing that to complain or for guilt or pity. It just is. I knew the day would come. Life does go on.
For other people.
7 comments:
I don't know that I have anything of great value to share, my catch phrases come from movies I watch with my boys that are in first and second grade. So from Meet The Robinsons -"Keep Moving Forward" and then one of my favs is the Incredibles when Frozone needs his "supersuit for the greater good" I wish for you my friend a supersuit to get you through tomorrow. Continuing to keep you and your children in my prayers.
Love,
Julie
Awww...now I'm crying.
Janine...no cards doesn't mean that life is going on for everyone else. MANY people's lives will never be the same again. You know that most folks only send one card...but they are still thinking of you every day...and remembering Jim constantly. Cards are a temporary thing...but our love for you and memories of Jim will last forever. I'm so sorry it was a lousy day. We take for granted that we have each other to deal with all of the things that happen on a daily basis. Your blog reminds me to be thankful. I love you Sis....very VERY much.
Lisanne
I'm so sorry about today. I know that tomorrow is going to be another tough day too. I'm praying tomorrow goes smoothly and quickly for everyone, and that God will give you the strength you need to get through it. I love you, K
Hey sis! I'll be praying for you, the boys and Jim's mom today. I hope everything goes well and you get the tissue you need for the testing. I don't remember who it was that said she had a card she has been carring around with her for a long time and just can't seem to find the words and when she does they just don't seem right, well I am the same way. I don't know how many times I have typed something only to delete it all and type something else. Where these words are, others use to be. It sounds good coming out but after rereading it...not so much. All I want for you right now is peace. You need that and that is what I pray for you today. I love you Janine!
Looks like I'll have to dig into your archives again. When I returned to Kingwood for Christmas and asked how this year's tea was, all I heard was how excited a speaker you were, from your experience in Kenya and your plan to go back. Here's hoping this mission will give you back some hope and enthusiasm in life again. If you had not known such Love you would not be suffering so. Not many get to experience that kind of Love. You were blessed.
I keep having this vision in my head. Your Jim has "finished the race". Me being a runner - everything seems to evolve around running. He is at the finish line. Janine is still running. She is tired, she is frustrating. Jim keeps saying you need to keep going you have a long way to go. It really will be worth it but just keep going. Janine is like but I'm so tired and Jim keeps saying just keep going you are going to make it. Jim says I'll see you at the finish line but you still have much to do. Just keep going. Janine - Geesh. Do they have a finish line in tennis?
Janine---I wanted to put things in some kind of perspective...the things that happened Tuesday would have stunk in the before, too. Son #2 oversleeping and missing the bus, flunking in algebra, Daughter #1 nearly being hit by a truck and blowing out a tire, a mother-in-law facing surgery, children going in for medical tests...any of these things alone or in combination could have caused an emotional meltdown in the before...they certainly would have for me. I've melted down under much less pressure, and you had a 3 Mile Island kind of day. Give yourself a break. We love you and are praying for you. Susan
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