Happy Birthday, Honey ....

...... it's a beautiful day.
I decided to spend it at the lake because I knew that's where you'd want to be.  Hands down.

Son #2 leaves for boot camp on Monday.  Yes, he made it into the Marines, just as we always knew he would.  He's going to be wonderful.  And flourish.  And become the man we envisioned him becoming.   You were always proud of him, of each of our children, and I think you still are.
He was supposed to leave tomorrow but now he gets to stay home one more night, so hopefully I'll get to spend some time with him then.  He soaking up every moment he can with his friends.

Daughter #1 is still in Baltimore, but she's feeling a pulling to try something different.  You didn't even get to find out that she made it into Harvard for graduate school.  But again, I think you know.  She's working very hard .... and would still be making you proud.

Daughter #3 is in her 2nd year of teaching deaf students .... and she's amazing.  She's also in grad school at
Gallaudet University in D.C.  She's working very hard, teaching and taking classes at the same time.  She continues to seek God's will in her life and is an amazing young woman.  I know we're both proud of her.

Daughter #2 is in her first year of grad school ..... back at Baylor.  She wants to do social work.  She leaves me speechless.  Her heart for God and for helping others in dire need .... is huge.  Another child to be extremely proud of.

Son #1 graduates from SMU in May.  We knew that's where he was going, since he's so much like you and had that plan since he was a freshman in high school.  Though one surprise, he's graduating in Accounting (and in Spanish) but has decided that he doesn't want to be an accountant.  I was stunned, but am happy that he's going to do what he wants to do ..... and not what he may be expected to do.  He's been captain of the sailing team, a photographer for the school paper .... and now he's its editor.
He's turned into a wonderful young man, but then we always knew he would, didn't we?

And then there's Son #3.  Only one more year and then he'll be heading off to college.  That's hard to fathom.  I try not to think about it too often because I can't imagine him not being here.  But, thankfully, he's the ONE out of SIX who wants to go to OSU!  Go Pokes!!!!!  I imagine that it will be difficult to go visit him there and not have you next to me.  That's where we met.  That's where we took the kids for Christmas card pictures.  That's where we have a brick engraved with our names on it.
But I do look forward to seeing him there .... and I really hope he doesn't change his mind between now and then.
You'd be proud of the young man he's becoming ..... and of the love of Oklahoma he got from you.  Thanks for keeping an eye out on him.

It's been a year full of ups and downs, as they all have since you died.  But the ups are now outnumbering the downs, of which I am so grateful.
And though I never would have chosen this path for our family, or for me, there have been good things that have occurred because of it.  I am trying to make a difference in the lives of other widowed people.  I think you'd be proud ..... and that helps me keep going.

The kids and I are grateful for the time we had you ..... and will never forget the things you taught us, the love you gave us ..... and the amazing man you were.

Although ..... I have to admit that I'm still a teensy bit pissed that you will forever be 47 ..... I blew by that long ago.
Not fair, Jim.
And totally not cool.

But it is what it is, right?
And today, on your birthday ..... what is ..... is mostly good.
Thank you, honey.
Thank you for loving me so much that I know I'm still worth loving ..... and capable of loving.
Thank you for 6 wonderful children who are also wonderful people.

You will always be a part of me and I will always love you.

So Happy Birthday, Jim.
I miss you.
I love you.
I will never not grieve for you.
But I am happy.
And doing well.
And hoping you are proud.
Thank you for helping me become the woman I am today.

You still rock.
:)