Thursday, April 3, 2008

A decision

This is from the same trip to Oregon .... we were at the coast for this one.  Jim was a great dad.

     OK, consider this a group announcement.  I am not able to call or e-mail everyone so here you go.  And I wish I could see many, many of you do the happy dance when you read this (Mom!).
I have decided to not go to Kenya.  
Quit jumping up and down and continue reading.  And if you're pleased with this decision you'd better post a comment!!  By the way, Happy Birthday, K.  Consider this your gift --- now I don't have to shop!
I am, and have been , overwhelmed at the thought of being ready for this trip.  I had a long talk today with my friend/boss/pastor and felt much better afterwards.  I also feel like a load has been lifted, which makes me sad because I loved Kenya and that trip changed my life.  I hope to go again, but I don't think now is the time.  I have prayed so much about this and I don't think it's in God's timing, either.
I still don't know what's going on medically.  My blood tests were normal (that danged ENT still hasn't called me!).  The MRI showed nothing really serious but a couple of things that may need attention.  Not a big deal but just another thing to add to the list.  I had my shoulder x-rayed today.  It seems to be OK so she's guessing that it's a tendon.  No tennis for 2 weeks.  And lots and lots of motrin.
And my mother-in-law isn't doing well and I don't want to be out of the country if anything happens.
So there you go -- I absolutely hate backing out of commitments and try to do everything I can to avoid that, but I give on this one.  I really thought I could do it and I've done everything I need to do to go but I am now admitting that I am not physically or emotionally ready for this trip.  I am sad and relieved at the same time.
And I know there is much rejoicing all over the land.  
And some sadness.
But probably more rejoicing.  



6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awww, J. I'm sad that you're not feeling up to going, but to be very very honest, I'm glad that you have decide to hold off. I was worried. Hopefully we can go in November:) Maybe by then, things will have settled a little over there as well.
The pictures from yesterday and today made me smile. That was the last time that I saw you all. Wow. It's hard to believe that. SO much time got away. Those are some REALLY cute kids!
I'm thinking about you and keeping you in my prayers every day. Glad to hear they aren't finding anything horrible wrong. Just remember that stress does weird and awful things to a body.
I love you.

Lis

Anonymous said...

I am rejoicing, but not for the fact that you're not going. You need to take care of yourself. Once you are better, go nuts. But you can't care for others if you aren't caring for you. You've been through a lot and I think that you're right in that God wants you home. Kudos. MJ

Unknown said...

I was wondering if it was the best timing with the dizziness and all that is going on. You can be in a wonderful position to pray for those going and when it's God's timing you will return. I am praying for you and your family. Sending love from across the world!

Anonymous said...

Good morning my darling daughter. I am, indeed, relieved that you will not be going. My relief is more because of your health than anything to do with Kenya itself. I know how much you want to go, and I will be behind you 100% (ok, maybe not 100%, but at least 85-90LOL)when your health permits. Your previous commentors are absolutely right about your health being the main priority right now. Once you're "all better", I'll help you pack. I love you more than words can say, and I'm so looking forward to Wednesday.

Anonymous said...

I know you have made a wise decision. It would not have been the same experience for you as the last time because I know you would have been consumed with Jim's mom's situation the entire time. Your body is not ready for the flight or the time zone out of whack experience either. I hope to go with you in the fall. Take care of that shoulder!

Anonymous said...

well, I am rejoycing-as you know-doing the happy dance with a few of my friends!!!
But the only reason I am releived that you are not going is because I don't feel it is the right time-I know you will go as soon as you are ready-and I will support you 100%in that trp.
Great Birthday gift! Thank you! Love You! K