With hope

This is Jim and Son #2, snoozing ..... again. In 1993.

I heard another song today. Unfortunately, the reason I heard it is because of the tragedy in Steven Curtis Chapman's family. His 5 year old daughter was killed yesterday. So when I got in the car this morning the radio station was talking about it and played this song, that he wrote some time ago, ironically. I thought it really fit for me and my children, too.

"With Hope"

This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...

We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again

And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and ...

We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so ...

We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope
-Steven Curtis Chapman

With hope. And certainty.

The girls and I watched a goofy chick flick today -- "A Lot Like Love". It wasn't that great of a movie, but towards the end one of the characters said something that made me pause. The main character was depressed with the way his life was going and his brother told him, "This is your life. Right now. It doesn't wait for you to get back on your feet."
It doesn't. It moves on. I have to decide whether or not to move on with it. I need to keep moving. Trust me, there are days when all I want to do is find an exit. I hope those days grow fewer and fewer. I am told they will, but I've never done this before so I have no experience. All I'm told is to expect to grieve at least two years. Like I can put a time frame on my pain from having my heart ripped apart. I'm not counting the months ... just hoping to go from breath to breath.

I thought I'd share my pictures from the beach. The moon was incredibly beautiful while I was there. I took quite a few pictures of it rising.









I get to go to the beach again .... Cabo! Someone with a wonderful heart is giving me her condo to use for a few days. Thank you, L. I am looking forward to seeing white sand and blue water. And listening to the waves again. In peace and quiet. Which of course means that no children are involved. Another notch for Mother of the Year!!! Oh well.
As long as I leave enough money for pizza they should be happy. Or most of them, anyway. You can't please everybody all of the time.
If you don't believe that then you need to borrow six children for about a week.
And let me know how it goes. :)