So it's the 18th. Part of me feels like the last two months have really been at least 50 years. And part feels like it was yesterday.
Oh, and a clarification: for everyone who's asked "How are you?" --- I KNOW that you meant it and that you really want to know. I should have said that you shouldn't ask that within the first month, or at the very least, 3 weeks.
I also know that every single person (ummmm, with the exception of maybe one) has said things out of love and concern and caring. That was not what the list was about. It was about letting people know what helps and what doesn't. Just in case you ever have to go through this again (but I really hope you don't).
I'm not in the mood to post much. I wish I could report good news from the 9th grade, but I can't. Oh well.
We sang this song yesterday in church and then I heard it first thing this morning. It's a very, very difficult song to sing, but it says a lot.
Blessed Be Your Name
- - -
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
I'm still waiting for the sun to shine down on me and for the world to be all as it should be.
I know the sun will shine again but I think I'll be waiting for that second part until the day I die.
11 comments:
Good evening my darling daughter. Ok...I say we outlaw the 18th. Just do away with it. It's only one day a month. No one will miss it. All in favor....? I love you, J. I still pray for you daily, on many occassions. You are in my thoughts often. Take care of yourself. And I will add Jim's mother to my prayer list. Give her my love.
I never knew all of the words to that...WOW!!!!!
I love you!
Little Bro
ok - I have to jump in here as I have been away from your blog for a while and in catching up, wanted to post for the last 3 nights. Your list of what you don't want to hear is extrememly helpful. I must admit that I was nervous reading the list hoping and praying that I wasn't a "don't" offender. Whew - with that joyous news, I want to say...'you (and your family) are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. this sucks. I love you.' In fact, I'm good with the whole ten step program! I love hearing about your kids successes and the outings you are beginning to enjoy and continue to admire your courage and strength. We have been attending FOTW and even this week sang "Blessed be Your Name". I DID think about you during that song and am happy you found encouragement or a message from the song. We miss CTK so much but are trying to get connected. Hmmmm - we could talk on a lot too about smart, handsome, capable kids that don't have the dedication and drive YET for success and you are right - they all find their own way, gifts and talents. I DO love you and B does too! xoxo ct
Every entry is challenging and inspiring. Good stuff today. I am praying that the sun will shine down upon you sooner! Thanks for the blessings list the day before! It was an awesome reminder.
Love,
Julie
Oh Janine, I just hate this day. I hate the 17th too. And when I think about how emotional I am about these two days,my thoughts turn to you- and I can't even imagine how hard this is for you.
I love you so much. I ache for you and the kids. This is all still so sureal.
I am not understanding that song very well at the moment. I used to love it, but as I read it now I am having a very hard time with the "give and take away" part. I am just very sad and more than a little mad and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier to deal with.
What a great friend I am, huh? I should be trying to encourage you and lift you up!
I do believe the sun will shine down on you again. The world as we know it will never be the same and will never be All It Should Be.
I love you, K.
I thought of you when I heard that song in church. I love the song but it is sad. My heart is broken for you guys. :( Life sucks sometimes. I'm not being very cheerful! I'm praying for Ps tests this week. And I'm glad I didn't start completely bawling earlier because I did yesterday! :) Ah well, I'm emotional what can i say :)
I know this list will make you feel better (or at least I hope it will) though I still hope for a non-dropout! This whole list is amazing! Speaking of Jane Austen...
http://www.angelfire.com/stars4/lists/dropouts.html
The summary:
Total Names: 716
Males: 547
Females: 169
Billionaires: 25
Millionaires: uncounted
U.S. Presidents: 8
Astronauts: 1 (Valentina Tereshkova)
Nobel Prize Winners: 10 (6 Literature, 2 Peace, 1 Physics, 1 Chemistry)
Nobel Prize Nominees: 11 (includes above and Heather Mills)
Olympic Medal Winners: 8 (7 Gold Medalists, one Silver Medalist)
Oscar Winners: 62
Oscar Nominees: 104 (includes above)
Best-Selling Authors: 55
Presidential Medal of Freedom recipients (U.S.'s highest civilian honor): 14
Congressional Gold Medal recipients (U.S.): 12
United Nations Goodwill Ambassadors: 2 (Roger Moore, Angelina Jolie)
Knighthoods: 27
Damehoods: 3
That song will forever be difficult for me to get through without crying. Part of me says why does life have to be so hard and another part of me says where does it say life is supposed to be easy. I suppose when I'm mature enough to say "Blessed be your name" no matter what, then I'll understand.
My precious daughter-in-law has suffered through two miscarriages last year ('07), she would agree with you--'07 stunk!
She too came up with a list of things not to say...you guys matched!! We had a chance to talk this weekend and I told her I learned a few things by reading books on miscarriage, death, etc..One thing not to say: Do not say anything that begins with the two words, "at least"-- or implies the idea. Also, I learned that often we are trying to "rescue" the person from their grief which minimizes why there is grief--the individual was loved and there should be grief.
You and the kids are in my prayers daily. Sorry about the quick trip over last week when I dropped off the dinner--it was when the storm looked like it was going to hit. I have a neurotic dog who can't take the lightning and thunder. I keep telling him it is a learned behavior and he needs to get over it--he ignores me. It just feels dumb to have to tell someone that I have to run because of the darn dog!!
Between the neurotic dog, the weather, and a letter that revealed some news from the past--life could not have been much crazier at the moment. Oh-- and I had to get to the support group for Dementia/Alzheimers--forgetting things is not the worst thing in the world that can happen! (I am not minimizing dementia or Alzheimers--just some things that you would rather not remember).
I will come in and hang out with you next time I have the dinner date--it is a promise!!
Just to make you laugh, here is a funny (or stupid?!) YouTube video that my kids just love - it's a ridiculous and hilarious Gummi bear song - in German. (there's an English vs but they prefer this one) It cracks me up! And taht little turkey 'broke into' my blog again... and posted it there.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=gC0sIwcAi1A
J--It's interesting that the song that affected you on Sunday was not the same song that affected me. Remember, we sang "Let it Be Said of Us". As tears rolled down my face, I thought of Jim and the fact that this song totally describes him. How incredible his legacy is. For those of you who don't know the words to this song, here they are:
Let it be said of us
That the Lord was our passion,
That with gladness we bore
Ev'ry cross we were given;
That we fought the good fight,
That we finished the course
Knowing within us the powr of the risen Lord.
Let it be said of us:
We were marked by forgiveness,
We were known by our love,
And delighted in meekness.
We were ruled by His peace,
Heeding unity's call;
Joined as one body that Christ would be seen by all.
If I tried I could not describe Jim any better than the words to this song. For the past three years when we sing this song I turn to whichever family member is sitting beside me and tell them I want this song at my memorial service. I want to be remembered in this way. Rejoice in these words--as they totally describe your awesome husband! I love you-di
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