It's Only the 9th Day .....

..... of March and it's already been one helluva month.
I ended a relationship.
And this week .... I ended my job.

No, one had nothing to do with the other.

Yes, I've been thinking about both actions for a long time.

And yes, I'm doing really well with both decisions.

Or so I thought.
My mind feels good.
My attitude has been great.
I really feel like I'm following God's leading.

So why does the inside of my cheek feel like raw hamburger meat?
It's killing me and I can't seem to quit chewing on it without knowing that I am.
I think it started last weekend ..... when I actually made the final decision about my job and then sent an e-mail to my very good friend and boss, telling him my thoughts and setting up a meeting.
Right after that is when I noticed that my cheek was killing me.

So, even though I keep telling people that I'm doing well .... and even though I really DO think that I'm doing well ..... my guess is that I'm internalizing some things.

I guess maybe it's a little unrealistic to think that one can easily end a one-plus year relationship and feel "fine".  At least on the inside.
And I guess that ending a job of 3 1/2 years .... with people I love very, very much .... is a little harder on the inside, too.  Especially the inside of my cheek.
I'm also guessing that doing all of this, while still loving, missing and grieving for Jim, makes things a bit harder on my insides, too.

But I do feel happy.
I don't feel depressed.
I'm excited about what God has planned for my future.
And though I still miss Jim every single day ..... I'm living.

I'm spending some precious time with Daughters #2 & #3 at the lake today and tomorrow and then heading to Dallas with Son #3 for his spring break next week and some time with him.  And with my wonderful friend V and her children.
Things are good.

I feel good.
I feel great.

Now if my cheek will just stop getting chewed and heal up ..... I'll be perfect!!
:)

Happy Thursday, Peeps.