And before some of my readers think how horrible that might sound, Jim is standing behind me, reading this and laughing is butt off. Well, not really .... I guess you have to have a butt to laugh it off, but I digress.
I'm am totally enjoying time with my grandma .... well, the time that I'm here. I had a luncheon yesterday and had to work today, but we went to dinner and then to C's football game tonight.
And speaking of his football game ..... I am going to vent.
Prepare yourselves. Especially if you coach middle school football.
HOLD MY HOOPS!!!!! I am going to slap that man silly!!
Son #3 and I left for Oklahoma last Friday around 1:00 (OK, it was supposed to be 1:00 but since the flight was delayed it was more like 3:00) so I had to take him out of school early. Which means that he missed football practice after school that day. Which means, and here's where you have to hold me back ....... the coach penalized him and told him that he would not be starting in today's game because he missed that practice. Well, not only did he not start, but he played less than 5 minutes during the entire game. He was very upset, which made me very upset. Besides, my 86 year old grandmother came to that game to watch him play!!! And Mom and D came to the game!! I am so P***** at that man!!! Why do they punish the children for something they have NO control over???? That was so unfair and childish. Are ALL football coaches like this???? Do they all have a power trip going on? If you are one, and you do not, then please comment and tell me so. Because all I want to do is go up to that middle school and rip into that man.
OK, I vented. I feel better.
Not really, but I'll pretend to.
This is my sweet grandma:
This is my mom and my grandma:
This is Son #3, waiting to play (#26). Who knew that he'd be waiting for 3 quarters?
Here he is, sucking on his mouth guard and looking at me, while I'm yelling his name!
Here he is on the field .... notice that it is now dark. Oh, and you can't tell which one is him, but trust me, he's out there.
OK, that's all for tonight. I need to drink a glass of wine and relax. I know that if I say or write anything to that coach, Son #3 will never play football again while he goes to school here.
And if you are a football coach (or a band director, or choir director, or theatre teacher or any sports coach) and this is how you operate ..... you should be totally ashamed of yourself.
Reader-moms ---- any opinions?
9 comments:
Well, while it does stink- and seems completely unfair (and is actually unfair-especially when the kid has no control over it!)Every football coach I have ever known has these same types of "incentives" to guard against missing practice. At the HS level, he will not only "not start" but he will also have to do 500-1000 airades if he misses a practice. excused or not.It is definately a sport that takes some getting used to. I am so sad that this happened while your Grandma was here to see C play! That really bites! I'm sorry!
Love you,K
Awwwwwwwww, Grandma looks just like Grandma, just a little less black hair! I hope you are having fun with her. How long is she staying? I wish I could be there. And I agree that sucks about C missing practice and not being able to start. It's that way in Indiana. Eric was in band and if he missed a practice he couldn't play that week at the football game. I guess it is insentive to come to practice every day. Who the heck knows. What I do know is I love you tons and miss you more! Hugs!
Awwwwwwwww, Grandma looks just like Grandma, just a little less black hair! I hope you are having fun with her. How long is she staying? I wish I could be there. And I agree that sucks about C missing practice and not being able to start. It's that way in Indiana. Eric was in band and if he missed a practice he couldn't play that week at the football game. I guess it is insentive to come to practice every day. Who the heck knows. What I do know is I love you tons and miss you more! Hugs!
Whoah....don't get me started on sports and coaches in the US!!! Nice life lessons being taught here - punishment, punishment and more PUNISHMENT!!!! Even when it is out of your control. Wait a minute - sounds a bit like the Catholic church I used to belong to! What ever happened to praise and encouragement to help these kids envision their potential WHILE enjoying physical activity? I guess I'm jaded. All I see is the selfish need to win, and I'm talking about the coaches.
I hate when schools punish kids for things that they have no control over! Sorry I don't have anything more profound to say... thinking of you and praying for all of you guys! Wendee
Yep, that is the way Kingwood works. Did you all know this rule before you went out of town? I hope they follow this rule across the board. The really, really good football players do they also get pulled if they miss a practice? So if they miss practive because they have a dentist, doctor, ortho. appointment they also get pulled for most of ths game.
I can't help but wonder if these coaches that use this type of punishment realize what they do to these kids. I played little league basketball and one year of jr. high basketball and out of all of the practices and all of the games, one of the things that really stands out in my mind is the punishment. I lost my grandfather the Friday after Thanksgiving, (it's been years, not looking for sympathy here) and the visitation and funeral were on Saturday and Sunday. I missed two practices (on Thanksgiving weekend, mind you) to attend the funeral. The coach saw the obituary in the paper, knew that I had spent the entire weekend at a funeral home. We had a game 30 miles away the next week that I sat out the entire game. The coach had a routine of subbing us in a certain order and I was usually next to last. He used the girl that he usually subbed last and I sat on the bench during a game that we lost 34-2. A game that my parents drove me to using money they didn't have to buy gas so that I could be there.
My mom said she never realized that I never played (I think she just doesn't remember), but I still remember that punishment to this day. You know that coach don't remember handing it down but it has affected me as a person. I never played basketball again after that season. My kids are just starting out in little league and my son sat out during his first scrimmage practice his first season with another player. The coach apologized (I can't tell you how many times) and blamed it on old age (he's 40), saying that he just forgot that he had two boys sitting on the bench. I let him know then that I wouldn't put up with it, simply because I know how it affected me. It never happened again.
Each situation is different and of course some coaches would punish the child because of something the parent said. That's a chance you take when complaining to someone who seems to have more power than they should, especially if they're going to punish a child for things outside of their control. Sorry for the book and good luck!
Janine, I feel bad your grandma didn't get to see Son #3 play much. I hate when that happens.
But I must give an opposing view. I applaud you for putting family ahead of sports. I wish more people would do that. But just as your job is to do what is best for your family, #3's coach's job is to do whats best for the entire team and not just an individual. As a former cheerleading coach, married to a college football player/high school football coach, and mom to a volleyball coach I have to tell you there is a whole other side. I can't speak for your school but the ones I'm involved with if you miss any part of the school day for any reason it results in sitting out a portion or sometimes a whole game. The reasoning is- school comes first.
Last week one of my daughters VB players couldn't be at practice because her mom called and said she was too sick to come. But on the way home from practice 2 hours later, my daughter just happened to see the girl getting out of a car and walking into a restaurant with mom on one side and the boyfriend on the other. The mom had the nerve to question the fairness of her daughter having to set out a game.
Thats just one of the many many excuses coaches recieve on a daily basis. Coaches don't have time to investigate every excuse, so there is a blanket rule. If moms don't like the rule they should switch places with the mom whose kid is a 3rd stringer but attends practice every day and has to watch as a player who missed a days practice (which as you know are brutal)plays in front of her son. To me that seems more unfair.
The mark of a good coach in my book will be one who rules like God. Just and fair. His rules aren't put in place to do you harm but to build your character. Unfortunately as we see in far too many professional athletes there is more emphasis placed on building stars, rather than building character. I see the situation as win win for your son. He has a mom thats interested in family ties and a coach who wants to insure he becomes a man of integrity.
Give your son a big hug and tell him practice is important so kick butt and take names and be ready for next week.
Now on a different note...boy can I identify with the closet story. I often pondered the same thing. The thought of remarrying is too difficult to think about if it means having to rearrange closet space to make room for his things. Much as I loved my guy, his clothes vanished rather quickly. I wish the grief could have gone away so swiftly.
Have fun with Grandma
Luanne
As much as I love to read your blog, Janine, I LOVE to read the comments your friends and family offer. Luanne's comments were really interesting to me.
I only wish I were a "hold my hoops" kind of girl/mom. I guess my masks are in the way to often...
Something I need to work on.
Thanks for the perspective.
Michele C.
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