Ask Me Wednesday!!

      OK, my avid and supportive readers ---- it is now just about 10:00 p.m.  I have not been home for almost 14 hours ...... but ......  I will do my best to answer as  many questions tonight as I can before I am too pooped to type.

     I went to work bright and early this morning (after stopping off at the drug store to buy the over-the-counter-stuff-from hell, which was not picked up yesterday with the not-over-the-counter-stuff-from-hell).  All is awaiting me in the refrigerator.  Oooooh, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.  Ugh......................... movinging on............

     Son #1 and I went down to the Museum District to see the "Birth of Christianity" exhibit.  It was very interesting, though smaller than I had expected.

  Then I went back to work and didn't leave until it was time for Circle time (which, of course, was wonderful .... in spite, and because of, the horrendous and morbid topics that always arise).

And now I am home.  I'm all snug in my sweats and am ready to check out all of the questions.

     Before I begin .... thanks for all of the support and encouragement you've given about tomorrow and the gagging, throwing up, drinking.  I appreciate your support, but may I just suggest that if you REALLY meant it ..... you'd be at my home tomorrow at 2:00, drinking your own gallon of gunk along with me?!  

It's OK .... I know you'll here with me in spirit.  Sort of.

OK ..... on to the questions!

RJ buzzed in with the first question:  

What is a tennis drill?

     

     I'm trying to think of some hilarious answer to that but I got nothin'.  It's a nazi form of a tennis lesson.  A drill involves more than one person (in my case, 4) and a whole lot of running and lunging and breathing really, really hard.  Or maybe that's just with our coach.  He gets great delight in making us exhausted.  We pretty much work our butts off for an hour.

Kim asked:

How are you sleeping the past few nights?
Do you have your procedure scheduled yet?
Is it possible to get ink stains out of a cotton/lycra blend shirt? How?
What can I do with the neverending-mounds of paper that comes home from school from each child? How many drawings am I obligated to keep (and still not be considered an ogre) before drowning in a pool of crayon-filled paper, spelling tests, and home-made greeting cards?
When does the Shack book discussion blog start????

Here ya go, Kim:

*OK .... not great.  Still not getting to sleep as early as I'd like but at least that gives me time to catch up on all of the great blogs.

*I have no idea.  Other than I use Tide with bleach and it seems to work wonders.  That, and the Clorox bleach pen.  But that seems to wreck havoc on something with color.  Go figure.

*And here's what I did with all of the papers .... I kept one paper grocery bag for each child inside the pantry in our kitchen (you could keep them anywhere you have room .... if I could find room for 6 you can definitely find room!).

Every time the kids brought home some lovely art work, I'd put it in his/her bag.  I kept it for the entire school year.  At the end of the year I went through each bag and picked out the ones I wanted to keep.

Here's the secret of this task:  Never, ever, ever do it in the presence of the child.  DUH!!

The more children you have, the more brutal you have to be.  Of course, the more children you have, the easier it is to be brutal.

*I think I'm going to start "The Shack" blog the first week in February.  That gives everyone a couple of weeks to get it if they don't have it, and for me to start reading it again and get some discussion questions ready.  

Susan asked:

I echo all of Kim's questions regarding school projects/papers...how much do you keep especially when your child cries that you don't love her when you throw her stuff away? (alright, there are not actual tears, but she does throw a bit of a tantrum if i don't get that garbage bag sealed up tight and out to the curb before she sees the projects in there.) And what do you do with a child who refuses to throw away broken toy parts? Or a child who thinks it's his obligation to clean up the green belt by picking up the "trash" and bringing it home to his "treasure box"?

*For your first question .... read above.  Especially the part about never doing this while the child is present.  And if you think there's a chance that said child will find the leftovers in the trash, then take the trash to the nearest dumpster.  And by the way ....  I say that when she throws this tantrum and denies your love of her, you say what I say ....... "Add it to the book."

*For your second question .... see the answer to your first question. (I told you .... the more you have, the more brutal you are)

*As for your third question .... I think that totally depends upon the size of said treasure box.  

Well, that and said trash.  

The box has got to become full at some point and when it does that's the perfect opportunity to teach him how to clean things out before new things can come in (kind of like Son #2's explanation of eating 10 tacos --- or my doctor's description of what's going to happen to me over the next two days).  Now this answer only applies if said "treasure" doesn't wither up and smell up the entire house.  If that's the case then you're just going to have to follow the directions in the first answer.  Sorry.

From A:

Dear J,
I take a lot of pictures but it seems that you take a lot more!! Question one - can you take so many pictures because your subjects are so gracious or are your subjects so gracious because you take a lot of pictures? Question 2 - Are you always packing a camera? Question 3 - Do you like formal or informal portraits better? What has been your favorite setting for pictures of the kids? (snuck in #4 without an announcement)

#1.  My subjects are rarely gracious, but that's why they're my subjects  They have to do what I say or live with my wrath.  Except for the cats ..... who don't give a crap crud what I do (except feed them by 7:00 a.m. each day).

#2.  The camera is usually always sitting out in the family room so it's within a quick reach.  

#3.  I prefer informal pictures because they seem to best capture the personality of the subject.  I do like formal pictures .... once in a while, but prefer the kind you take spur-of-the-moment.

And as for the fourth, not-numbered, question .... I liked taking outdoor pictures the best.  Well, those and any with them naked and running around the house, though they tend to get a bit miffed if I take those now.  

Elizabeth asked (but only after she totally grossed me out with that whole "threw up half of it in my mouth and then swallowed it" thing!!):

Do your children read your blog? And if not, is there a reason that they don't??

Five out of six read the blog.  Daughter #1 won't read it and I don't think she's ever given me a straight answer about it.  My opinion is (and remember ..... the more you have the more brutal you are) ..... that she's a very good writer and wants to think that she's the only writer in the family.  

Well that, and she has issues about knowing too much about me.

And .... she can't stand the pressure.

:)

My sister (the one who I'm totally not going to say anything about the hole in the stomach to)

asks:

At what age do your children start listening to you and do what you ask????? Becasue my 11 and 8 year old are driving me crazy!

Oh sis ---- silly, silly sis.  If you are asking me this question now ..... at the ages of 11 & 8 ...... then all I can say is pack your bags and run.  Far, far away.  You are WAY  late.  My answer would be (and you know this!) ..... well before they are two.  If you can't get them to listen to you when they're small,  they surely won't listen to you when they're teens.

So start working on this NOW.  Get MEAN!!  Stop doing everything for them!  Don't make me come up there!!!

Or call ABC and ask to be on "Super Nanny".

Moni asks:

Question . . . after you drink this gallon of gunk . . . how long do you have to HOLD IT . . . what happens if you can't hold it? Do you have to drink more?

Moni ..... there are some questions I cannot, will not answer.  

You crack me up.

ShortyMom didn't ask anything but I have a question for her:

How long have self-feeders been around for kids??!!!!  DANG!!!  I would so totally have bought one of those years ago!!!!!!

OK, I think that's it.  If you asked a question and I didn't answer it then please let me know because I probably just didn't see it (that goes to everyone except Moni).  My eyes are a bit blurry because now it's 11:30.

     And I know everyone wants to ask what I'm doing tomorrow ..... the hose or the gag?

Well, I'm going to put on my big-girl panties and suck it up and drink the stuff.

As God is my witness, I'll get that stuff down one way or another.  It will not beat me.   Nor any of my kin folk ...... nor ...............................  

....oops.  Sorry ..... had an out of body experience there for a moment and went to a bleak plantation in Georgia.

Hopefully I can do that again tomorrow while I'm gagging, throwing up, drinking.