"Solace"

Happy Saturday/Halloween, Peeps.

Today I'm going to write about a book I just read, "Solace: Finding Your Way Through Grief and Learning to Live Again" by Roberta Temes, PH.D.

The first thing I want you to know is that this book is an easy read. I finished it in a week, and could have done it much sooner had I not been busy with going out of town and other time-stealers.

It's a very comprehensive book in that it deals with grief from the very first moment of shock that sets in to ways to help your children and YOU deal with grief and on into your future.

I loved her chapter titled "Novel Ways to Help Yourself", in which she describes something called "the tapping cure". Trust me .... it helps.

Roberta writes in everyday language so that it's easy to understand what she's talking about and she totally "gets it" for those of us who are on this path. Sometimes it's almost too difficult to read a recipe, let alone a self-help book on grief, but this book spoke easily to me and to my heart.

She's not preachy at all .... she's real.

There are 8 chapters and they are entitled:

1. "What is Bereavement" -- in this chapter she explains all of the signs, emotions and needs that we have in this stage. She made me feel less crazy because someone else "got it".

2. "Cause for Concern?" , in which she describes many of the things that happen to us that make us think we really are crazy and some of the things might really be a cause for concern.

3. "Helping Yourself", in which she writes about many things that are actually therapy for us (like planning, socializing, working, art, etc).

4. "Help from Others", in which she gives the pros and cons of bereavement counselors, talks about friends and family, help for military widows, etc.

5. "Rituals and Remembering" -- this was a great chapter that was very matter of fact, yet easy to read. She writes about funerals, cremation, mourning customs, anniversary days, etc. Again, she knows her audience and writes straight to the heart.

6. "Helping Children Through Grief", in which she writes about listening to, speaking to and understanding your children and the grief from their eyes.

7. "Novel Ways to Help Yourself", in which she writes about two unique ways to find some relief from the pain of grieving.

8. "Your Future" -- by the time you get to this chapter you start to realize that you do, indeed, have a future.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who's on this path with me AND to everyone who knows someone on this path. It will help friends and family understand the grieving progress so much more than just walking alongside the person. I think I ended up underlining passages on almost every page.

And if this means anything .... it's the first "grief book" that I've read cover to cover. I'm sure that most of you here with me get that.

Also, this is not a book only for widows/widowers ..... it's for anyone who's suffered a loss.

It's available at Amazon($10.17) and Barnes & Noble ($14.95).

If you decide to read it please let me know what you think of it, OK?

Have a wonderful and safe Halloween, Peeps!