Son #2 is 16, though evidently he told a couple of grown women (who wanted their picture taken with a guy in uniform!) that he was 18. He will be the death of me yet.
Yes, Leslie .... the kids did the laundry starting in the 3rd grade. They, too, consider themselves really blessed if I sometimes fold a load for them.
And so they are.
Luanne, --- no, I did not get the law degree. I went for the first year and then decided that it wasn't for me and that I was going for all of the wrong reasons. So I stopped. And have never regretted it. Mostly.
The kids each had do dishes for one week at a time. We tried the one day thing, but that was horrible for us. What happens if the person in charge that day is not home that night and so there are a ton of dishes left for the next person?
So we moved to a week at a time. And they had to have them done by certain times. If they didn't do them on time (like before 10p.m.), or didn't get something done, they received a strike, which was recorded onto the dry erase board. Once three strikes were accumulated the offender received another week. I think Daughter #2 once did them for 3 weeks (in a row) before finally getting it right. She holds the record.
No, we never had a problem with them going to bed. The only thing I can figure is that we never made bedtime a huge routine. It just always WAS. When Daughter #1 was about 3 months old or so we just put her into her crib, said a prayer (yes, even as a baby) and then turned on her little musical bird that hung on her crib (I think it played for about 10 minutes or so), kissed her good night, said "night night" and turned off the light and shut the door.
And that was how we did it from then on, with every single child. Yes, there were bed time stories sometimes, but not every time. We didn't drag out the routine with cups of water, rocking to sleep, extended prayers (cuz they can get you on that one!) or books. The routine never varied.
And not one of them ever tried the "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED" fits. Don't get me wrong, the boys would sometimes grumble that it was bed time, but they still went to bed.
I don't know why we did what we did, but it worked for us.
Yes, they had chores. They had kitchen duty starting in third grade and started doing their own laundry at the same age. When they were smaller than that they helped in the kitchen (unloading dishwasher, wiping the table .... little things). Each person was/is always responsible for clearing their dishes from the table and rinsing them.
They took out the trash (we later added that to the weekly chore list, too), fed pets, helped the younger ones, helped clean the house, etc. Most of the basic stuff that most families do.
Oh, they also started packing their own lunches around 3rd grade. And getting their own breakfasts shortly after that.
Yes, I'm mean. I was accused several times of being the meanest mom in town.
I am proud of that title.
Because they can all do their laundry and clean a toilet. Hopefully my daughter-in-laws will love me!
5 comments:
I wish I could be more like you! I feel since I am a stay at home mom that it's my duty to clean the kitchen, do the laundry, get the kids up and so on. Am I wrong to feel it's my responsiblity? If so HELP!!!!!!!
my daughter (whom I love) got up early this morning and cleaned the guest room...(we're having a houseguest while i'm in Africa...my husband is insane) I had stripped the bed to wash the sheets...she made the bed...beautifully...without the sheets. but it was her idea...there's hope. susan
D --
I would not say that you're wrong, I'd say that you're most likely normal but falling into the SAHM trap.
Look at it this way ... if you are the only one doing everything ... what are you teaching them? Will they know how to clean, cook, do laundry, etc? It's not your job to be their slave. That is not the role for us as mothers. It's to train them how to do it so that they can be independent, successful adults. Successful, as in being adept at whatever it is they choose to do. If we don't allow them to be responsible and adept around the home, how can we expect they'll just know how to "do it" when they leave?
They can always blame you for NOT teaching them how to do things, but they can't do anything but thank you when you have.
If its not too late I have a question from one of the mom's at S's pre school. They have 3 boys......4 1/2, 3 and 10 mos. Yes...they have been busy! Well, son # 1 has always been a good sleeper but son # 2 keeps getting up at 4 - 5 AM and won't go back to sleep. He makes so much noise if they ignore him that he ends up waking the baby and then son # 1 and....then everyone is up. She is exhausted and nothing seems to work. They have even checked their sprinklers to make sure they aren't going off too early. Did you ever have this problem?
L
P.S. I love the parenting tips....we need ALL the help we can get!
I also make my kids do tons and tons of chores... talk about mean mama! ha! :) I think it's teaching them responsibility and heck as a single mom I tell them they have to do their part to keep the house up (they think they do everything... but whatever). They DO do a lot: clean toilets, mop, vacuum, sweep, mow lawn, dishwasher, put away laundry, clean up rooms, clean tubs and showers. They pretty much do the majority of the chores though I cook and clean up misc stuff everywhere all the time (working on this...). But I don't feel so bad about it because their teachers have told me that they can tell the kids understand responsibility and do their part (like duirng camping trips when other kids don't help and sit around doing nothing while they put up the tent). So... it pays off even if they hate it! :)
Post a Comment