I was supposed to drive up tomorrow because I thought I had plans tonight.
But suddenly, I found out I had no plans so I loaded up the car late in the evening and came to the place that I love the best, even though it overwhelms me the most.
I used to, in my "before", walk into this house and feel all of the stress of everything suddenly lift up off of my shoulders. Just by walking in .... magically.
I still feel that, in my "after", but it comes with a flood of memories and emotions at the same time.
Just by walking in .... magically.
Jim loved this place.
He had so many plans for it.
He loved coming here with the kids.
He always left a little of himself here when we left after a visit.
Now, of course, he actually is a part of this peaceful place, which also gives me mixed emotions.
We spread some of his ashes here that spring of 2008.
And though I love it here, there have been many times I've wanted to sell it.
Sometimes it's just too much.
But how can I get rid of another part of him?
But for now, I don't think about that.
I enjoy the dark night, the water lapping at the dock, the stars brighter out here than they are back home.
I enjoy being able to share this place with others, and watching them feel what we felt the first time we saw it .... and every time we came up here: Peace.
I'll have a very quiet day here tomorrow, preparing things for Camp Widow, and then the board members will arrive on Friday. I can't wait to see each of them and for us to spend the weekend getting to know each other better.
We all have a passion in common: we've walked this horrible path, we've been through the Valley of the Shadow of Death ..... and we've come out the other side.
And now, we want to walk with others in the Valley. We want to support them, encourage them, and let them know they are not alone.
It's a very strong passion.
How blessed am I?
To be sharing my passion this weekend with women I love, in a place I love.
Very blessed indeed.
Happy Thursday/Weekend Peeps.
:)
4 comments:
It is a beautiful lake house and I am thankful to be one of many who has enjoyed being with you at such a special place. Enjoy your weekend with a very special group of women. Bless you all and your efforts to make life hopeful for others. Love you, Vicki
Again...I love you soooooooooo much!
Hi Janine - what a beautiful peaceful place.
Can I ask you for some prayers? I know you will understand how I am feeling....I lost my only child, my amazing 24 year old son Jonathan on Thursday March 1st when his apartment caught fire. He did not survive - my heart is so broken and shattered right now. We were supposed to be picking out a grad school - not a coffin. Surreal. Not happening. But it did - the obituary is in the paper and this makes it real. Please pray for me and my family. If you have any words of wisdom for me, I could sure use them. My personal email is dmpfromri@yahoo.com
Thank you - hope you enjoyed your time at the lake.
From a broken lost soul,
Diane Taylor
Diane,
T.A.N.W.
Other than I am so very, very sorry. And of course I'll be praying constantly for you. As will so many people who read your comment.
I wish I could say something to make this easier for you, but we both know that that's not possible. But know that I am here for you. Any time.
Janine
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