**Update: Nat gave me an idea --- for those of you who knew him/us, would you please tell me what you miss?
Thanks.
..... this face. I miss this look. I miss his presence. I miss his humor. I miss his fathering. I miss his voice. I miss his support. I miss his companionship. I miss his friendship. I miss his lips. I miss his arms. I miss his sarcasm. I miss his wisdom. I miss his tardiness. I miss his frustrations over work. I miss his humbleness. I miss his leadership. I miss his laundry. I miss his dislike of cats. I miss his phone calls. I miss his "I love you". I miss him waking me up to kiss me goodbye every morning. I miss falling asleep with him every night. I miss his unconditional, forever love.
I miss more of him than I can list.
I miss ......... him.
Oh. So. Very. Much.
20 comments:
Good evening my darling daughter. I so wish I could take this from you. I hurt so for your pain. I love you dearly. Please know I pray for you daily. I so want you to find some peace and relief from your pain. I love you so much.
I really miss Jim too, but most of all I miss Janine with Jim-the complete package, the boyfriend+girlfriend couple, the soul-mates, the hand holders, the parents of six incredible people, two happily married people, the madly in love husband and wife team who we all admire, envy and love. A very Godly team.
Thanks, Nat. You made me smile.
I love hearing what others miss, too. Maybe I should add a P.S. on to the post and have everyone who knew him/us what they miss.
I must add specifically that I do miss Jim's smile, his dry wit and most of all his wisdom on a lot of issues. You remember from time to time I would have a "question for Jim". Since December 18th I have wanted to ask Jim questions regarding colleges, church issues, candidates and also the most important one-how can we help your wife and children get through this unbelievable heartache?
Most of the Jim I knew was from confirmation classes, guide meetings, and retreats. When I started working with middle school students it seemed that Jim had already been there a long time. At our last retreat, this past November, as we were all lining up outside the dining hall, Jim came walking up with his own coffee mug. A big, tall, insulated mug. The other adult guides immediately started drooling and one asked how he got to be so smart to bring his own mug. He smiled, tilted his head and said,"Folks, this is not my first trip to the rodeo."
He had already been down to the dining hall and filled up before the 100+ got in line. The other guides looked a bit deflated.
I will miss him when confirmation rolls around again. He brought a sarcastic joy that can not be replaced.
Thanks, Tamara --
I really loved that one.
Janine
I miss just seeing Jim at church. He was just always there and with his family and always so calm.
I miss him advice,
son number 2
I want to comment even though I do not know any of you except thru what you have written. I read this last night and prayed for you and when I woke up this morning and was praying He brought you back to my mind. I wanted to say that you wrote a beautiful portrait of your love for him and of your love together. All of the things you wrote spoke your heart. You and he created a beautiful legacy for your children and for those who know you. Having been married thirty nine years and working with him for the last sixteen years I have a small inkling of what I will feel if my husband goes before me to heaven,vecause of what you have been willing to share. I pray that your memories will give you comfort and that you will feel the arms of the God of all comfort today around you. You are blessed to have been loved so deeply and to love so deeply.
When I'm at Berryhill I remember and miss the guy who took time to grab Alicia and me and tell us of his concern for Miles, which prompted him to cut oout and give us a clipping from the NYT about a diabetic who started a cycling team. He wanted to be sure Miles knew he can do anything he wants to do. That was such a selfless and caring thing to do. -Rick
Unfortunately with you living in a different state than us and only seeing you and Jim together maybe once a year I never got to be around you both much. But what I do know is that Jim was so in love with you and my wonderful nieces and nephews. I remember one time when mom and I were visiting Jim came upstairs and asked me to please not leave my curling iron and hairdryer pluged in in the bathroom. At first I thought man what a strange request...I do it at home and nothing bad has happened. But later when I had kids of my own only a year later I understood what he was talking about. The children's safty. I know that might sound kinda silly but that has stuck with me all of these years. Also I must say that Jim was kind, understanding and very generous and knew that family ment alot to you. His paying for me to come down and help surpries you on your 40th was awsome. I could go on about his generosity but I know you know. I had a dream the other night about Jim. The first one I think I have ever had. It was good to see him. And even though I didn't get alot of chances to spend time with him...I miss his smile and his laugh. He did alot of that in my dream. Go figure. I hate that you have to miss so much more than the rest of us. When I read son #2 comment I cried. I love you J! :)
I remember when I first started registering the worship attendance into the computer 14 years ago. The old system I needed to type in each individual name to record the attendance for the week. The Shelby system is much more efficient - I soon became very familiar with the coming and goings of the Eggers family. They were always at church and if they were not they were out of town. Slowly the first child went off to college and the "W" would be missing from the card except for breaks from school. Then the "L" & "K" in addition to "W" would be missing from the card except for breaks from school. Then I knew in time the "S" would disappear from the card, then "P" then the "C" except for the breaks from school. At least that is the order is was suppose to happen. Somehow when one of the J's disappeared before the "S", "P", or "C" it was oh so wrong. I miss what should have been the logical order of events. Things are suppose to happen in sequence not in some random way or so I thought . . .
I couldn't even begin to write about all of the things that I miss about him, but I DO want to say that I love reading what other people write.
Lately, I just feel like I want to ask everyone that question- what they remember and miss about my dad.
Unfortunately, I spend most of my time in a place where no one knew him (I think, though, that it's even more unfortunate for them).
So thanks to the people who are sharing stories on here. I really, REALLY enjoy reading them.
I hope you won't mind a comment from someone who only wishes she could have met this great guy.
After almost 15 years I still love to hear someone share a story or rememberance of my husband and I know my children do as well.
I kept forgetting that there were other people hurting from his loss too -maybe in a different way than me but still feeling the sting.
Never feel like there will come a time when you have to put away your memories.
You are all a really neat family.
Thanks for sharing a little of Jim with the rest of us.
Luanne
I miss the way he would look at things and quietly annalyze them, with common sense. He NEVER read too much into anything. Then he would lay out what he thought and you would then realize that his interpretation was most likely correct. His sense of humor was by far the best. It took so long to figure his sense of humor out, but after I/we did, it was absolutely awesome. And like our sis, I also miss his generosity, not only to me and my family, but you KNEW he was generous to EVERY ONE!
Finally, I miss knowing that my sister and her kids were being taken care of and loved so unconditionally. My heart hurts the most when I'm missing that!
I love you J!!
Little Bro
J-I have asked your bro NUMEROUS times to call Jim regarding financial advice. I know M never called. (Too proud???)
The last time I asked him to call was over a 401K program at my work. I wanted to know the BEST option to take. I never signed up for it, M never called Jim for me!!
Anyway, like D, we have always lived in another state (or country) and I was only fortunate to enjoy Jim's company probably once a year.
I miss knowing that he is THERE for all our questions (I know we would have bombarded him when we purchased our first house! He won't miss that!! LOL I would have drove him crazy!!)
I also loved watching him "father". HOW WAS HE ALWAYS SO CALM???!!!
Love you all and wish we could have all seen eachother more through the years and gotten to know eachother better.
So much has been missed.
:(
XOXO
K in AK
Let me go further into depth of what I said before,
My father was more than just an advice giver, but he kept me sane. He knew the right things to say when I would come to him with a problem, which was usually after or before Communion. So all I know now is that, yeah, I might crumble, I might take a fall again, and I'll always miss him,
but I miss my ever lasting friend
Son Number 2
Luanne,
Thank you so much. Even though we've never meant, I always appreciate your comments, thoughts and prayers.
Janine
I miss Jim's calm, reasoned approach to an issue; his dedication to and insistance on quality in education for our children; his quick wit and sweet smile. I miss his kindness and generosity of spirit. I think of him so often and still cannot believe such a bright light has been lost to all of us.
I miss seeing Jim ride by my house on his bike. I miss the man who my husband and 3 sons all looked up to, admired, and aspired to be like. The man who my son #1 quoted in his college essay. I miss the "lake house Jim", who would spend time during his weekends and holidays playing, fishing, boating with my children. I miss Jim's laugh and his humor. I miss his smile. I miss seeing him at church. Watching my son #3 run up and grab his legs- and he always took the time to bend down and say hello and ask T some question that T would have to ponder for a moment before answering. I miss the insight Jim would bring to our caregroup Bible studies and discussions. I miss "mardi gras Jim" and how he would catch me offguard with his quick wit. Imiss seeing him in a Tux and purple socks!
My son #2 misses Jim. He misses the sleepovers that he would have with P and C when Jim was incharge for the weekend, and then going to church with Jim and P & C and stopping at Wendys after church. He misses seeing Jim at confirmation and the retreats. He misses the car shows with Jim and JD and the boys.
I miss the example Jim set for my husband in raising daughters (and so does my husband)I miss that Jim was such a Godly friend to my husband (and so does he).
I miss the man who made my friend happy. I miss being a wittness to the love they share. But I will always remember the love they share- and I will always remember these things I've listed here and more.
I miss Jim. My husband misses Jim. My children miss Jim.
I love you, K.
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