My Cats are Mocking Me ....

..... which is just one more way that I'm being driven insane.

Saturday night I brought home a bag of peanuts from the Dinner Theatre.  You know, peanuts-in-the-shell-like-baseball-game-peanuts.

The bag was stapled shut.

I sat it on the island.

The next morning I went to church (where I was, thankfully, blessed).

And then I cam home.

To this:

..... all over my house.

It took me a moment to realize what it was ..... and then I just walked around the house, looking at whole peanut shells, parts of peanut shells, out-of-the-shell peanuts, and peanut shell dust.  

All. Over. The. House.

And so I knew, yet again, that even though they KNOW they are not allowed on the counters, that they must count to 5 when they see my car pull out of the driveway ..... and then party hearty on my counters ..... making fun of, and mocking, me.

And then I think I yelled something like, "I hate you!!" ..... to no one in particular since no human or animal of any kind was near.  

Followed by something close to, "I hope you choke on a peanut!!!" 

I'm sure they were upstairs, laughing at me.

And then I started cleaning up peanut pieces ..... which Rigby then heard and came running down the stairs to greet me.  

Funny ...... the moment he saw me picking up peanuts, he froze.  Our eyes locked.  If death rays could have shot of my eyes .... he would be dead.  And he had that knowledge.

After a moment of staring at each other I said, "Don't even THINK about coming near me or into this room!"

And he did not.

In fact, he tucked his tail and ran back up the stairs.

He.Is.Not.A. Total.Idiot.

I'm still finding peanut shells in the house.

I was sitting here, reading my e-mails a moment ago, and I heard the sound of a cat, playing with, and chasing ..... something.

I.Am.Not.A.Total.Idiot.

And so I grabbed the camera.

And snuck up on a stupid feline.  See anything under his paw?  Anything that resembles a peanut?

And then ..... HE saw ME:

And I imagine that the words that ran through his brain at this very moment were, "Oh CRAP!".

Actually, I don't think he thought "crap", but I wanted to keep it somewhat clean.  Notice that he's attempting to hide the peanut under his left paw.

I seem to be having a love/hate relationship with my cats.

And I think their mission is to:  

#1.  Kill me (since they love to run through my legs as I'm descending the stairs).

or .... failing to accomplish #1:

#2:  Drive me insane.  

And no, I'm not being overly dramatic.  These two cats love to take things (my things) and hide them in the house.  They are trying to "gaslight" me.

And it may be working.

So I played tennis today.  "the wait" got into the car with me .... though I made him sit in the back.  

He sat on the bench while I played and I was focused enough on drilling and playing that I didn't pay any attention to him.

And then my cell phone rang.

And his fingers reached across the court to grab my heart .... and my stomach.

And when I ran to answer the phone and saw the phone number was from the hospital, he grabbed even harder, and this time he also grabbed my mind.

When I answered the call, and found out it was a nurse from post-op who was just calling to check on me ....... he didn't loosen his grip.

In fact, he squeezed my heart even harder.

And so I spent the rest of my morning having to take deep breaths every few minutes or so to calm my beating heart.  Which is kind of difficult to do when cold, bony fingers are grasping it.

I totally hate him ..... and he totally loves that.

Hmmmm, sounds like another love/hate relationship ...... only he's the only one who's loving.

Well, that's all for now.

I hope that you checked out the magazine and saw my PUBLISHED piece!  That feels really cool.

If you happen to think about me around 7:00 tonight ..... it would be great if you'd send up a prayer, or twenty.

I'll be leading the Grief Share group and I am a bit overwhelmed.   I need to be able to say the right words, or to not say the wrong words, and to make sure that everyone there gets heard.  And I need peace.  But then ..... that's nothing new.

I may be posting several times a day while "the wait" is hanging out with me.  It's a good distraction and it seems to make him loosen his grip just a bit.