Daughter #1 headed back east on Friday.
Daughters 2 & 3 left on Saturday.
Son #1 left Sunday morning.
Each time one of them leaves it feels as if a little piece of my heart is leaving.
But it's not.
I would have bet money that there are huge pieces of my heart missing .... but I would have been wrong.
I found out today that .... my heart is all there.
Physically anyway.
I'm having sinus surgery is a couple of weeks. Today I had a pre-op visit. I thought that meant I'd go in and sign a couple of papers.
If it were only that easy.
Instead, I was made to watch 2 videos about sinus surgery (I nodded off during most of them .... I hope there's not a test). Then I had to have an EKG, a chest x-ray and 3 vials of blood removed from my body.
So .... the EKG and the x-ray proved that my heart is still there.
All of it.
And it's working ok. Mostly.
It's still stubbornly skipping several beats .... which doctors sometimes freak over. Personally? I think it's just tired and is taking a break from beating all of the time. So it stops beating for 3 or 4 beats ..... what's the big deal? Well, other than the chance that I might drop dead during beat 3 or something? In reality? Not all that likely. My heart, like me, just needs a freakin' break once in a while.
And so it takes one.
But I think I may have digressed .... yet again.
Where was I .... and what was the point of this post?
Oh, yes.
The oldest 4 are gone.
That made me sad.
But it didn't break my heart. Physically anyway.
Which just goes to show that the human heart is one damn strong organ.
I am living proof of that.
I believe that it's nothing short of a miracle that my heart is still in one piece .... after everything (and I do mean EVERYTHING it's gone through over the last 4 years). It doesn't seem probable, let alone possible, that my heart would be beating mostly normally.
But there you go.
Crap happens.
Life goes on.
More crap happens.
Life still goes on.
We are stronger than we think.
We are stronger than most people think.
I have been through .... and survived .... the worst thing that will ever happen to me. Ever.
Worse than the death of one of my children.
Worse than the death of a family member.
Way worse than the death of myself .... trust me.
I've been through the worst .... there's nothing left to fear.
And that knowledge .... is great.
So while I miss my children each and every time they drive away from our home .... my heart will be ok.
It will survive.
And it will look forward to the next time that I see them.
The next time that we're "all" together.
Which happens to be in a little over 3 weeks.
But who's counting?
:)
Happy Monday/Tuesday, Peeps.
:)
