God MUST be bored!

This picture is from my sorority formal our senior year.  We had the world by the tail.  Mainly because, we had each other (that's why we could act stupid for pictures -- we didn't have to impress anyone else!).

     OK, so ...... REALLY???????  Have YOU nothing else to do up there???  Was today such a quiet day that You figured, "Hey, all's quiet over in Iraq at the moment, there's no hurricane brewing any where, the heat in the central and western part of the U.S. is about as high as it's going to get, hell's  not freezing over at the moment ...... let Us just go and poke about in txmomx6's life for a moment.  She hasn't had anything happen in ..... oh ...... 6 days or so.  C'mon .... the CT scan ... that was nothing!!  Let's REALLY freak her out!".

     Yes, be it blasphemous or not (and I choose "not"), that's the speech I imagine happened earlier tonight.  

   Right about the time I was finishing up my lovely dinner with R and we were sharing our feelings about being on this "road" together ..... my phone rings:

Me:  "Hello?"---- because, even though I see it's from "home" so it's one of the boys, I don't want to appear impolite in front of my new friend and say "WHAT?!!!  I'm having a nice dinner.  I've told you not to call unless there's fire or blood!!!"

Son #1:  "Ummmmmm, there's a bat in the house."  And let me just add that he seemed a lot calmer than he should have.

Me:  "I'm sorry .... what did you just say?!"

Son #1:  "There's a bat in the girls' room."  --- still very calm

Me:  "WHAT???  A BAT IN THE HOUSE????"  and pretty much not so calm -- no telling how many people in the restaurant heard that

Son #1:  "Yes.  In the girls' room."

Me:  "How do you know?!  Did you SEE it??!"

Son #1:  "Yes."  --- OK, can I just say that sometimes he is so freaking much like his father that I want to punch something?!  Why do I have to DRAG out information?!!!

Me:  "How did you find it???  What made you go up there and look?????"

Him:  "I was watching TV downstairs in the living room and I heard a really loud squeaking noise.  So I followed the noise up the stairs and into their room."

Me:  "Was it on the ceiling?"

Him:  "No, it was on the floor, next to their closet, flapping it's wings.  It's pretty small --- about the size of my hand."  ---- another question...... do you think it really matters what size the stinking bat is????  I don't care if it's as big as a doberman or as small as a butterfly --- it's still a BAT and it's still IN MY HOUSE!!!

Me:  "How do you think it go in?!!!"

Him:  "I don't know."

This is where his knowledge of the bat population failed him.  Trust me though, it totally came back later.  I instructed him to call JD and have him come up.  I then called another friend, who I knew was out and about, and she and her husband drove over.  I needed some men.  I didn't know what they could do.... I just know that I needed some men.

     So we paid the bill and I hurried home to find my friend and her husband and her eldest son at my home.  JD was not far behind.  Son #1 was now totally clothed with no part of his body showing, except his head.  And he was carrying ---- the pool net.  He was loaded for bear .... or bat.

     We all went up to the bedroom.  THE bedroom.  The bedroom that I cannot bring myself to show people (except my mom a couple of weeks ago .... I thought she'd faint).  The bedroom that will totally expose me as the biggest failure in motherhood there is.  The nuclear waste that is the "girls' room".  If that dang bat hadn't been up there I'd be totally humiliated and probably comatose with shame right now.  But there was a bat to hunt.

Only ..... the bat was nowhere to be seen.  Trust me .... that bat, and it's whole entire family (I'm talking cousins, great grandparents, etc.) could hide in that room for a month and we'd never find them).  I was only hoping it didn't come there to die ..... which wouldn't surprise me.  Elephants do that, right?  Go to the elephant dying grounds to die.  I would not be surprised if there were hundreds of bat carcasses in that room already.

Anyway ..... where was I?  Oh yes ..... we couldn't find the bat.  The guys even stayed in the bedroom with the lights off  ----yes, the guys --- the gals, --- i.e. the more intelligent sex,  stayed outside to listen to the squeaking and screaming.  Alas, there were none.

It was decided to open the window and stuff a towel under the door and leave the room for the night.  I'm not sure if that was to let the rest of the family in or to let the one poor lost soul (and maybe sick and rabid) out of the house.  I was not crazy about that idea ... especially since I didn't know HOW the thing got into that room!

     So we were starting to come down the stairs when Son #1, who had already gone downstairs yelled, "Quick!!!  Bring me the net!!!!!"  So we ran down the stairs and the cats had a bat cornered in the laundry room!  It took 3 males to get that bat into the net.  Then they took it outside and debated on letting it go or keeping it so I could call animal control to come get it and test it.  The latter choice won, and then 2 males tried to get the bat out of the net and into a garbage bag.  That went on for a while before this result was decided upon:

Yep, it's a bat in a net in a bag --- taped up.  I personally think the bat could easily claw his way out of there, but then I'm just a poor weak female who might faint at the sight of a bat.  Whatever.

     So here is the current debate --- was this THE bat or is there a community of bats hanging in my rafters or walls or whatever?!  Personally, my vote goes for the lone-bat theory.  I also think he (or she --- I'm not sexist) is probably sick and rabid.  Healthy bats do not lay on bedroom floors flapping their wings.  They fly ---- outside.

     But the new bat expert here (a.k.a Son #1) thinks it wasn't acting alone.  What the heck does he care?  He can fall alseep in less than 60 seconds and be dead to the world for the rest of the night.  HE won't be the one listening for every squeak and creak all night long!!!  He really does need a good smack one of these days.

So there you go ---- my evening.  Don't you wish you were here?   And don't you agree that God MUST be bored up there?!!  Really??