Ask Me Wednesday!!

Happy Wednesday, Peeps!

Today was another good day, other than not feeling quite up to par physically. But it didn't stop my from running errands with my sister, or picking up my car. It did, however, stop me from going to Circle .... I just needed to lay low tonight and relax. Especially since I'm playing tennis tomorrow. So hopefully I'll feel OK enough to last 3 sets .... and to play well.

So .... tomorrow will be another good day. Tennis, work, nails (trust me .... the look of my nails is a clear indications of my emotional well-being .... sometimes it's quite necessary to have the mask of my nails on), and then a benefit for a crisis pregnancy center tomorrow night.

Oh .... and I heard from Daughter #3 today and she and D2 and S1 are coming home this weekend!!! I haven't seen them since my birthday so I am thrilled. And next week I am going with D3 to Austin to help her settle into her apartment. I am looking forward to some one-on-one time with her. Very, very much.

And oh #2, D1 told me yesterday that she will be home in a couple of weeks .... for 2 weeks!!! I had anticipated only 1 week so I am thrilled.

It's very, very nice to have some things to look forward to.

On to the questions, Peeps:

Nat asks:

Here's my AMW question-
You spoke recently about a new duty of your job as a staff liaison, what exactly does this add to your work load?

Hi Nat .....

Well, it seems to have added quite a bit to my work load, which surprisingly, has been great.

It will be a bit less in the next week or so because I am passing on Grief Share and Divorce Care to another staff member (and am very ready to do that), but am keeping Stephen Ministry and ACTS. I'm also adding on as a co-team leader for MOPS (which I have missed being involved in) and will help teach a Bible study this fall.

But as for totally new duties, I am a liaison for our Pastor. He cannot be at all places at all times, nor does he have the time to deal with every single staff issue. So now it is my job to meet with other staff members, listen to them, talk to them about how things are going, and to help them with things that they may have gone to him with before. Not they they cannot still go to him, I am not his eyes and ears, I am more of an advocate for each staff member. I can hear things that he cannot. I can listen and understand people in ways that he can not. And then I can go to him and tell him what's going on and what my gut (in having the gift of prophecy) tells him that he should do.

I love this job .... in ways that I would never have dreamed. I am not a confrontational person (in spite of what some people may think) but have to deal with that in this capacity, and it's been OK. I think I've done OK with it .... I hope I've done OK with it, and I think that the staff likes that I'm here and can listen.

Anon asks:

Here's my AMW question-
Did any of your kids walk away from their faith after Jim died? My son, now 21, was 19 when his dad died. My husband was very sick for 4 years and esp at the end my son saw way more crap then any 19 should have to see. Because of this he has totally walked away from his faith and living a "I only have today so go for it" kind of life style. Any input or thoughts would be appreciated.

Dear Anon,

Oh how I wish that I could tell you, no .... none of my children have gone through this. But that would be a lie.

Our oldest child has struggled with her faith (and I think, indeed, has walked away from it) and with her anger towards God.

There is nothing I can do, other than encourage her to talk to me about what she feels, without judging her, and to listen as best as I can. The only other thing I can do is pray. And pray and pray and pray. And rely heavily on Proverbs 22:6---"Train up a child in the way he(she) should go, and when he (she) is old he (she) will not turn from it."

I'm not sure what "old" means, but I'm willing to keep praying as long as I have breath within me.

And I also realize that this is the age (she's 24) that young people will step out and test the faith that their parents taught them. They need to learn to own it themselves .... not because of their parents' expectations. Much, much, much easier said than done .... trust me.

Anon asks:

Praying for Stellan multiple times a day. AMW- what is your most embarrassing moment? If you're brave enough! Glad everything went well at the cardiologist!

Hi Anon,

Thanks for the well wishes with the dr. I'm glad things went well, too. Very glad.

As for my most embarrassing moment ..... all I'm going to say on that one, to protect the innocent .... and to try to not humiliate any certain child, was it was when one of our small-ish children walked in on us. Now, you may all fill in the blank of whatever it is you may think they walked in on ...... but I will say no more.

Except that it was THE most horrifying moment of my life .... and I don't think I spoke to Jim for 2 or 3 days after that.

I'm mostly over it now ....... mostly.

Well, upon further review ... maybe not.

Carrie asks:

Hmmmm...for a question...hope this doesn't make you sad, but I just wondered - do you still have a lot of Jim's things around your room & house, or did you get rid of most everything so they wouldn't remind you so often? (if it's too late, next week is fine). :)

Hi Carrie,

Good question.

I still have all of Jim's clothing, but I do not have them where they can be seen. His closet ended up being a very, very painful place for me. So I cleaned it out relatively early .... I think in the first 3 months or so.

But I didn't get rid of everything. I boxed up what could be boxed up and put those away in a storage closet and then hung up all of his "hang up" clothes in another storage closet we have.

I wanted the kids to be able to go through his things and keep what they wanted, as they felt led to do so, but I needed them to be out of my sight.

I did clean out all of his toiletries within a week or two. I could not stand the pain of seeing the every day thing sitting out in our bathroom. They gave me no comfort at all .... only a stabbing pain in my heart.

After several months I cleaned out his study and made it mine. I still have many of his things in there .... several of his books, his plaques, school board honors, but I paired them down by quite a bit. When I recently had the room painted I took down all of his CPA certificates that hung on the wall (and there were several) and have put them away.

I had to make his closet different .... make it mine, and I had to do the same thing to the study. They were not places of comfort for me when they were his.

Not all women feel the same way about this. Some women keep the clothes in the closet for years. And I see nothing wrong with that. We are all different and we all grieve and heal in

different ways. I would never judge another woman for the way she grieves.

NEVER.

We each have to do this in our own way .... in our own time.

And I honor each woman who does it her way .... in her time, in spite of what others may think .... or advise.

OK, Peeps .... that's it for this week.

Thank you for your questions .... as always.

Stellan has still not been moved to Boston, as there are no beds available in the PICU there. He had a better day today, so that is a huge blessing from God.

But, things still need to move forward and Jennifer and her family still need your prayers for strength and comfort and peace.

Thank you, Peeps. I have told her that you are praying ..... and praying ..... and praying.

You can find her latest post here.