Identity theft

This is Jim with Daughters #2 & #3 (you can barely see one standing behind the other). They were about 2. I think the top picture is Daughter #2 and the bottom picture if Daughter #3, but don't hold me to it. Yes, I am a horrible mother because sometimes I can't tell which twin is which in pictures. They will definitely add it to their books.

Well, today was a mentally epic day. I went to work (obviously, from the post below), then I went to the therapist and tonight I went to a grief support group. I should be SO mentally healthy now! All I am is mentally drained. I'm not sure why I went to the support group. My therapist mentioned it today and it happens to meet on Tuesdays so I thought, "What the heck? It can't hurt." I didn't want to go. I almost didn't go. But I got in the car and drove to it. As I walked in I still didn't want to be there. It lasted for an hour and a half and I never really wanted to be there. But then, I'm sure no one else did the first few times they went, either.

Most of the people were older than I am. There was one woman who seemed to be about the same age and her husband died a month after Jim did -- after 22 years of marriage. She didn't stay around for conversation so I don't know anything about her. I'll probably try it again. They ask that you try it 3 times before you give up. I wonder how many people give up? Or don't go at all.

I did learn two things today. First, "grief" lasts for 18 months to 2 years. And second, the 2nd year can almost seem harder than the first --- in different ways. Too bad that most people think that the "one year mark" is some magic kind of number and expect you to be "over" it by then.

I don't expect I'll be "over" it.

I also learned that I need to tell people that it's good for you to say his name. Jim. It's good for you to share memories with me. Too many people don't say the names of people who have died. We tend to give more validation to someone who's had identity theft financially, than to someone who's had identity theft by death. That's how the facilitator described it: identity theft. It's very descriptive. I've been robbed. I used to be Jim's wife. And now I'm not. I used to be married. And now I'm not. I used to be a couple. And now ..... you get the idea.

The only difference is, I can't find who's responsible and have him prosecuted.

To end on a positive note: Daughters #2 & #3 won "Best Legs" in their sorority tonight!!! The family tradition continues!! Way to go girls!!!!