Whether I like it or not.
And mostly .... if I had to give a truthful answer .... I like it. Although it can seem like a pain in the butt .... I like it.
Jim would like it.
I have quite a host of friends and family who will put themselves between me and ..... well, between me and whatever, or whoever, they feel I need protection from.
Over the last four years this wall has grown thinner in some spots .... and I'm ok with that. Some people might, and do, disagree, but my feeling is that several people have moved forward with their lives (as well they should) and are not as "aware" of what is going on in my life .... and thus, are not as protective.
And I'm ok with that.
Truly.
But some do.
Some feel the need, if not the right, to intervene for a moment .... and check out the territory.
And so they do.
I feel protected.
And loved.
And very, very good.
Happy Tuesday, Peeps.
And thank you for the support .... and the comments.
And for you Lurkers ..... who aren't truly "lurkers".
I appreciate you all.
More than you know.
:)
7 comments:
Mention of the Great Wall produces an image of a huge dragon flying freely ... In recent years, people have learned the importance of the protection wall.
I love starting my day by reading your blog. Glad everything is going so well. You give other widows like me hope for meeting someone too!
Marie ... thanks. Glad I could help you start your day with a smile. :)
Beth ... I'm glad, too. It's still vey early yet, but for now ... it's great. :)
Yay, I'm so happy for you!
Janine,
I adore you. At Camp Widow you hosted the first class I went to. I liked you immediately.
About a month later I went to your blog read "the story"... you know. And grew to love you and your story... That sounds a little weird, I know... but, well, lets just say I relate to you.
Since I now read your blog more often and I see your posts on fb daily, I have grown to adore you.
I can only believe that Mr M reading your blog... in any direction... can only make you more endeared to Mr M than you already no doubt are.
Im glad you've thrown caution to the wind. Even happier that you have such a strong wall of protection. Most of all, Im happy that you are happy.
I hope that I ... wellllll... that's more complicated. I'll be typing for an hour. Maybe I should write a blog. Probably not. No self discipline.
Have a happy day Janine. And please know that while your wall may be thinner in places... by simply being you and allowing the rest of us to know you... your wall has grown by leaps and bounds by people you may not even know exist. And they are thinking of you, and praying for you. And that is a wall of protection in and of itself.
Love you.
Gina Buck
Oh, Gina ..... you made me cry. And smile at the same time (but it's not a pretty picture -- I'm not a good cryer).
Thank you SO MUCH for those words. It's knowing that others are "out there", reading and feeling connected, that gives me what I need to keep writing some days. When I find out that someone has read my words, and then knows that he/she is not alone .... not crazy .... and not grieving the wrong way .... then I know that Jim's death was not a waste. And that makes it, and this "after", more bearable. So thank you, again and again, for telling me that.
It means more than you can know.
Much love, my friend.
:)
I'm not "widow with six kids" kind of crazy - I'm of the Aspergian crazy variety - and my husband handles it all beautifully. So glad Mr. M called. :o)
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