.... it's another. I really am ready for God to give me a break.
Still no news from the surgeon. The reports went to the pediatrician yesterday and all of the measurements look normal. We still need to hear that from the man who's never in.
But here's the kicker ... there's something wrong with Son #2's lungs. So now we head to a pediatric pulmonologist. It could be something we can leave alone, or it could be something we have to do something about. The point is, it's something.
And today I received an e-mail from the financial person who I thought was a friend, but turned out not to be. He wants to call me for a talk ("more than a minute, less than ten"). The "before" me would have done it, for him. But the "after" me knows that my mind and body cannot handle much more. My hands were shaking as I read his e-mail and I cried as I replied to him. I told him that I can't, that he had devastated me, and that I couldn't believe that someone who was supposedly a friend had done that to me, especially at this time in my life. I told him that I (in my ignorance) had assumed he was offering his help as a friend, the way so many of our friends had, not because he wanted/needed my money. And I asked him to not ever call me.
And then I went to work. It was good to be back.
Now I get to go pick up Son #2 from school and talk to him about the next medical step (and try not to yell at him because he's not turning in homework and continuing to fail).
My stomach hurts. And I just want to take a nap.
A very, very long nap.
7 comments:
They need to build that bridge over Lake Houston so I can run over there and give you hug.
"CYH"
M
If I were your oldest child I would let the whole world know, I think the interview in it's self is a huge accomplishment.
Lets look on the bright side with Son #2....I know it's easier said than done, but isn't it better to know what this "something" might be now, than to learn about it when it's an emergency and you don't have time to make decisions because everyone is making them for you because it's the only option.
I never did my homework in school & somehow I made it through & turned out to be a productive part of society..I hope. Have Patience, Peristance & Prayers he'll figure it out
Oprah says you shouldn't have people in your life that aren't good for you. Kelly Clarkson has a line in a song "I picked the weeds and kept the flowers. The once thought of friend was just a weed.
I read your entries everyday, you & the kids are always in my thoughts. I've always heard that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but I'm not sure he's paying attention right now. Take the good moments and hold to
them. You are and AMAZING person with AMAZING friends & family...parents, sister & brother included, with their help and support you will slowly find the sun shining upon you more & more.
Kris
Well I am TOTALLY proud of you on e-mailing that sorry sucka frassin' frassin' stupid shiz-nit!! Again, remember, if you ever need any help talking to some of these IDIOTS, feel free to call me so I can do it for you. I think it might be therapeutic for me to go off on some morons for a while. I used to get to do that on a daily basis when I was an instructor in Texas...now I just get the occasional bonehead who needs yelling at to vent my frustrations on.
I'm sure you feel like you could collapse at any minute, but I do agree that God won't give you more than you can handle. I know, I know...easy to say when you aren't the one going through all the crap. But from the outside looking in, I FIRMLY believe that you can handle this one day at a time, and I say that because I've watched you do it before AND now. Just try to hit your knees each morning and as many times as needed throughout the day, He'll listen and help, even if it doesn't feel like He is.
Son #2...hmmm...maybe you'll just find out his lungs have been over-used due to him having to pull his pants up all the time, and having pants that fit will fix it??? ;)
I miss Jim terribly J...fortunately for me though, I'm not hit in the face with it on a daily, sometimes hourly basis. Today I looked at the picture of him at the wildlife refuge where he is wearing sunglasses, HUGE smile on his face and a reflection of the person taking the picture. As I looked at it, I still have a hard time accepting that this has all happened, it just doesn’t seem real. So I can't EVEN begin to truly understand what you are going through, but I know this. You have awesome friends, a great spiritual foundation, a great church, a great family and a great mom, dad and sister. And to boot, you have the best little brother in the world. No one can say that but you!!!
Love you!!
Little Bro
Good for you for telling that person no you wouldn't meet with him and how he made you feel. It seems like setting those boundaries to keep out people that would drag you down at this time is healthy for you. I'm glad the scans are ok and sorry about P's lungs - I'll pray for that!! Hopefully it will turn out to be something very minor. He's a great kid. Wish I could zap him from afar with a little buzzer every time he needs to turn in a homework! ;)
I am trying to email you but it's been bouncing for the last 2 days. Not sure what's up. I'll try the other... but I wanted to also say is that Prince William Sound? I was at that very place in 1997, and Kenai peninsula. I love Alaska - so beautiful. We DROVE there when our kids were 2.5 yrs and 9 mo. Yes we were insane! They screamed the whole way. (well I'm exaggerating but... part of the way was bad enough on a 7 12-hour drive from CA and then back to TX). Just a slight detour on our move. Maybe that's why we ended up divorced. ha ha! :) just kidding
Remember it is a small world...I have thought many times during the day about Alaska and then your name pops into my head. When it does, I feel the Holy Spirit is guiding me and then I pray...but, I think about the Anchorage Airport and turning around and seeing you, Jim, and the kids in the airport. We were all chattering and saying what a great time we had while there. A little more than six months ago--how life has changed. Our life changed that week--I walked into a whole new responsibility and I really dreaded leaving Alaska because the empty nest was empty for just a short time. Now our nest had Reuben's mom as part of our life. I learned everything is a little more magnified when things happen one after another--and you keep hoping that you can have a "normal" day. I read the other day that the only thing that is normal is the dial on the clothes dryer! I guess that about sums it up. You are cherished and adored--not only by the Lord, but by all of those who truly care about you and the children.
It was soooooooo good having you back at work yesterday. Spencer popped in for a little while and we're always glad to see him ... our "favorite son." JoG
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