UPDATE ON THE UPDATED UPDATE:
This morning was rough. He would not hug me goodbye, though he hugged everyone else (except Son #1, who was too macho to do anything but shake his hand).
I cried .... he didn't. He was angry -- as you can tell from the comment he left below, right before we left the hotel.
I told him that I can not come back for Parents' Weekend next month if this is how it's going to be. He said he was fine with that. I know he's not, but I cannot go through this again. I told him that if he changes his mind, and his attitude, and will treat me better, I'd love to come. But if he doesn't .... I will not.
I realize that many people will disagree with that .... and that's OK. He's my son and only my son now. I'm doing the best I can, which isn't great but is all I can do.
I am beyond exhausted but OK.
Son #3 and and I came home to no power and rising temps, packed the car, bought groceries, picked up the cats and a friend of his and headed to the lake.
I am now in living with AC, lights and TV. The tv thing is not so important. The ac, and thus the refrigerator, is.
I am glad the weekend is over.
And am more grateful than I can say for your support and prayers and comments.
UPDATE ON THE UPDATE:
Can I just say ...... that once in a while, being a mom, a mom who tries REALLY hard to do a good job (sometimes) ..... totally sucks?!
Today was mostly a decent day. Tonight ... not so much. Son #2 is staying in the hotel with us (which they don't usually allow when one has 3 C's and 3 F's) and is acting very miserable and depressed. The boy can certainly turn it on and off at will.
I really want to be done. Cried in the shower .... no big surprise there. I'm very tired.
And angry.
At Jim.
At God.
At Son #2.
At all of them for putting me in this position.
Don't worry --- I'm not about to break on bringing him home.
I'm just tired.
Of everything.
UPDATE: I just got to the hotel after spending 2 hours next to an angry, crying, sometimes yelling, non-hearing, hurt, scared and surprised Son #2. He seemed almost stunned that I really am not going to bring him home.
This all occurred at a football game. It was SO much fun.
It's definitely a Xanax night ..... and I don't say that lightly.
Oh, and I also found out that I'm supposed to be at breakfast with him at 6-stinking-15 in the morning!
I'd love to be in my too-warm (weather is heating up), powerless house.
On the bright side .... I have light (no pun intended). And TV!! I'm watching CNN!!
And hoping for a deep sleep.
Keep up the good work answering .... I still need the distraction!!
Still here. Still no power and having less and less fun.
I broke down and got the mail last night.
Big mistake.
We leave late this afternoon. Not sure when we'll get to see Son #2.
But at least we'll be in a hotel with electricity!!!
There's nothing new to post. I won't be on until Sunday or Monday, so let me leave you with a question.
And don't even THINK about not answering!! This is my only form of entertainment, however brief it is!!!!
If YOU were without power for at least a week (or if you HAVE BEEN without power for at least a week),
what do you think you'd miss most:
I'll go first.
LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't tell you how tired I am of going to bed around 9:00 p.m. and being wide awake at 5:30 a.m. I miss lights ..... my lights, my lamps, the street lights, the signal lights (very much), etc.
Your turn now!
Discuss amongst yourselves.
:)
35 comments:
I was going to say my blow dryer but Light is harder to be without.
Janine I feel your pain of being without electricity. I feel like I'll go mad when it is out for more than 3 hours, let alone 7 days. Reading by candlelite is impossible once you get to be my age and there is nothing else to do with no electricity and no one else you live with.
I will be praying for you this weekend-may God bring you great peace, and hopefully while you are away God will speak his famous words again and say "Let there be Light!"
Luanne
MY BLOW DRYER!!!!
I have naturally "messy" hair!!
I would definately be able to SCARE people into fixing my electricity!
XOXO
K in AK
Well if I were to lose electricity here I would miss HEAT the most. It's already snowing on the mountains close to here(Flat Top is one of them) so COLD COLD is just around the corner. I can see how lights would come in a close second though. I think my fish would miss filtered water though. Not too sure there would be too much hope for them in your situation.
Hope teh graduation goes well and tell him we are proud of hime and to keep it going!
Love ya,
Little Bro
Well Centerpoint's web page says you should have elec. by Monday...that's a positive note. I also thought it was very interesting that the storm track went DIRECTLY OVER HOUR HOUSE! That's more ammo to move there! "See K1, the storm went RIGHT OVER their house and all they got was a downed tree!"
Lil Bro
Clearly, being without power for a week I miss not being able to check your blog when ever I want to :)
We were without power for less than 24 hours (I know, not sure why we were so blessed)...but it was definitely the light...reading by candlelight just puts me to sleep. Know what I could do without?...t.v. since we got our power back on, the kids just keep wanting to watch...don't have any idea what a blessing it is to be with power...i really wanted them to know what it was like to do without. oh well...i enjoyed the light, and the cold drinks. susan
When I lost everything I owned to Hurricane Andrew, there was no internet so I didn't "miss" computer time. But for 29 days I had to take a cold shower by candlelight, and I hated that SO much. I cooked over a fire in the backyard, and my kids took baths in a bucket. I heated water for them. What I really missed was ICE. I never take ice in my Diet Coke for granted again.
Hang in there! Gail
TOTALLY understand about the power- A few years ago, we had a really bad ice storm when we lived in Southern OH, and were without power for 14 days! Let's see...what did we miss...we stayed in a cabin at the camp we worked at that had wood/gas heat & a gas water heater, we cooked on the gas stove at camp...we were pretty well set up there...
I would say, definitely light, although I loved using candles (I was a newlywed, what can I say? :) )...whenever the power's out, I always worry about what's in my fridge & freezer- right now I have about 5 gallons of irreplacable breastmilk in the freezer, so I suppose that's what I would miss most if the power went out for a long period of time.
Hope your power comes back on SOON & you have a great weekend!
MY COMPUTER! I can live in th dark, but only if I have my computer! ;)
I hope you get light soon...love you!
Lis
The thing I missed the most about being without electricity for 5 days was the availability of food. I went to bed hungry, I woke up in the middle of the night hungry and again in the morning. I missed access to my refrigerator and being able to just fix a snack or fix a decent dinner. I know that I am all about food, but I can't help it! Now if it had been extremely hot-it would definitely been the air conditioning.
I will be praying without ceasing for you and #2 this entire weekend.
Love you.
The fridge! :) I've discovered I'm a comfort eater so I would need my food to survive the dark. I do have to say we were like one of the only people that didn't lose power in the ice storm here and a family of 7 moved in with us for 9 days! That was interesting! :) Praying for you girl!
Communication! I've had to live without power for days before and I could deal with no lights. It actually made me feel more rested. However, I couldn't stand having no access to people. No internet, no phones; it was maddening!
I would miss light and being cool or warm depending on the season. I have prayed for you today as well as last night. Hang in there. you are one tough, strong woman. He will appreciate you in the long run, which you know. I'm praying you have power when you return home.
I think I said that my neighborhood had power restored midday on Tuesday. So, yeah, I HAVE been without power. What did I miss the most? TV - and I am NOT a big TV person. BUT - when I listened to the simulcast of the tv stations, they kept saying, "Here is Bolivar" or "Here is Galveston" and I was GREEN with envy that I could not see what others were seeing. But I still was LIVING thru it. But next to that, I missed the internet and e-mail and reading my favorite bloggers (you are one of 'em). So that's my long-winded reply. When you want a brief reply, don't ask em!
Ike came my way and left us without power for a day and a half. I missed my computer. It's my news, my wind down time, my outlet. Even after my power was connected it was still four days before I had any iota of an internet connection. Hope power comes your way soon!
Good evening my darling daughter. I love you deeply and am in prayer for you and son #2. I know how difficult this is for you and him, also. Hang in there and it has to get better. Eventually. Once again, I love you dearly. Will see you tomorrow.
Oh, yes....light. I also missed the light, as you know. Dark stinks!
okay, I'm amending my answer...ice cream. Went out today and bought some Blue Bell...can't believe how good it tasted...wanted to eat the whole carton, and it wasn't one of those single serving sizes...yeah, definitely ice cream! susan
Hi J, Just thought you might like to know (and tell P when he calms down a bit) that one of the associate dentists I work with also went to military school. He said to tell P that the first few weeks do suck and to hang in there! He is a GREAT guy, a GREAT dentist and GREAT to work with! Oh, and he is a NEW dentist...he has only been practicing for less than a year!
XOXO
K in AK
Hang in there P!! You can do it!!! Maybe one day you'll be flying an F-22 over Uncle M's office!!!
Okay now its time for your friends to see MY side
I am SO FRICKING depressed here, I dont care what that man said to you in his office, I'm ALWAYS depressed, some times less than others
YOU Have YOUR FRIENDS to help you, to be there for you
I got Druggies and Alcoholics to tell me stories of getting high, and offering me pot.
I have NOBODY Here,
and thats not fair at all.
I TOLD YOU OVER AND OVER<
if you bring me home,
I would work my ASS Off to get the grades YOU want me to get, because at home, I wouldn't be depressed all the time LIKE I AM HERE.
HOW DOES KEEPING ME HERE MAKE ANY SENSE?
oh thats right, you refuse to look at it through my eyes, like I do for yours.
"son" #2
Son #2 might learn at school that students need to get good grades for one's OWN good, not for one's MOM. It's his life and future, and that's the lesson in accountability that military school will teach. Keep the strength, J. You're doing the right thing, and he's hurting in very expected ways.
I would miss my fridge. We were without one for 3 days waiting for our stuff here in the new house. Yes we are here but it will be awhile before it is home. Love you J. And P...Give your mom a break!!!! You knew this was going to happen and you did nothing. We all love you and if you just stop being negitive and just deal with what is happening it WILL get better! You don't have to post this if you don't want to J I just had to get that off my chest.
Dear P, Can I just say that at least you are NOT there because you are an alchoholic or because you are a druggie...at least you are there because your mom loves you so much and will do anything to help you succeed.
We love you too. I had a blast when you were here visiting us and I think you are a GREAT (and very cool) kid! You can do this P!!
Love,
Aunt K in AK
J you don’t have to post this if I’ve gone overboard, but your son has pissed me off!
OK P, get ready to not like Unka Mike any more. You selfish little snot! You are acting just like a 5 year old…”I’ll behave if you give me ONE MORE chance.” Nice try! You knew this was coming and your grades stayed the way they were. If I wanted to come home early from a military school, I would get straight A’s where I was and THEN that would be ammo for going home. And yes depression sucks, but it is the only emotion (hand in hand with self pity) that is self-fed. Pull yourself together and get your head in the books and quit wasting time crying about how sorry we should feel for you! Do you honestly think she is doing this as punishment??? NO!! This is the only thing that she, AND your dad for that matter, could do given the circumstances and the choices you gave them. I can promise you that if your dad was here you wouldn’t be acting like this at all. If you did he would be so far up in your chili you wouldn’t know what to do. If I were down there I would thump you in the head, literally (ask my kids, they HATE it) and try to get your attention. Go ahead and think this is none of my business, but YOU made it my business! This is MY SISTER you are hurting, and I don’t take kindly to her hurting…never have. It seems as if there are tons of people telling you this is the best thing for you and YOU are the only one saying it isn’t. I hate to tell you but a wise man once said that if two or more people tell you that you have a tail growing out of your ass then you better turn around and check. Your mom kissed your butt up to the day you left because she felt so bad, so don’t you dare act like this is something she is enjoying. If you had one ounce of feeling for anyone else’s emotions besides your own you would know that this is killing her and you would be doing whatever you could to stop the pain she’s going through. It was all fun and games talking about going to that school, but now that reality has hit you in the face and you are there and NOT coming home you have no idea what to do. Well let me tell you something kiddo…it’s up to YOU and YOU ALONE to get yourself out of this one. Pull your head out and do your school work and pass school and you can get on with your life. And don’t talk to me about depression boy, I wrote the friggin’ book on it and have been through things that you have NO IDEA about. No my dad didn’t die when I was a teenager, but I promise you there are MANY OTHER things that can put you into a deep depression besides the death of a loved one. I have been through hell and back, been on the brink of DEATH, LITTERALLY, and had no clue what my life was for! Guess who pulled me out????? No not just me…my faith in Christ and a LOT of hard work on my part. As long as you are crying about the predicament you are in you will NEVER be able to do what is needed to get out. As long as you focus on the problem, the problem will get bigger. As soon as you focus on the answer, the answer will get bigger. Sorry I am so blunt, but I hate it when people talk about how they are being wronged, when everyone else says they aren’t. Figure it out P, we all love you and want to see you pull through this, but you won’t until you start thinking about other people’s feelings besides yourself.
Unka Mike
P, I don't think u r looking at any of this through your moms eyes! If u were, you would see that anything she does is out of love for you, your siblings, and your dad. She misses you. A lot. Having you away is hard on her, the way you have been treating her breaks her heart, but she wants what is best for you and your future. Dont you realize that the "easy" thing for her to do right now would be to bring u home? But that would be like giving up on you, and she is not willing to do that. It would be easy for her to just give up, and let you fail classes and just do what you want. Would that be good for you? NO. And later on down the
road you would be the one to loose out, on your future.
you have so much potential, you are a wonderful person
and I know you can do this! I know that you love your
mom. I also know that you are really smart and you could
ACE these classes if you wanted too. So do it! Show us all!
But mostly, do it for yourself. I love you P, you are very
special to me. I hope and pray that you will reach deep
inside of yourself, muster up every bit of energy you have,
and make this work. Remember Last spring? When so
many of "your mom's friends" were trying to help you pass
your classes, we were tutoring you, helping you get
assignments done...and you said "no more
help! I want to do this myself!" ( and you were right! You need to do this yourself) Well buddy, here is your chance-
do it! I know you can! Believe it or not, one day, you will
thank your mom for NOT giving up on you. I know this for a
fact, my mom never cared enough about me to put her
foot down, make me live up to my potential. Didn't care
who I hung out with, or if I went to school. Never asked "is
your homework done?" , nothing, nada, zip. I would have
jumped through rings of fire if she had shown one ounce of
interest in my life at your age. You are lucky to have a
mother who cares so very much about you, and who loves
you so much it hurts! I hope one day you will see that. You have the power to bring yourself home- finish homework, study, make the grades. Don't CHOOSE to hang around "drugies" and "pot heads" because we both know that is not you, not your style. And dont try to use those threats towards your mom, its immature and mean, and the person it will hurt most in the long run is you. You are better than that P!
There are soooo many people who care about you, what a blessed person you are. I hope that you can see that.
I love you, K.
oh, and I miss lights the most, and my computer 2nd. Typing on my phone is really not fun, and takes 5 times as long!!!!!
Love you , K.
WOW.
You are being a great mom, I don't have to tell you that,your family is telling you that. You do not have to post this...I just wanted you to know that this mother and grandmother several states away is praying for you and your family. He is hurting but so are you and you are hurting more, only he has no idea because he's a kid and you are the mom. I had really prayed hard that your power would be on when you got home, guess He deemed otherwise....must be a good reason on His part. For He loves you too, even though you are going through so much. You are a great testimony. Keep looking up and holding on, He is holding you with His right hand. He will see you through this even though it may seem like He won't. May your power come back on at your house and things get straigthen out there.
OK Janine, it's day 10 with no power, and honestly I don't see Centerpoint getting us up and running today either. I miss light, I hate how dark it gets in the house so early. Oh, and can you believe my neighbor behind me actually came to my house yesterday to complain about the *sound* my generator makes??? Huh?? I'm not the only one lady, talk to Centerpoint if you have a problem with that! Sheesh, and we don't even run it at night! Anyway, can't begin to compare with what you're feeling, and I'm sorry I can't make it better. I'll just keep praying, it's all I can do.
Rebecca
First - just let me say you are doing exactly the right thing with son #2, my friend. It is unbelievably hard, I know. But you have no choice, because you love him so much. You can choose whether or not to post the rest of this comment.
And now to your son - I have a son who was just 17 when his Dad died unexpectedly. In the middle of his exams. His results were beyond dire. I talked to him about his options, and we made the decision for him to redo his year. He was with younger kids, and it was HARD. But it was the right choice. The easy route is for losers, and my son was not prepared to take the opt out. He wanted a future. So he toughed it out,made new friends, put up with a nagging mother, and made the most of the 2 years he had to finish. And on Saturday, while you were making your Mum's life less than pleasant, I took him to university 3 hours away. He made it to the college of his choice by sheer hard work, and he is now starting out on the career he has always dreamt of following. Was it easy? No. Did he have a tough time? Oh yes. Did he throw a tantrum? Oh no. I know his Dad would have been so proud of him. I have a strong suspicion yours would be too, if you buckled down and showed the world what you are made of. Your choice. People around you care about you. That is abundantly clear. You are more blessed than you know.
P...you are wrong when you say that your mom does not see things through your eyes. She has wisdom from her years of experience and she is "seeing" you in the future. She wants to see you as a well-rounded and productive man who can provide for himself and maybe a family someday. She knows that the key to success in this life is an education...that succeeding in school will give you a greater chance of succeeding in life. You know how much your mom and many others love you and want you to succeed. Do the right thing here for YOURSELF and for them. You have a lot of people on YOUR side!! The side that knows what he has to do and is fully capable to doing it! With love, V in OK
i haven't said anything for fear of saying the wrong thing which i seem to have a knack for lately. So i'll answer the easy question - i would have said hot water if i didn't have a gas hot water heater but i do for hwich i'm enormously grateful! Now that it's 900 degrees F with 99% humidity I can say for sure it's AC I miss the most! OMG I am going crazy. I may say email but i've been able to check it elsewhere but sometimes it's good to just tune it all out. Heck I grew up w/o electricity or running water so this should be easy, but you sure get used to it huh? Anyway I feel for you about P. He needs to do this. He can do this. I also know that in the midst of a deep (childhood) depression, it's almost impossible to see another person's perspective. I don't have any answers, except the One answer. Christ. Prayer. P will get through this, we all love him and are rooting for him. The struggle will make him a stronger person. You're an awesome person J, and an awesome mom. xoxo
I missed the news, National and International. All we got on the radio was 'recovery from Ike', not knowing what Ike was doing to the midwest! We were living in a vacuum until the paper was delivered, and the cable came back. On day 3 we got a generator, so we had light, and by day 6 we definitely need the fans! Now back in Italy with the cool weather and a window cracked open, I lid in bed last night and it was too quiet without the hum of the generators!!!!!
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