Yesterday I was angry at Jim. Truth be told, I'm still angry at him today. He should be here. He SHOULD be here.
I wasn't supposed to be doing this parenting thing alone. I didn't sign up for it, I never agreed to it, never thought it would happen to me.
But then .... who does? Probably no one.
I hate that he's not here to take control where I cannot.
I hate that he's not here to reassure me that things will be OK when they appear otherwise.
I hate that I feel like I'm all alone in a very dark, black cave, trying to feel my way out of an impossible situation.
I know, I know .... one day I will look back on these days and see how quickly they flew by and that everything turned out OK.
Or will I?
9 comments:
Janine,
I can completely relate. I've had the exact same conversation with God, my husband or whoever else was listening. I did not have kids with my husband to be a single parent, but here we are. Being a mother without your children's father is a heavy burden, especially when those said children are causing stress. But it's also a heavy burden when the same children are making us proud or touching our hearts. Their father should be here to share it all! I believe we will make it through but it isn't easy or fun. Keep breathing and know you're not alone in this anger. It is not fair or right, but it is reality and we will make it.
Debbie
I love you. So. Very. Much.
you will. really, you will.
parenting is hard with two people, so i'm sure you're feeling the struggles so much moreso as a single.
find someone you can rely on for sound advice. bounce ideas from that person. part of parenting is just having someone to let you know that you're not flying off the handle or being unreasonable. parenting teen boys by yourself has got to be challenging. hang in there. you can do it. (you can)
thinking about you…
I get it! I GET IT!! I GET IT!!!!!! SCREAM!
Janine:
I am so sorry you are having a rough time right now. Just yesterday evening, I was doing the same thing as you, crying and angry because I didn't sign up for this "only" parenting job. This is one of those HUGE CRASHING WAVES. Hang on, there are so many who love and care for you and your family.
E-mail me anytime - if you ever want to talk, let me know I'll e-mail you my phone #.
Love and prayers for you,
Beth
I'm so sorry, Janine. I can't imagine parenting even my one child alone. Praying for you!!!
Also, I cry when I'm angry, too...or happy...or sad...or tired... :) I cry a lot. :)
Good evening my darling daughter.
I'm so sorry things are so hard right now. Get yourself on that plane tomorrow and leave it all here. Don't give it a thought while you are gone. Relax and get some quiet time. Maybe things will be different when you return. Maybe I'll break some bones! And not any that belong to me. I love you a tremendous amount.
one day
JB
one day
JB
TANW Praying..hugs..
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