I faintly remember ....

..... what a good night's sleep is. 

But the memory is starting to fade.  

Sleep has been elusive this week.  And I, for one, do not behave at my best with so little sleep.

Not that I've done anything yet ..... I'm just saying.....

  All 6 of our kids knew, innately, that if Mommy wakes up too early, everyone has a bad day.

So they all learned at an early age to amuse themselves quietly until Mommy awoke.

Did you know that there's an awful lot of crud (I wanted to say crap but didn't think I should) on TV at one a.m. and beyond?  Holy cow --- what a mix of trashy "wanna call me" commercials and 30 minute infomercials.  

But wait .... maybe there's something to learn after midnight (and yes, these are really on my TV!) ----

*7 steps to a 720 Credit Score  --- buy this guy's book and he'll tell you how to get better credit (of course the book looks like it's really a 7 DVD set which will probably ruin the person's credit who buys it)

*How to Jump Start Your Business by Selling Crap (dang!  See, I told you I don't behave well when sleepless, sorry for saying crap) --- OK, that's not the real name of that infomercial, but that's totally what it looks like.

*Come to Our Cult Meetings and Succeed in Life --- again, that's what it looks like to me

*Teach Your Baby to Read --- one compound word here ..... whatevah

*Think and Lose Weight Now --- so THAT'S why I can't lose any weight!

*Buy this Sixty Dollar Bible in the Next 10 Days and You, too, Can Know That I am Full of Cra ------ I didn't say/type it!  I restrained myself even though this guy has added three books of his own prophesies to a regular Bible

*Houses for $300 --- Sorry, but I can't bring myself to even take a look at that one

*Exercise equipment That Will kill you, drain your bank account, sit in your house and collect dust and clothing, Make Your Abs Rock Hard in 3 Days

*Look Thinner Instantly --- I kid you not.  I can't make myself watch that one, either, but maybe someone should tell those people to just think about it

*The Jack LaLanne Juicer --- 2 comments/questions ...... He's STILL alive?!  And, this thing can make juice out of ANYTHING.  Of course, not anything that looks appetizing when it's juiced but ... SOMETHING is working for this guy!

*Buy a Barack Obama Coin --- yes, really ..... 30 minutes

*Get Ripped in 90 Days ---  I vote for the 3 day abs

*Buy This Serum and You, Too, Can Look Like Has-been Actresses/Models --- I got nothin

Between those and the commercials directed evidently at men with insomnia and insecure body images (what a classy way to put that, doncha think?) a normal insomniac can't watch anything decent!

OK, that's it for me.  I'm supposed to be playing tennis in about 7 hours, to keep my mind off of the doctor visit in 11 hours, where I'll probably fall asleep in the waiting room.

Now if you'll excuse me .... I'm going to go ransack my closets for something to juice while I just THINK about losing weight.  I'll keep you posted.

P.S.  Pay no attention to the 1:03 time below .... because it's now after 2:00 a.m.

P.P.S.  Got the scan and the orders delivered this morning.  Let's hope they get the report to my doctor before 1:00.

P.P.S.  I really haven't been stressing all that much about this .... at least not for myself (I've stressed about the kids in connection with this a great deal however).  Or maybe I just fooled myself into thinking that I wasn't that stressed .... because right after I delivered them and walked out of the office I had a sudden urge to throw up.  Even I, who cannot speak the same language as my body, understood what that urge, along with the difficulty in breathing and my rapid heartbeat meant (and no, George Clooney wasn't anywhere in the vicinity).  It means that my body is more stressed out than my mind is.

I'm not a complete idiot.