Actually, I think I'm doing more crying than sighing.
How can something that seemed so right yesterday, suddenly seem so wrong and hurt so much?
Yesterday it helped when I went back to my journal writings when I first started feeling that something wasn't quite right. Back to the beginning of October.
It helped.
For a while.
Today .... nothing helps.
All I want to do is go to bed and sleep.
I love him.
I miss him.
But I can't be with him.
I never thought I'd cry this much for the loss of a man again.
I .... as usual .... was wrong.
And while I can see the good that came through this ..... so very much good, the pain that it's causing now makes the past look blurry.
So there you have it .... more weeping and whining from this blog.
Thanks to all of you who've commented here and on FB. Thank you for your prayers and your thoughts.
Please keep them coming.
Oh, and Tiff .... the font is from the Blogger Designer Template and it's called "Coming Soon". I'm glad you like it.
:)
I'm going back to bed.
I'd love to say "Happy Sunday, Peeps" but it would ring very, very hollow.
So I'll just say ........ "It's Sunday, Peeps."
8 comments:
Sorry for your pain. I know what you are going through. Hugs and prayers.
Roma
I can't imagine what you are going through but I am praying for you!
Sheri
I wish you didn't have to work thru another loss. I will be praying you thru.
Luanne
Again...all I got is...I Love You!
so sorry for your pain; prayers are with you.
Sorry to read about your breakup, J. Remember on the widda board chat, when I went through relationship nonsense with a guy I used to call the Houston Hottie? :P
He was my first relationship "after," and I am SO happy now that he moved aside so that Mark could find me ...I know it hurts, and you feel like loss is a magnet to your soul-so have a good cry, wallow in it, and expect fabulous things to follow.
I have never been a widow, but have been through broken relationships and the crying afterwards. Usually within a few weeks I could look back and realize what I didn't want to acknowledge while I was in the relationship--it just wasn't the right kind of relationship. Hopefully that realization will come to you.
I just caught up on your blog for the first time in a while. I'm so sorry to hear about the end of your relationship, the tears and grief, and yet happy for your happiness and confidence in the decision. I have that issue of questioning my "innateness" and instinct about knowing something just isnt quite right. so this week i ended my relationship. Yes again. Yes for like the 10th time (LOL), if that in itself doesn't tell me something. lol. I found it hard to believe or convince myself that when you have two good people who love one another and are both Christians and who met that... it wasn't right, and yet it wasn't and no amount of forcing and trying made it so. Alas, I hope i have finally learned my lesson. I admire how you can make decisions and stick to them - something i have a tragically hard time doing. I loved reading about the "last day" - I mean, didn't "love" it bc it was so so sad and poignant - I remember that day from afar out here, hearing about it and not believing it but not being that close to you and... just shocked. You have overcome so much and I so agree with your sentiment about "just love"... it speaks so much. God is love. We are Gods hands and feet (sometimes not so good as his mouthpieces - lol). Sending lots of - W.
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