Maybe it was the coffee date.
Maybe it's post-trip-syndrome.
Maybe it's post-I-was-treated-like-crap-by-someone-who-supposedly-loved-me syndrome.
I have no idea.
I just miss him.
In one way, I'd love to stop missing him.
I'd love to be able to forget how wonderful he was and what a great marriage we had, so that it would be easier to accept another man.
He wasn't perfect. Not by a long shot.
And, as we ALL know ..... I am WAY less than perfect and will never even get into the same hemisphere as perfect.
But we still had a great marriage. Really great. With so much ahead of us.
Or so I thought.
This was not supposed to be my life.
Or so I thought.
He was supposed to live longer than I did.
Or so I thought.
I'd never go on another date again.
Or so I thought.
I'd never hear someone tell me the lie, "I'll never leave you."
Or so I thought.
I'd never meet someone who would try to use me for money.
Or so I thought.
I no longer think so much.
Thinking too much can be painful.
So it's time to stop thinking and time to go to bed.
And sleep.
During sleep people in real life can't hurt you, lie to you, use you .... or die.
I like sleep.
Goodnight.
5 comments:
so sorry, Janine. Don't forget, however, that in sleep or awake, you are loved!
Yes Susan, she is loved...Very Much! I miss you.
In real life none of that will happen again, because you've learned so much from that relationship. You're radar is better than it's ever been. Trust yourself. When the 'right' man comes along, you'll know and be ready. Hugs, honey.
*your*
I'd never meet someone who would try to use me for money.
Or so I thought.
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