Finally Fall

It finally feels like fall here. At least for today.

Yesterday was an "in and out" day. Sometimes I felt "in"..... involved, content, good.
And then other times I felt "out" .... a little bit lost, sad, homesick for Jim (if that makes sense), and still hopeless about the future. And then I'd be back "in". That was most of the day. In and out.
I think I got a little motion sick.

I did realize that while my days are getting "better" and I seem to be "moving on" with life, I still have no picture of the future, or what it will look like. That is still a huge blank. Well, not necessarliy a blank, more like a blur. Which, I suppose, is an improvement on the huge black that it used to be. Very, very black.
Now it's grey and blurry. Which also means that there is still nothing out there that I look forward to.
And please know that I never write my blog for pity, or to make my readers sad, although I know that you do get sad sometimes. I'm sorry for that.
I write because it's what I feel. I don't know why I don't just use a journal ... other than it's easier for me to type than it is to write.
So I don't tell you about the "grey and blurry" to make you feel sad. It's just there and so I type about it.
I am told that one day ..... in a glaxay far, far away .... the grey blur will become more colorful and more defined.
Hmmm, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
Thoughts?