This picture is of Jim with Sons #2 & #3. I think they were around 3 & 5. It was at the farm. And no, Jim is not naked! Get your minds out of the gutter, people!Well, the bad thing about only spending a day with my parents is just that. It's only a day. Not nearly enough time. I guess that could be a good thing -- we leave each other wanting more time and not sick of each other! Not that I would ever feel that way but they might. Nahhhh! Who wouldn't love spending MORE time with me? Ummmm, maybe some of my kids.
I wasn't going to write a post today because I didn't have a lot to say but then I decided that I might either float away during the night, or be carried away by a stinking tornado, so I'd best get one last post in while I can. The weather here is horrendous and there are huge storm and tornado watches (and sightings). It's been raining like crazy and I think we might need an ark. Ooh, that would be bad because my mom has 3 cats .... one would have to stay. Yikes!
Oh, good news --- I went into a PetsMart tonight (my mom likes to live dangerously) and I did NOT leave with a cat! And we even stopped and looked at the adoptable cats. See, I do have some measure of control.
For some reason, my mind has been playing tricks on me lately. I'm not sure if it's doing it more because I'm in Tulsa for the first time in the "after" or what. It was doing it a bit before I left. But things keep happening to me and my first thought is, "I need to call Jim." It's been happening more here, but I'm sure that's because every time I was out of town I called him every night to say good night, or to tell him about something or someone. And I called him to check on the kids. And he called me. Just to say hi and check on me. And to tell me he loved me.
Just in case I haven't mentioned it before ..... or at least in a while, ..... the "after" sucks.
Not all of it ---- anymore, -----but all of it with the huge hole in it.
Some of my friends forwarded me news today --- the school board wants to name a building after Jim. And they want to start a scholarship in his name. They continue to amaze and touch me. He left huge holes in quite a few places.
Tomorrow I head to "college" and get to spend some quality time with my "sisters". That makes me smile.
:)
7 comments:
I haven't been "home" to Tulsa in two years, and then it was a quick weekend. I wish I could have been there when you are there so we could meet up. I hope it will happen someday! Tell the old neighborhood HI for me. Remember when we worked at Froug's? Those were the good days. Enjoy tulsa-time.
Gail
The school board news lifted my spirits yesterday. I would LOVE to see them name the new auditorium at KHS after Jim.
Marilyn
If we are voting what building we want named after our beloved Jim-I vote for the new auditorium at KHS too!
Have fun at college with your "sisters".
Love you!
Good afternoon my darling daughter. Well, you've been gone less than two hours and I miss you terribly. I so enjoyed the time we had, short as it was. But we'll fix that one of these days. Soon, I hope.
I know you are going to have a good time this weekend and am so glad you are able to take the time to do this. You need some major fun. Give yourself permission to have MAJOR FUN! I'll talk to you when you get back home. I love you enormously.
When you shared that you found your self waiting for Jim's call - its as if time stood still for a moment for me to grasp the pain of when you realized again he would not be calling. I am sorry. My heart breaks for you. I thought of you when I read this:
A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more.Matthew 2:18
There are times when there is no consolation for grief. There is no comfort. In these times we feel that those who try to comfort us do not understanding the vastness of our pain. All we know, all we see, is the terrible loss we have suffered. The world feels as if it should stop. Nothing matters but our loss.
We weep and rage and long for the return of what we have lost.
This happened to many of the families living in Bethlehem at the time of Jesus' birth. In hopes of killing the Messiah, Herod ordered that the oldest male child under two years old in that town be put to death. It was into this world of violence and terror that Jesus was born. The Christmas story is not a fairy tale with happy endings, but a story about real life and terrible loss.
There are times in our lives for weeping without comfort, for weeping with anguish and rage. God has come before into times like this. He comes as well into our times of anguish and rage. Because God comes there will eventually be a time to be comforted. And a time to heal. And a time to go on.
But there is a time to weep. It cannot be rushed, or bypassed. There is a time for weeping.
God, hold me when I weep,
when I refuse comfort,
when I cannot see beyond this pain.
Give me courage to grieve deeply, Lord.
Help me to tolerate the silence,
as I wait for you to speak.
Help me to survive the loneliness
as I await your coming.
Help me to grieve in ways
that draw me closer to you.
Amen.
I'm voting for the auditorium as well. So many of the Eggers clan have been so involved in theatre! I'll be sure to cast my vote when the school district calls to ask!!! Cindy T.
Yeah for the building named after Jim. What an awesome honor. jog
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