It was a scream filled with such outrage, anger and hate that it HAD to have been heard.
First, let me say that I intend for this to be the first of two posts today. The second post will give you the backdrop behind this post ...... what was happening in my day.
But the second post will require a glass of wine .... or 4.
I waited to post this first one until after I went in for my now-weekly-massage, to see if it changed my perspective. Or made a difference. Ummmmm, I'm guessing, "No."
Back to this one.
Let me say that I never watched The Bachelor (nor The Bachelorette). Never. I had an idea of how they are run ...... you start with several girls, you narrow it down to one. And there are bunch of roses involved. That was the extent of my knowledge.
But before this season's show, I noticed some commercials. And my heart was caught by a little boy. The "Bachelor's" little boy. And so I decided to watch .... and see how this worked.
I have not watched every episode ..... I usually watch about every other one, even though I set my DVR to tape it (I end up deleting a lot of shows instead of watching them. Not sure what that says, but there ya go). So I don't feel a vested interest in any of these girls ..... or in him. Just in his son.
So today I sat down, in the midst of an emotional morning, and decided to watch last night's episode while I was working on something. I find that when I watch TV while I'm working on something .... I don't really watch it, I only catch key phrases or events.
It seems that TB (easier to type) had narrowed it down to 3 women. He took these 3 women to New Zealand for their next date, which sounded as if they would each be one-on-one dates.
Yes, New Zealand. Because isn't that where your future husband took you? Give me a freakin' break. Whatever .... that's not what this is about.
He took date #1 out ...... I think on a helicopter ride or something equally cool. I really didn't pay any attention at all ...... until, sometime after the date when he was talking to the camera. And then he caught my attention ..... 100%.
I think I have a kink in my neck from the whiplash that occurred when my head shot up. Good thing I had the massage.
Here's what he was telling the camera ..... he really, really likes this girl. He really, really likes all 3 girls. And so, after his one-on-one date with each one he would decide whether to offer them ...... to spend the night with him. He wanted to make sure that the "passion" was there, as well as the fun and the friendship.
As his words sunk in and I realized that he was going to sleep with all 3 of these girls .... I screamed. Really.
T.A.N.W for the rage that filled me. Or the hatred. It really was if my eyes filled with blood and I couldn't see through the rage. In that moment I hated him. I hated the producers of this show. I hated the companies who support this show. (I'm still hatin', but I'm working on that.)
My instinct was to pick up something pretty heavy and hurl it at my kind-of-recently-installed flat screen TV.
I have no idea what kept me from doing that. None.
Except that the very next thing that happened to me ..... were tears. Lots and lots of tears.
Now, granted .... I see things through a different lens now. I will always see things through a different lens. But ..... really??!
Am I the ONLY person who thinks this is horrific????!!!! Am I the only person who canNOT believe that these girls would let this happen? That they would knowingly sleep with him ...... knowing that he was going to compare them and that he was "checking out the engine" before buying the tires?????
On. National. TV???!
I'm not naive ... not by a long shot. I realize that the whole "sex before marriage" thing is dying out ...... heck, dead and gone in Hollywood.
It's not that ......
.... it's just that he was going to do it with ALL 3 WOMEN ( and he did .....no, not all at once, thank God for small favors)!!!!!! Something that's supposed to be so intimate and amazing and relationship-growing. And then ...... he was going to send one home.
OMG --- I can't really be the only one, can I?
Can I?????
Am I that far gone in my grief??
Well, am I??!
I am now going to open a bottle of wine, cook dinner for Son #3 and enjoy his company and then maybe .......
write the second post. But until then .........
AM I????!!!
21 comments:
I watched it and I had the same thoughts. And for them to WANT to be involved with a show/man that would let that happen - he could have said "No". And his poor little boy will see that someday I'm sure. gross.
Nope your not the only one!!! That is why I don't watch!
N
I do not watch the show either.
I have never been the type to date more than one person at a time...and this show...he's trying to find a WIFE and he's supposed to have THAT deep of a relationship to propose at the end...but it's not until he proposes that the 'deep' relationship is over with another chick. The concept is BEYOND me...hence why, I think, only ONE of these relationships has ever worked out- Trista and Ryan. Yeah, I watched when the show first came out but no longer. I hate it...and the producers, and the people that think it's 'real'. Come on people...seriously!?!?!?
Oh, and then the girls are forced to LIVE with each other through all of this. No-way-no-how! I would never be BFF's with a girl that's dating, looking to possibly marry!!!!, the same guy as me!!
:) whew...thanks for letting me get THAT out!
NO! You are definitely not alone! I have not really watched this season, but I was watching the View this morning and was disgusted with the small clip of him. Basically... Elizabeth made the comment that he took the, "When in doubt, make out" route. Supposedly one of the girls spilled her guts and confessed her love for him and he basically decided it was time to make out. Awful...!
Hmm, one would think part of this is dramatized for television purposes . . . I did not realize they were still doing the bachelor thing.
This is exactly why I watch very little TV, mainly movies we rent. Most of what I see on TV is this kind of sensationalism. I think I saw on the TV at my health club that some type of show like this ended up in a terrible tragedy where someone drove the entire group of girls and the guy off a cliff. I would suggest e-mailing or writing someone to vent your rage and possibly influence the producers.
Oops! I just googled mistress and cliff and it wasn't a TV related tragedy-my mistake.
No, you are not alone! That is absolutely ridiculous. I would have been VERY disturbed and angry if I had seen that show. Reality TV seems to get racier and more controvercial--they don't want people to get bored.
It's so sad to think that many people wouldn't think twice about that episode...
yep, i'm sure i heard your scream. i'm with you. never watched it but there is not doubt that is disgusting. what gets me is how the girls can think so little of themselves...
i will admit to watching the show. i usually watch with my daughter to sort of filter what she would be watching on her own without the mother filter.
i was disturbed about the make out thing and exactly what you ranted about as he talked about the passion, etc.
and then the hypocracy i hear about if he asks melissa to marry him, they're flying her parents to NZ so he can ask her dad because i guess he's just an old fashioned guy. um hey, i slept with your daughter, and she was the best, so yeah, i'd like to marry her if that's okay with you.
the more i watch, the less i'm enjoying. and there are blogs out there that are making fun of it. . . but now there's a little boy caught in the crosshairs.
yeah, ick.
Good evening my darling daughter. As you can see, no, you are not the only one. I watched it today on my pc and tried to tell them they were all sluts. And he the worst of all. No excuse or reason for any of that. Such a shame that not one thought more of herself than that. Totally gross.
Loving you bunches here.
I have absolutely hated (I don't use that word very often as we have dubbed it a 'very strong word' in our household) but absolutely hated the show from the git go. I have NEVER watched an entire episode because I knew my stomach and psyche would not be able to handle it. I'm sorry, but you can't force love and you can't "pick" your wife/husband from a dozen of superficial people on a game show. Period - the end!!! As Forest says "that's all I got to say about that".
THAT'S why I don't watch! Drives me crazy! I would never marry someone I knew was even kissing someone else while I was in a relationship with them! And we wonder about today's morality?!!! Happily monogamous in Kingwood! Cindy T.
Right with ya babe. I am very scared for our society. Sometimes I wonder if I even did enough with my own children to combat this complete senselessness. They have such a hard road if they are going against this c#%p. Grrrr!!!!!!!!!
I watched that damn show one time, and one time only. I think that when I realized the very same thing that you did Janine (the whole sleeping with the "finalists"), I actually started to feel sick to my stomach. I mean really? Is this really happening?? And the best part of the whole thing, is that these girls are so darn pretty. Do they really have that much trouble finding someone to date that they have to go on a television show? Maybe they are doing it for the fame, who knows? But I mean, really? Can those women really not find another man to sleep with, who isn't sleeping with 2 other women at the same time and TELLING them and ALL OF AMERICA about it???? UNBELIEVABLE????
It's awful because women and young girls watching the show will see this as a normal process in finding a partner in life. The same thing happens on The Bachelorette, and gives men the same idea. And I agree - his son will see this someday...and that should be enough for a parent to do the right thing.
You are definitely NOT the only one. I don't know how those girls could consent knowing he'll be doing the same thing the next night with the next one. And really, how does Jason wake up from his "passionate" night and greet a whole new girl the next morning?! If he's honestly considering proposing to one of these girls, you'd think his conscience would kick in at some point! You weren't the only one screaming...I ranted and raved to the TV during the last half of the episode.
That's disgusting and just the kinda trash that America and my home country (UK) is banging out to our kids and making them think that it's ok. Then we take them to church and they may begin to think that church is old fashioned and these jokers on tv are cool. Makes me mad...REAL MAD!
Like many of you parents we then have to seed our children with extra little snippets of wisdom and morals in the hope that they listen to us and not the media.
Arggh! I'm angry now too! Lol!
That is ridiculous, and it is the exact reason why I do not watch the bachelor. The attitude is that we have to be perfectly matched in every way (apparently now including physical intimacy) instead of choosing to make a marriage work.
OK, I am going to fess up here, but I do watch the Bachelor, haven't missed an episode. Now I will tell you that I do NOT think it is reality. I can't pinpoint why I like it exactly, except for I am a sucker for a true love story and I did see the Trista and Ryan season, so it can happen. I would not want to be on this show myself...that is NOT the way I would want to chose my mate either. I also will say that I don't think that the girls all slept with him, at least in seasons past, they have not, or so they say. Maybe I am naive, but I don't think they would knowing that it is being televised on national tv. They have overnights, but that alone does not mean that they went beyond "making out" and nobody can say for sure unless they were in the room with them or the couples confessed to that. Yes, I do think the making out is just too too much, and I will say this is the worst season for that EVER! I don't watch the show with my kids and I certainly don't want my kids to choose their spouses this way. I just keep hoping that someday there will be another couple like Ryan and Trista, who I do think, really really love each other. It is kind of like watching a soap opera. I find it entertaining, mostly, a few ewww moments, so there you go. An opposing view point for what it's worth.
Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?
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