Go Pokes!

                                    Ohhhhhh ---- Essssssss ---- Youuuuuuuuu!!

                           Jim's brother J, me and Jim --- the last time we visited Stillwater.

     So OSU beat A & M.  Actually, beat is not the correct word.  I think we shamed them.  Which is nice because it's usually the other way around.

     I have had a good weekend.  Friday night was SM training and most of yesterday was SM training.  Last night was hanging with friends and kids.

Today was church and then hanging out with Son #3.  We went to see "Eagle Eye".  I thought it was good.  Actually, I liked it much better than the first time I saw it as "2001: A Space Odyssey".  It was action-packed and enjoyable.  Son #3 liked it.

I've been home relaxing and catching up on vomit-laundry since.  I've also done a bit of work, played with the dog, put things up around the kitchen (still not done with that and am waiting to post pictures for you .... probably in a few days!).

Actually, the kitchen is almost done.  We just need to finish up some last touches.  I love it.  I'm very happy with it.  Now work has been started on the half bath.  The cabinet and sink have been ripped out.  

     Then comes the ripping out of the skanky carpet.  I can't wait for that part to be done!

Still waiting for work to be done on the lake house and here.  It's very slow going -- this repair stuff from Ike.  I should totally post a picture of my pool.  Son #3 thinks that two alligators are living in it.  He could be right ---- it's pretty green and murky.  Not really pretty .... but, well .... you get the point.  I'm going to have to call animal control soon.  Or maybe Survivor Man.

     Tomorrow I have a tennis match and then a Grief Support group in the evening.  I went for the first time last week and enjoyed it.  Well, as much as you can enjoy this stuff.

     This support ministry falls under my new job position.  I changed from the Director of Missions to the Director of Care Ministries.  This includes Grief ministry, Divorce ministry, Stephen Ministry (soon), and other support ministries for people who are struggling.  This has been a great, though very new, change for me.  I have not a shadow of doubt that this is where God wants me right now.  He has been leading me to this point over the past several months.  I wish I could go back 9 months and change what happened to Jim, but I can't, and so I'm following God's leading.  I know that He will use this tragedy in my life to help others ... and I'm glad.  

     I have always had a heart for young moms and loved encouraging them (well, not "always" but for over a couple of decades!).  Now God has directed that heart to young widows.  Not that I have all of the answers or know everything there is to know about grief.  I just know what I know.  And that's enough.  He will lead me through this stuff and it will be such a blessing for me.  

     I will always have a very special place in my heart for Kenya, and maybe some day I'll go back.  Who knows?  Daughters #2 and #3 are going back in late December.  I'd love to go with them but it doesn't seem to be in the picture.  

     So now I am moving on.  At least with my ministry position.  And with life, most days.  I know there will always be bad days.  Always.  And I won't know when to expect them .... they'll just punch me in the gut as they always do, but I'll deal with them.  Or not.  

     I miss Jim more than I can say and I will always have tears ready.  I would rather have him here with me than anything else in the world.  But I can't have that.  Yet I can choose to go on and keep living in the best way I can:

One breath at a time.

Thanks for being with me for these breaths.