He is trying his best at the moment to get sent home from Boot Camp. I received a letter from him yesterday that was full of depression and fear and homesickness. I expected that. It didn't make it easier to read, but I knew to expect it.
Tonight I received a phone message from him, stating that he had been removed from his company and was being sent home. I was just finishing dinner in a restaurant with V when I checked my messages. I couldn't believe what I was hearing and could only listen to it over and over again to see if I was hearing him correctly. And I could only cry as I listened to it over and over again. I don't think I've ever felt such disappointment in my life.
His Commanding Officer called while I was out and left a message with Son #3 .... he needed to talk to me.
I called him back as soon as I got home and he asked if I'd talked to Son #2. I told him that I had received a message and what he had said.
I told him and he said that no, he was not being sent home .... yet. He was indeed trying to, but it wasn't that easy. He had gotten himself kicked out of his company and placed in another one. One that is on week one now, rather than week three. Of course I made reservations last night at a hotel for the week he was supposed to graduate. A nonrefundable $1,000 dollar reservation for 3 rooms for 3 nights.
Of course.
But money aside .... because it's not what's important here .... he cannot quit.
And the CO is going to call me later tonight, or first thing in the morning, when he has Son #2 in his office and can hand the phone over to me. He wants me to talk to him and to try to convince him of something the CO hasn't been able to ..... he can't quit.
I need to have the strength to tell him that quitting is not an option. That if he quits, he can't come home. He will not be able to live here, he won't be able to get anything back .... like his car, computer, phone. Nothing.
I need to convince him that this, the Marines, is his only choice. His only chance to make something of his life. It's time to grow up and be a man.
And I have to be prepared to back that up. And to take the reaction from him, which will be awful. I know. I've been there before.
I can take it. I'll be OK. But he needs your prayers. He needs to realize that this is his chance to turn his life around .... and to really become a man.
An independent, successful man.
Please pray.
I cannot do this alone.
I need to know that others are out there .... lifting him up.
Please.
Thanks, Peeps.
Very much.
15 comments:
absolutely Janine, you both are in my prayers. Cannot imagine having to have that conversation. You are an amazing woman and an amazing mom. Wish there was something I could do to make it easier, for both of you.
I will certainly be praying. I had to make a call like that one time, and it was the hardest thing I had to do....I just wanted to get in my car and go get my boy.....but, I didn't, and it worked out...
I know you will say the right things and that he will realize you were strong for him out of your incredible love for him. Good luck!
Praying like crazy for you and for Nephew #2. I'm so sorry Sis...and I'm so glad that you have V to stand through this with you. I love you.
Oh Janine, I will be praying for that son of yours to have a light bulb moment and that your words will be exactly what he needs to hear. I pray that his heart and mind will be open and he will make the right choice! Much love to you Sister!
Julie
I pray that the lord will give you the right word's to convience your son that he is in a good place and that things will start to feel Ok there since he has so many people that care about him and that are praying for him, I know that it is so tough for you to have to do these thing's without your husband.You love and worry about your children alone.I pray that God give's you strength.
Praying for his change of heart. And praying that he will seek God in his time of loneliness and depression.
I will keep both of you in my prayers.
Hello,
I came across your blog today,
my husband went to bootcamp when he was 19, and he definitely tried to get out of it after the first few weeks. He tried to come home but his CO and also his father convinced him to stay and get through it.
He still talks about how its the best thing he ever did, and how glad he was that someone believed in him and asked him to stay. It completely reshaped his entire life. He would have totally regretted giving up.
I hope your son follows the best path for him :-)
This really hurts. Our son too chose this route. The first year he went to OTS--the recruiter asked me if I was afraid--I knew that my son would not quit, but that he may be told to go home--in case he should brake something or get sick. When he went to TBS --two years later-- that is what happened, he had a seizure and after all the tests--epilepsy was diagnosed. Not what a 23 year pilot wants to hear. The Marines was and is something that J was always proud to be a part of. Epilepsy and cancer--are just about the only two things that the Marines will retire someone. For him not being able to finish and not being able to finish with his company was devastating. All his guys came to his wedding--and he stays in touch. There are worse things than not getting to come home--quitting--Son #2 really does not want to do that. His manhood will be crushed--and he will blame you later--we always get blamed (mothers). it is now time for Son #2 to take a moment and breathe and take one minute at a time. Stop and think ahead and think what it will be like to really finish something and be proud of how hard the weeks were, but realizing the Marines are the best in the world at what they do. It is hard. There is always someone yelling at you. You have to get up at 4 AM (my son's comment about this--you can get a lot done), BUT it is great when they get their first leave. My son went to dinner at Outback with 10 friends--someone picked up the bill for the entire group. Those boys can eat too!! Son #2 needs to get the high from accomplishing something very hard. After J had his seizure, he was not retired until all the paperwork was completed--and that took some time. His job was to work for the CO--and guess what he had to sit in on--Son #2 type meetings. When the men came in and wanted to get out--Can you imagine the punishment of having to sit in on listening to someone give excuses to get out, and all he wanted to do was stay in and fly. I am not going to make light of it--he wanted to punch some faces.Depression, oh yeah! I know what you are saying--he hated it once he knew he was going to be retired. When J worked with the CO--because of confidential and security reasons--he never gave specifics--but I can tell you this--. the Marines do not let you quit. It is not an option! Yet--J loved the challenge. The CO is right--no car, computer, etc.. The Marines will make a man out of him. This is the first time that the rules are set in cement. He can start over and over and over…depends on if he wants to be a fast learner or a slow learner. My prayer is that when you talk to him, he understands that this is all about him and his decision--that he is now on his own and the Marines want him. If he is afraid that he is going to die, they are tough, but they don't want to lose you. But they will push you to limits that you did not know were possible. But that is so the men can survive under the toughest of situations. Getting tough and tougher is hard, but there is a good reason. By the way, with medication my son only has had two seizures in his life--both at Quantico. No seizures since leaving the Marines but he does have to take meds. God has a purpose. I am going to pray for peace for you--and that God will help you deliver the words that are needed. Bottom line, He is going to hate every minute, but once he finishes--he will be proud and it will be the first step of really moving into adulthood.
My husband went to a service academy when he was 17 and had never been away from home. He says to this day he would have quit every day of his first year had he known how to do it or been brave enough to try. And now, after graduation and a military career it has been (after his family) his most proud achievement of his life. Hang in there, Son #2. Things WILL get better.
You will both be in my prayers, Janine. This is heart wrenching. Bless you, and have V hold you extra tight. I'm sure you need it. I know that you'll keep us updated.
Jacquelyn
I am praying for you both and especially son#2 to make the right decision. Love you.
Reading this on Saturday and praying for this situation with you!
Praying for you and son #2. With God's help you know you can do anything. May our prayers give you a mind to remember how faithfully he has gotten you through before. You can do it again. Stay strong and feel the love coming your way.
There are so many of us praying for you and for Son#2, Janine. Hope you both can feel all the love and hugs from everyone.
Cheryl
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