Ask Me Wednesday!!

Happy Wednesday.

I have been gone all day and am only home for an hour before a meeting tonight, so the timing of this post will say it's much earlier than it actually is (whenever you first start writing a post, that time is the time it puts as the time the post was done ..... even if it's a week later!  Go figure!).

But I need to focus on this so I don't go throw myself in front of something.

No, no news yet.

I called today and spoke to my doctor's phone person, who said she would make sure he got the message when he and his P.A. came out of "clinic", which was supposedly around 2:00 -3:00.

It's now 5:15.

I've been mostly calm all day ..... mostly, and it helped to stay busy .... and to have an amazing group of men surround me in prayer this morning.

But now my hands are shaking so hard that's difficult to type this post.  I keep making tons of typos, which I probably won't catch tonight ...... so a little extra editing grace will be required from you, my faithful readers.

OK.....

The first question came from Ami and she asked why it's taking so long to get the results.

And, "don't they know how draining the wait is?"

Oh, Ami .... I wish I knew.  It's not like they're growing anything back there!!  I want to scream!!  But .... I write.

And as for them knowing how draining this is ..... I would assume that since it's a cancer hospital and he's a sarcoma surgeon ..... he knows this.

I'm guessing it's just not important to them.

Next up is my sister, Lis:
When you were little, what were your favorite games to play with D & M? Did you have a "hideout" where you and your friends would play? What did you want to be when you grew up? What is your favorite color...and why?
And finally, how much does Gabby weight now?

Wow ..... I'm not sure if I can focus that well at the moment ...... let me see ..... favorite games to play?  We played outside a lot, with the neighborhood kids.  As I recall we played hide-n-seek, kick the can ....... we pretended were on Gilligan's Island in our back yard, ummmm..... Dawn?

Michael?

They were much closer in age to each other (3 years to the day) and so did more things together.  I'm 4 1/2 years older than dawn, 7 1/2 years older than Michael ...... so I probably just tortured them more than played with them.

We did have a hideout at the end of our street ..... I remember that.  I think D&M played there more than I did.

When I was pretty young I wanted to be a pediatrician.  Then around 8th grade or so I decided I really didn't like kids enough to want to do that.  From 9th grade on I wanted to be an actress.  Seriously.  Majored in Theatre in college, but minored in Political Science .... just in case.

But I planned on moving forward with acting ..... until I met Jim.

I still dabbled in it over the years ..... still do, but am not the person that I thought I'd become all those years ago.  

And I'm so very glad.

Favorite color?  If I had to choose just one, I'd say red.  It says a lot, I look good in it, it can be bold and yet soft.  But I love yellow, too.  

As for how much Gabby weighs .... I don't know.  She weighed 101 lbs about a month ago when she was "fixed".  I'm guessing 110, maybe?

Next up .....Kim:

1. Why do they report power outages on TV?
2. At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
3. What is another word for “thesaurus”?
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
and Ty would like to know when he can move his things up there- he says he will make the sacrifice and do his best to keep the noise level at a maximum, it won't be easy, but I think if anyone can do it....he can ;-)

1.  Good question .... no clue.

2.  I would say right arm, more than left ..... for me, at least.  If you're asking if there's a general rule then my answer would be the same as #1.

3.  "What's Another Word For ...."??

4.  Don't even get me started on this one!!!!!!!!!!!!

And as for Ty ..... please thank him ever so much for the sacrificial offer, (which I know TOTALLY came from you!) and that I will ponder it.

Next is Marilyn's question, asking how and when I learned "of the mysteries of procreation".

Really?!

OK ...... (sorry, Mom) ......

The day of my 12th birthday my Mom gave me a set of 4 books that explained the "facts of life".  They were written for either boys or girls and went into pretty decent detail about everything (?) you'd ever want to know about puberty and sex.

As she handed them to me she said, "Let me know if you have any questions."

I think I was horrified enough to realize that I would never, ever have any questions.

I will give her credit though .... they really were pretty good books.  I wonder what I ever did with them?

Next ..... CG's question:

How do you deal with your child coming to you and sharing that her good friend killed himself? He tried to call her but it was her birthday and she didn't hear the call. She is so beating herself up as are her friends that he also called/texted. He doesn't live here because he joined the army a year ago and has been away. I told her they need to have a memorial service or some kind of closure with memories. She is still in shock because it just happened Saturday. I noticed that when someone mentions that he is very selfish for killing himself, she says you don't understand. Just needing to bounce some ideas because this is tough to deal with.

Oh, C ..... I am so, so, so sorry.  For you and for C2.  

I so wish I had the right answer for you.  All you can do is hold her as tightly as possible and not let go for a very long time.  Cry with her.  Tell her over and over and over and over again that this was HIS choice and no one else can take the blame.  She will though, and maybe you should make sure she gets some counseling, from a professional.  

Just love her more than you ever have and let her know that she can talk or cry or scream or just sit and do nothing with you.

I wish I were with you right now so that I could give you, and her, a hugely long hug.  And cry with both of you.

You are in my prayers, as well as in everyone's who is reading this.

KK asks:

Question: who is the angel in the "ask me Wednesday" picture? Is that long hair or a nun-type habit?

Question: do you/did you establish goals or rules around when your kids could get a drivers license? I.e., even though NKB can get his license within two weeks, we just got a not-so-great report card. Do we hold out "improve in school" as a carrot before allowing him to get the license? I always want to match up the crime with the punishment, and driving doesn't have anything to do with grades (to date).

The picture up there is of Son #3, when we were in Rome for Christmas 2005.  He was wearing a hoodie, but had taken it off and hung the "hat part" from his head.  I told him that he looked like a nun and then asked him to pose like one.  He still liked me enough to do it.  

And as for as the "angel" part ........ hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

OK, sometimes he is.

As for the driver's license question ---- great timing on your part!

Yes, we have and do believe that driving is a privilege in our home, not a right.  If one wants the responsibility of driving a car, one must prove him/her self responsible enough to do it.  And that includes making good grades.  

Son #2 will be 17 this summer and he is only now taking driver's ed.  

He is only now showing me that he can be responsible enough to work on his grades.

So as for matching the crime and the punishment ...... I think it matches perfectly.  His grades have everything to do with what he can be responsible for.  

You go girl!!!!

Connie asks:

My Question: How have your children dealt with the death of their father? Do you think they have? I'm concerned about my two teenagers. They hardly ever show any emotion these days - almost a year now. I'm worried that down the road the grief might jump up and bite us. Thoughts?

Connie, I understand completely why you ask this.

My children are grieving much differently than I am and there have been times when I've just flat out asked them:

1.  If they are ever sad?

2.  If they are doing OK?

3.  What makes them sad .... any certain trigger or time?

4.  What do they do when they feel sad?

5.  If they need to talk?

Children, at least my children, seem to grieve better than adults.  And I don't think they are actually, I just think it looks very different.  And I guess it would, since he was their father.

I have offered counseling and they each have insisted that they're OK.

I think yours probably are, too.

Just let them know that they can always talk to you about him, and that it won't make you sad to hear about him or say his name.  Not too sad.

And let them know that you WANT to hear his name and talk about him and about what they're feeling ..... even if you're crying when you're hearing it.  They need to know that the presence of tears is OK.  

We don't teach that very well in our culture ..... and then we face grief.

My lovely sister, Dawn is next:

You did so well answering my first movie question I will ask another.

"Are either of you homosexual"?

You all must know that we are a movie loving family and this is just what we do!

OH PUH-LEASE!!!!!!!!!!

Could you at least make it a BIT more difficult????

"No, be we ARE willing to learn."

And I will let the readers guess the name of THAT movie!

And now it is 10:33 p.m.  I'm done with this post.

 I just got home from my meeting, and then spending some time deepening a relatively new friendship that I hope will get much deeper.

And ..... I had 2 margaritas while hanging out with this friend, so I'm feeling pretty dang good.

Better than I did when I left for my meeting.

I think "the wait" shall once again spend the night outside, freezing his butt off.

That is my hope anyway.

And tomorrow ...... we start all over again.