Breathing ....

.... a sigh of .... nothing.
I/We made it past the Thanksgiving/Death Day/Christmas/New Year's/Birthday season.
Some days it seemed as if I barely made it, but I made it.

That thought doesn't make me happy or relieved.  It just .... is.
Hopefully my brain can now tell my body that it's time to move forward .... the chewing can stop (it already has) and the tears can slow down to a trickle (they have not).

The "season" was easier in some ways this year, more difficult in others.
Life is .... complicated.
Nothing is easy.
I used to think differently.
Now I know.

OK .... on to lighter topics.
Sort of.

The boys and I had a good day on Friday.  Jim would have been 52, damn him.  Forever young .... while I just keep getting old.
Believe me .... one day he and I are going to have it out over that.  If he's 47 in heaven then I hope I can choose to be 40. It was a very good year.  And I'd be forever younger than him.
Sigh.

We decided to go to 2 movies on Friday.  The first one I picked because I knew that Jim would have chosen it .... "True Grit".  Then we planned to see "The Fighter" because Son #3 wanted to see it.  After we ate lunch at the mall I sent the boys into the theatre while I made a pit stop.  When I walked in the previews were on and they were showing one with Anthony Hopkins (whom I love).  But I fear that I will NOT be attending this movie.  It's some satanical-looking, keep-you-up-at-night-with-all-the-lights-on-for-a-month kind of movie.  The trailer was enough to creep me out ..... especially since at the very last second there's a close up of him looking more diabolical than even Hannibal Lector talking about chianti and fava beans.  And that's hard to imagine.

So anyway, as that trailer came to a close I heard a woman in the 2nd row up say something like, "Oh, I'm ready for THAT movie."  Her comment was dripping with sarcasm and it sounded oddly familiar.  I squinted over at her in the dark and thought, "She looks like Mom."  Then I squinted at the guy seating next to her and thought, "THAT'S D!!"  So I stomped over to their seats, leaned over and said, "I can NOT believe that you came to town to see a movie and didn't call me!"  My mom looked a bit confused because it was, after all, dark and I'm sure she never expected to see me glaring at her.  Then they started laughing and I sat and talked with them while the boys looked down from their upper row in confusion.  Whereupon I stood up and announced to them, and the four other people in the theatre, "It's Mimi and Papa!".
It turns out that they had found out they could take care of some business that morning so they drove in, did that and then decided to go to a movie.  Mom said, "Not only are we seeing "True Grit", but when it's over we're going to see "The Fighter".  I said, "So are we." and we both just laughed.
So we all 6 sat together through 2 movies on Friday. It was nice.
And both movies were very good, though "True Grit" was my favorite, hands down.  I almost walked out of "The Fighter" because I didn't think I could sit through one more minute of the snarking, fighting, whining and horrific accents of the family in that movie.*  Son #2 felt the same way (as did my mom, as I later found out).  But I'm glad I stayed.  It was good and the acting was very good.  Just beware .... if you go, try to cover your ears through most of the family scenes.  Or you'll want to take drastic action to shut them up.

The boys and I went home after our movie marathon.  Son #2 went out to hang with friends and Son #3 and I watched the Cotton Bowl.  I will refrain from saying anything more about that except .... holy cow, REALLY???
Son #1 popped in and out every once in a while to see what was going on but, no being the avid football fan that Son #3 is, he mostly popped out.

So .... that's how we spent Jim's birthday.  He would've enjoyed it.  Though he would also have wanted roast beef for dinner and spice cake for his birthday treat.
But he wasn't here so ..... tough!

Happy Sunday, Peeps.
:)

*OK, to be sensitive to my lovely friends and Peeps in the northern part of the country .... it wasn't the accents that was the problem.  It was the whining and bitching and snarking, which seemed to make the accents go way over the top.  But then, maybe that really happens when one is whining and bitching and snarking.  In whatever accent one has.
Ya'll may know much better than I.
:)