Actually, I'd love to say that I weigh in heavier on the love side, but I don't think that would be true.
And I hate that I hate some of it.
Every year we go to one of the Christmas Eve services ..... and then we go to dinner with friends.
And every year I sit there and cry through most of the service.
Every year at least one person stops me after the service and says, "Are you ok?"
And every year I say, "No."
Sigh .....
It doesn't get easier.
It just ..... is.
I dread going to church on this night.
But I can't imagine not going on this night.
It's part of Christmas.
It always has been.
Staying home wouldn't do anything ..... it wouldn't make me feel any better.
It would just make one night different .... one night that should probably stay as much the same as possible.
And so .... it does.
I hope one day I will love it again.
At least more than I hate it.
3 comments:
Although my situation is a bit different, I can relate to that love/hate feeling. I just want the holiday season and all of its emphasis on couples and whole, unbroken families to be over, but at the same time I know I have to carry on for the kids and try to be jolly and merry. While Christmas eve services are tough, my hardest time is Christmas day dinner. Just not the same.
Definitely a mixed bag of an occasion. Merry Christmas. Let's celebrate love. Both past & present.
I hate how the traditions change, but of course they do as children grow and loved ones leave us here on earth to battle the memories--that always come on so strong this time of year. Personally, I am just ready to get on to the new year.
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